Alone????

This post will be very random and might not make sense, but I am just letting out some frustrations and thoughts that I have been having over the past couple of weeks.  I have been going through a lot, more than I wish to share with most people...which causes a lot of my frustrations. Why are people so selfish and settle for mediocrity???

Has a convo with a friend last week and I became so irritated because he could not see my point of view.  I have issues with people...which might seem crazy, but let me explain.  I love people and I want to see the good in people, but guess what people continue to let me down. I do not expect people to be perfect, but some things to me are common sense (I know the saying if sense was so common everyone would have it...which they don't).  I am not perfect and I have my issues too, and I continue to work on them and I try not to justify them. If I am wrong....I am wrong.  Just like when a parent goes to a child after they have done something they were not supposed to do....9 times out of 10 that child knew what they were doing was wrong and they chose to do it anyway. I got off in a tangent...but like I said I really have no theme to what I am venting about right now.

What bothers me the most right now is I really want to cut myself off from people....because every time I interact on a personal level with people I get hurt. What is weird I love working with people.  I love to mentor, I love to interact with people and I love to help people.  What is crazy I am in the zone when I volunteer or mentor, but as soon as I have personal (or deep...not to say I don't get deep with mentoring, but they don't get to know me on that level) interactions with people I am always the giver and never the recipient, if that makes sense.  I am tired of trying, I am tired of giving people the benefit doubt and attempting to be understanding. It is sad when the people who hurt you the most or the people who claim to love you the most....the word love should be backed up with actions. 

Do I really think I can do this...no, but the thought has crossed my mind on several occasions.  One friend once made the statement that people make time for what they want to do...I am tired of people's excuses, I am tired of being run over and taken for granted.

People always come up with New Year's resolutions and like to start or stop things when the new year roles around. Don't know if this is a good or bad thing.  Most people do not continue the things for the long run...

I think I am done venting.  Back to work.  ARGHHHH!!!!