Monday, November 2, 2015

I wanna love you

This title came to me while I was working on my Random Thoughts blog and figured since I had a block just go with it.

I do wanna love you, but it is not that simple. Last night I had convo with a cousin on why we won't hurts, but it is life. When two people have an attraction to each other but life just doesn't have it in the cards. I want love to be simple, I want love to be with you, but don't think it can happen.

Are you worth the risk? I really want to love you, all of you, but I can't.....

Sunday, October 11, 2015

National Coming Out Day

Well......I was supposed to write yesterday, but had too much to do and funny how I end up writing today.  This morning when browsing Facebook there was a picture that really irked me. I thought nothing of it until I began to read and catch up on my blogs. Today is National Coming Out day.  The picture I will not go into detail, but just got me to thinking....

I have always had this conversation in my head of should someone have to "come out" I mean. Do you have to make an announcement to the world that you are something other than heterosexual? I mean why can't you just love who you love? Why is it a big deal when someone comes out, or rather can people just be?

Also start to think about why people "stay in." The words I hear, the thoughts people have because they just don't understand or refuse to understand. I think about myself and what would I do, what do I do.....take that statement however you want.  The hypocrisy so many have when it comes to how they treat people once they found out they are not heterosexual.

So many thoughts on this subject and don't think it will ever be able to be captured in one post, but this is a start......

Saturday, September 26, 2015

That topic...

I thought about what I would write all week. I know the topic I should write about, but I don't know if I am redraft yet. Although very few people read my blog (if any) not sure if I am ready to share.

Ever think about the life you live? Is it you or are you living to please others? Are you being your true authentic self? These are questions I have been toying with for a while now. Don't have the answers and don't know where this train of thought will lead me. What I do know is that it is scary.

The is in draft and maybe one day I will have the courage to write, but for this day even starting post is a step, small step, but a step.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

What do you really want in a relationship?

Saw the below meme today and I was like this sums it up. What we say we want and what we date usually don't correlate. I mean why can't we see this?

Saturday, September 12, 2015


Having a rough week and the thought "am I lovable?" has crossed my mind several times and it is scary. I often wonder if someone will ever love me? Take me for me?

Don't know if this feeling will go away, but right now it is constant. Wish I could write more, wish I could verbalized more how this post came to be, but right now......I can't 

Saturday, September 5, 2015

It's just hair

I have recently started to get my hair done on a more regular basis and the reactions I have been getting have made me irritated. I mean it's just hair.  White people are fawning over it, black people keep saying if they had hair like mine. I mean rather her is curly or straight it is just hair.

I wish more people would appreciate their hair in whatever state it is. Straight, curly, afro, bobbed, shaved. It is all just hair.  

Sunday, July 26, 2015

35 while 35 list!!!

Well the tradition continues......every 5 years I am going to complete a list of things. So since I turn 35 this year (seems like I was 30 forever) I will attempt to complete the following 35 things :-)

1. Save $3500 
2. Lose at least 100 pounds (originally said 35 but that is too easy)
3. Run 1/2 marathon (gearing up for Hot chocolate 15k as a warm up the Music City Marathon)
4. Read 35 books
5. International travel (suggestions welcome)
6. 35 random acts of kindness
7. Go on an actual date (one year this will actually fall off my list)
8. Get my 2nd tattoo (design already picked out)
9. Random thoughts daily for entire year (will post weekly on fb)
10. Blog on original blog weekly
11. Meet 35 new people and write about experience (for those who know me.....I don't talk to strangers so this is a big deal)
12. Attempt 35 new recipes
13. Keep a journal entire year of all my experiences I complete
14. 35 love notes
15. 35 community service activities
16. Watch 35 new movies (up for suggestions)
17. Try 35 new restaurants 
18. Walk/jog 35 miles monthly
19. Donate 35 pieces of clothing (it's sad how many items in my closet I never wear)
20. Phase flip flops out of my daily wardrobe (for those who know me......pray!)
21. Visit graves of my father and sister (still haven't been able to do this)
22. Weekend cabin tip to Gatlinburg
23. Try a new brunch spot monthly
24. Huge surprise for my mother
25. Apply for grad school
26. Take SOCRA exam (October is target date)
27. Teach my mother to use laptop and Internet (she has made progress,but has a long way to go)
28. Get cable again (now that I don't work as much antenna television is not enough)
29. Concert at a big venue (Janet Jackson in September)
30. Pay off my car early
31. Home ownership or new apartment (depends on my next career move)
32. Job promotion
33. Cut hair again (can't donate, but need to switch it up)
34. Be more social 
35. Just have fun!!!!!!