Joy

Saturday Morning Muses: Happy but sad

One thing that I struggle with so often is balancing happiness and sadness. So often I when I am sad I still have to be happy for my friends, which I am.  But it hurts sometimes.....my pain should not overshadow the joys of my friends.  Still trying to figure out that balance :-/.

40 Days of Thankfulness

Inspired by my best friend and a way of working on two things that I need to get better at.....blogging consistently and being thankful. I have decided to write a blog each of the next day for something I am thankful for.

I know a lot of people who give up things for lent, but this way I am adding something during this time. Something to remind me of everything that I have to be thankful for. The posts will be in no particular order, but just various things that I am truly thankful for. Some things will be serious, some light hearted, some might down right stupid.....but they will ALL be things I am thankful for.

I am excited about this task, and I do hope I follow through. I hope if you take time to read you might decide to do the same thing or just stop to think about what you are thankful for. So many times we focus on what we don't have or the tragedies in life, but we neglect to think about all that we do have and the happy moments in life. 

Also, I know the followers of this blog probably are like she really does not blog like she use to, I have noticed, and have said time and time again I was going to do better....each time I fail. I have let other people, work, and just the little things get in the way of something that I enjoy, something that helps me get out things that I can't always get out to people.....it was funny is recently I was having a meltdown moment with one of my guy friends and he suggested that I blog.....I was like I already do that (Not many of my person friends know about my blog and if they do they rarely read it). So to process a lot that is going in my mind and my hear right now blogging will be a great place to get those things out.....

Enjoy the ride!!!!!

Joy and Pain

This morning I woke up mad early and finally decided to write.  A lot has been going on....good and bad.  Sometimes I wonder do I over react or take things to seriously....I think not.

I started my new job and I love it. Yes I am going through the tedious training of all new jobs, but I love the reading (although it makes me sleepy sometimes) and the freedom I have.  One thing I don't like is clocking in and out. First full time job I have EVER had to do this. I guess it has is pluses because I can get overtime, but making sure you get your exact 40 hours, not being able to rand off your time, remembering to clock in and out for lunch can be a hassle.  The research that I have started working on is a new subject for me which is fascinating.  I have always worked with breast cancer research studies and this one is more general. I am looking forward to the new skills I am learning and will learn. 

Now on to the pain.  Has anyone ever said one statement that makes you question everything??? Or realize what you thought was reality is not??? This happened to me over the Thanksgiving holidays and I am still dealing with the after effects.  How can a person say they love you, but treat you like the step child that no one wants? How can a person say they care and understand and after you explain how you feel they don't acknowledge how they are wrong and do nothing to change?  If I tell you I hate when people do "A" why do you continue to do "A." If I tell you I am not doing well, yet you do nothing to help me is that love?  I am tired of attempting to explain, I am tired of playing games. You love me show it!!! 

I am doing better. The crying has slowed down, but the person still does not understand. I guess I expect them to do what I would do.  It will continue to get better. I will see the person to tomorrow, that will be the test. We will see what happens, but anyway it goes...I have to get better. I will be okay!!!

Loving Myself today!!!

By no means am I conceited, but I am confident. Today is one of those days where I just love being me!!! I tried new products on my hair and I am loving them. Check them out... Mixed Chicks!!! I am having a productive day at work. It is Vandy's homecoming weekend and I am actually going to be social. I have a job interview next week and might be able to work ONE job and keep the lifestyle that I love. I went to the doctor yesterday and my health is good! (not great...still got to lose some weight, working on it) Nothing will stop my joy and happiness today. My goal is to approach each day with this mindset. Life is too short and too great to do otherwise. Got to focus on the positives and let everything else go. God is good! Life is good! I am good!!!