Alone????

This post will be very random and might not make sense, but I am just letting out some frustrations and thoughts that I have been having over the past couple of weeks.  I have been going through a lot, more than I wish to share with most people...which causes a lot of my frustrations. Why are people so selfish and settle for mediocrity???

Has a convo with a friend last week and I became so irritated because he could not see my point of view.  I have issues with people...which might seem crazy, but let me explain.  I love people and I want to see the good in people, but guess what people continue to let me down. I do not expect people to be perfect, but some things to me are common sense (I know the saying if sense was so common everyone would have it...which they don't).  I am not perfect and I have my issues too, and I continue to work on them and I try not to justify them. If I am wrong....I am wrong.  Just like when a parent goes to a child after they have done something they were not supposed to do....9 times out of 10 that child knew what they were doing was wrong and they chose to do it anyway. I got off in a tangent...but like I said I really have no theme to what I am venting about right now.

What bothers me the most right now is I really want to cut myself off from people....because every time I interact on a personal level with people I get hurt. What is weird I love working with people.  I love to mentor, I love to interact with people and I love to help people.  What is crazy I am in the zone when I volunteer or mentor, but as soon as I have personal (or deep...not to say I don't get deep with mentoring, but they don't get to know me on that level) interactions with people I am always the giver and never the recipient, if that makes sense.  I am tired of trying, I am tired of giving people the benefit doubt and attempting to be understanding. It is sad when the people who hurt you the most or the people who claim to love you the most....the word love should be backed up with actions. 

Do I really think I can do this...no, but the thought has crossed my mind on several occasions.  One friend once made the statement that people make time for what they want to do...I am tired of people's excuses, I am tired of being run over and taken for granted.

People always come up with New Year's resolutions and like to start or stop things when the new year roles around. Don't know if this is a good or bad thing.  Most people do not continue the things for the long run...

I think I am done venting.  Back to work.  ARGHHHH!!!!

Totally random free flowing thoughts right now....

Don't know if anything I write makes sense...but just typing whatever comes to mind...might not go together at all...OH WELL!!!!


Okay...I am having a very bad case of the Mondays!!!! This morning I woke up at the butt crack of dawn like I usually do, but today I felt like doing nothing...I mean I got up and cooked, but go to work...really did not want to at all. Then everything at work is irritating the crap out of me. That is not good.

I get in moods where I get tired of a job and I hope I am not getting in that mood. I love what I do and love how I help people....but today for some reason I am very frustrated. I am not looking for a new job nor do I want a new job, but I just sometimes feel that there is more that I can do. I have so many things that I want to accomplish and sometimes I question if what I am doing is what I want to do for the rest of my life? I love my coworkers and boss (most of the time) but for some reason today I will do not want to be bothered with them.

I had a great relaxing weekend and wish it could have been longer...Oh well. What did I do this weekend???? NOTHING!!!! I don't get to do that that often which was great. Did things not get done, of course...I will do them later maybe throughout the week.

I tried these new products on my hair this weekend, Mixed Chicks. I think I really like them, although I am not mixed, my hair is naturally curly and it worked wonders!!!! The shop was out of it so they gave me samples...I am on call list when the new shipment comes in. Only one store in Nashville sales it, but fortunately it is around the corner from my place!!!





I vented about my job which I try not to do, never know who is reading, but oh well. Now I will vent about people that I mentor with. Some people just frustrate me so much...I can't and will not be over every project that is set forth...do I want it to be a mess, not but it is not my responsibility to oversee everything. I use to be like let me step in, but I will not. I do not think tonight will be a mess....but if it is I won't be surprised. Order??? Is that too much to ask.

I know I should not let people get to me that don't know any better, but is it my fault that you are slow functioning. Now I always check myself because my mom says I can be stuck up and look down on people....which is not true. I can be bougie (never thought the word was spelled right) but I think all people deserve respect, but stupidness should not be tolerated. Laziness is not acceptable??? I hate to see things that I am in charge of a mess and feel that everyone should feel the same way!!! Might be wrong about my feelings....working on it, but no one else has convinced me that I am wrong.

This Sunday at church the guy the plays the piano sounded so beautiful... He is on facebook and I so want to add him, but I do not know him like that. Some of my other friends have added him, but until we are introduced formally....I will not.

Okay....I think I am done typing my random thoughts....if the layout is jacked up I will try to correct it, not very good at this. This is me procrastinating at work...Luckily a friend and I are going out to lunch!!!!