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Monday, February 29, 2016

So much inside me

I have been up since 2am with so much on my mind, so what do I do? I blog. It is has been a while since I posted on here and I have failed in my plan to write here more often, but glad when I do have the urge I have this space to let things out.

Recently I have been posting more on tumblr and posting my on my random thoughts blog which has helped a little, but not to the point of just saying what I feel and my thoughts. I think daily I realize more and more what I need to do and what I hope to get accomplished, but not ready to admit it to the world. 

Within the past few months I have verbally been able to say what has been on my mind and heart for a while. Some people say admit to yourself, I have been able to do that, but to admit to others? That was he hard part...not ready to admit to the world, but a couple of people who are closest to me know. It is a step in the right direction. Will it continue? Will I continue to deny it to some? I honestly don't know.

If you have followed my blog for a while you might I have an idea, you might assume. Why is it so easy to write the words that you can't say verbally? Why is it so easy to admit it behind the veil of social media and the Internet, but not to those who know and you assume love you? Why???

I think this is all I have for now. Just a little of what is going on in my head, my heart, my soul. You know what....


I love her

Just me and what I call my attempt to do a "sexy" selfie

Monday, November 2, 2015

I wanna love you

This title came to me while I was working on my Random Thoughts blog and figured since I had a block just go with it.

I do wanna love you, but it is not that simple. Last night I had convo with a cousin on why we won't work.....it hurts, but it is life. When two people have an attraction to each other but life just doesn't have it in the cards. I want love to be simple, I want love to be with you, but don't think it can happen.

Are you worth the risk? I really want to love you, all of you, but I can't.....

Sunday, October 11, 2015

National Coming Out Day

Well......I was supposed to write yesterday, but had too much to do and funny how I end up writing today.  This morning when browsing Facebook there was a picture that really irked me. I thought nothing of it until I began to read and catch up on my blogs. Today is National Coming Out day.  The picture I will not go into detail, but just got me to thinking....

I have always had this conversation in my head of should someone have to "come out" I mean. Do you have to make an announcement to the world that you are something other than heterosexual? I mean why can't you just love who you love? Why is it a big deal when someone comes out, or rather can people just be?

Also start to think about why people "stay in." The words I hear, the thoughts people have because they just don't understand or refuse to understand. I think about myself and what would I do, what do I do.....take that statement however you want.  The hypocrisy so many have when it comes to how they treat people once they found out they are not heterosexual.

So many thoughts on this subject and don't think it will ever be able to be captured in one post, but this is a start......

Saturday, September 26, 2015

That topic...

I thought about what I would write all week. I know the topic I should write about, but I don't know if I am redraft yet. Although very few people read my blog (if any) not sure if I am ready to share.

Ever think about the life you live? Is it you or are you living to please others? Are you being your true authentic self? These are questions I have been toying with for a while now. Don't have the answers and don't know where this train of thought will lead me. What I do know is that it is scary.

The topic.....it is in draft and maybe one day I will have the courage to write, but for this day even starting post is a step, small step, but a step.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

What do you really want in a relationship?

Saw the below meme today and I was like this sums it up. What we say we want and what we date usually don't correlate. I mean why can't we see this?


Saturday, September 12, 2015

Unlovable?

Having a rough week and the thought "am I lovable?" has crossed my mind several times and it is scary. I often wonder if someone will ever love me? Take me for me?

Don't know if this feeling will go away, but right now it is constant. Wish I could write more, wish I could verbalized more how this post came to be, but right now......I can't 

Saturday, September 5, 2015

It's just hair

I have recently started to get my hair done on a more regular basis and the reactions I have been getting have made me irritated. I mean it's just hair.  White people are fawning over it, black people keep saying if they had hair like mine. I mean rather her is curly or straight it is just hair.

I wish more people would appreciate their hair in whatever state it is. Straight, curly, afro, bobbed, shaved. It is all just hair.