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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Do Women really want a Thug???


This morning I was working out with my trainer and what was funny was that he brought up a topic that I had been having with one of my friends lately.  Standards in relationship and what you want in a mate. My trainer made the statement that a lot of women want a thug, someone who does not treat them right, someone who has no standards....

I begged to differ with him.  I explained to him, yes there are some women who like that, but I think there are a lot of women who don't want that and that are passed by because they do not fit this image that a man has created.  I have seen in so many settings...church, out to dinner with friends, club, bar, and other venues where men who say that want a "good" woman will gravitate to the woman who looks good, but may not have any other qualities that he ultimately wants in a mate. 

This past weekend a friend had a book discussion on Hill Harper's most recent book about relationships in the African American community. One major them that came up was where has "black love" gone or what is the true definition of "black love."  I did find it interesting that both men and women stated that they wanted a man or woman who can basically hold it down in the board room, but they know if they were put in a situation that needed that their mate would be a "thug" or a "ride or die chick." Now I don't disagree with that statement, but I don't think that should be a major requirement. Maybe I have lived a sheltered life and I am not saying things do not happen, but I do think you can avoid situations that need that type of person. Yes things happen in life that are unexpected, but somethings you don't have to experience by making the right choices.  I am 29 years old and I have never had the fear of being arrested, hemmed up in a situation that I think I might not a "thug" to handle business.  You understand?

What I want in a mate might be totally different that what most people want in a mate, but I do know that I do not want a bad guy, I do not want a guy that I am afraid to walk down the street with or be alone with, I do not want a guy that I can not take home to family and friends without being embarrassed.  With this being said....my trainer stated that most women want this....in my circle I find that not to be true. Most of my friends are cool, down to earth, nice, some are a little wild (in a good way), intelligent women....some are in relationships, some are married, some are single, but most do not want a thug in their life.

So my question, Do women really want a thug or do I live in a delusional world?

3 comments:

LC said...

No, you don’t live in a delusional world. Like you, I don’t want a thug. I also believe that most serious women don’t want a thug either. A thug is not going to make the cut in the standards that I have set. This is a great post.

S Jones Aka Shirley said...

I Think Thugs Are Overrated. I Had My "Bad Boy" And Honestly I Can Say It's Just A Phase Or An Experimental Type Of Thing. How Can You Honestly Think About Settling Down With A (example): Rapper. They Have No Degree And No Means To Get Them By If They Don't Make It As A "Rapper". How Can You Take Someone Serious If Your Family Can't Stand Them? Why Date A Bad Boy/Thug Who Will Potentially Hurt U In The End? No I Prefer Myself A Homebody/Bookworm Anyday Rather Than A Thug.

Also I Think When A Woman Reaches A Certain Age She's Not Thinking About Flings And Such...I Think As We Age We Look For More Mature Guys, And Men Who We Feel We Can Trust/Depend On

thegayte-keeper said...

Do they really?