Thursday, June 5, 2014


Emotions are not always easy to control. I sit at home thinking about the events over the past few weeks and I am really asking myself how could I have handled it better? One thing about me is that when I want something I want it. Not spoiled, but when I REALLY want something if I don't get it......not good.

This past few weeks a friendship has been forever changed, a person that I truly had feelings for just dismissed what we had at one time had, and now a part of my life is in limbo (will write more once the limbo is over), but with all of this I have finally looked at how I have or how I am dealing with all of this. I often wear my emotions on my sleeve which is weird for person who can't cry in front of other people. Looking over my actions these past couple of weeks.......I have been a bitch, I can admit.

Now as I deal with all of this going foward, how will I choose to act? I honestly don't know.  I do know whatever the outcome is I do know that I will be alright, life goes on, I a still have worth, and I am still amazing!!! I am going to try hard not to take the emotions I have going on inside out on other people and I will continue to try to be the best person I can.

Recently I cam across a quote that exemplifies exactly how I feel most days......

"I am a master of my spoken words and slave to those which remain unspoken"

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

How to Talk to Your Kids About Michael Sam

All I know.....

World wind of emotions these days. I think I can finally admit I love you and what scares me is that I don't know why, or maybe I do know what and I am afraid to admit it, and what scares me even more??? We can't be together and the feeling is not mutual.  Don't know if I have the words to go further.....I have started and deleted so many posts on this subject. One thing that I am still trying to do through it all is what??? Still smile!! :-)

Monday, April 14, 2014

My thoughts right now....

“Sometimes you can’t explain what you see in a person. It’s just the way they take you to a place where no one else can.”
Each day on facebook I try to post a quote that means something to me or to inspire and/or just make people think. This was today's quote.  Why did I pick this one? I have been asking myself what did or what do I see in a certain person? Why no matter what they do I can't let them go?

Who you are attracted to or what you see in a person can be such a mystery to the outside person, but to you it makes PERFECT sense. It could be the way they talk, the way they make you feel, the memories you share together, or how they treat you.  Question or issue for me is how do you let that person go when in the big scheme of things they cause you more harm than good :-(

Don't know how this is going end up, but we shall see....


Trying to blog more, too much going on in my head right now. Maybe soon I won't be afraid to post, but until then, they sit in my drafts. 

Current pic, I always need to remember to smile :-)

Saturday, March 22, 2014


I remember when I was in elementary school and my first band instructor wrote the word ASSUME on the board and then said when you assume you make an ass out of you and me....get it? This has stuck in my head ever since then.

Why am I writing about assumptions? Because lately I have been thinking about the assumptions so many people make. Rather it be regarding me, others, or assumptions about things in general. I recently was in a meeting and as people talked and voiced their opinions I could not help but think about the assumptions people made when trying to defend their statements. I left that meeting really thinking about what assumptions do to people and how the can be very bad.

Here are some of the common assumptions that people have about me.....

  1. nice
  2. mean
  3. straight
  4. gay
  5. nerd
  6. anti-social
  7. naive
  8. innocent
I could keep going......but I won't. The ones I have listed are the ones that irritate me the most.  People make these assumptions before they even take the time to get to know me and seem shocked when I turn out the way that they assumed.  

I think the world would be a better place if assumptions were not made and if you want to know something or find out about something just ask. How hard is that????

Friday, March 7, 2014

You still get to me

The fact that I have decided to no longer reach out to you might be one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. Why? I still care for you. We were supposed to remain friends......but I can't continue to be an afterthought when you are not single. I will be ok, self talk right here.

It is what it is. Lesson learned.

Good Morning!!!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Bored and Sick!!!

Stumbled across this while bored in bed sick :-( guess I will answer.....them all

1. Last kiss 2006 I think......long story, miss her
2. Last phone call business call, boring
3. Last text message asking about a friend's shoe collection  
4. Last song you listened to Eric Roberson's "Be a Humanitarian"
5. Last time you cried this morning 

6. Dated someone twice nope
7. Been cheated on nope
8. Self harmed nope
9. Lost someone special several times
10. Been depressed yes
11. Been drunk and threw up nope

12. had sex nope
13. How many people have you had sex with this year? zero
15. Made a new friend yes
17. Laughed until you cried yes
18. Met someone who changed you yes
19. Found out who your true friends were yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you definitely
26. What did you do for your last Birthday nothing
27. What time did you wake up today 4:00 am
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for marriage 
30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time 2001, right before she died
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life singleness 
32. What are you listening to right now Criminal Minds
33. When is the last time you had sex? never had sex
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now her
35. Most visited webpage Facebook
36. Favorite colour soft blue
37. Nicknames ursie, urs, u-boogie
38. Relationship Status single
39. Zodiac sign Virgo 
40. Male or female female
41. Primary school lauderdale & snowden
42. Secondary School snowden
43. High school/college central and Vanderbilt 
44. Eye color brown
46. Height 5'10
47. Do you have a crush on someone yes
48. What do you like about yourself lots of things
49. Piercings 2 in each ear
50. Tattoos one on my neck
51. Righty or lefty righty

53. First piercing ears when I was 12
54. First best friend forgot name, kindergarten boy with a name beginning with M
55. First hookup never hooked up 
56. First Bestfriend didn't I just answer this?

59. Eating nothing
60. Drinking tea
61. I'm about to lay down
62. Listening to television
63. Waiting for to feel better

64. Want kids? Yes 
65. Get married? Yes 
66. Career research

67. Lips or eyes lips
68. Hugs or kisses hugs
69. Shorter or taller taller
70. Older or Younger older
71. Romantic or spontaneous romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms arms
73. Sensitive or loud sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship relationship

76. Kissed a stranger nope
77. Drank hard liquor often
78. Lost glasses/contacts nope
79. Had sex nope
80. Broken someone's heart maybe
82. Been arrested nope
83. Turned someone down yes
84. Cried when someone died yes
85. Fallen for a friend yes

86. Yourself yes
87. Miracles yes
88. Love at first sight not sure
89. Heaven yes
90. Santa Clause nope
91. Kiss on the first date maybe
92. Angels yes
93. How would you label yourself? Querky 
94. Someone You Pray Everyday For kids
95. Did you sing today everyday
96. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About I have no ex's
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? Wouldn't 
98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For peace
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? nope
100. Do you like the way you look? Most of the time