I was talking with my aunt the other day and she just laughed at me about our conversation. Every time we get on the topic of relationships, unwed pregnancies, and topics like those she says every time that I think to logically about them when I try to process the actions of others. This got me to thinking about how I view things. I have a very, very unique perspective on relationships(rather not go into detail, shoot me an email or ask if you want to know more) and sometimes I wonder if that is why I think so logically about them...but then I think no, I just think logically about a lot of things in my life, it makes sense to me.
I have extreme views and do not apologize for them. Just how I feel. I do understand and know love is a feeling and emotion, but I also realize there is some logic to it. Any relationship you get in you are selfish...Your goal is to seek pleasure or enjoyment for yourself. I think you grow to be selfless and do things for the other person, but deep down in side you are still out for self. I think as the relationship grows and you grow to love a person you then think about them before you think about yourself....but this is not always. I think want key to life is self preservation, you can't help others unless you help yourself. When your whole life revolves pleasing another person then a relationship can become one sided.
I think when you love someone there is a process of thoughts and emotions that you go through. When you are getting to know someone you think about the qualities that this person possesses and if you like them or not. You think about if you enjoying spending time with this person and if they make you happy. You think about what time of relationship you both share. Now I think people even more think about what type of power couple you will be. You look for someone that can compliment you...not complete you, I hope you are whole already. So many state they have requirements when it comes to a person they will date...this might be a short or long list, but they are things that help a person decide if they are going to be with a person. To me...these are all logical choices. You think about about all of these above things and decide if you want to be with a person or not.
I do feel emotions play a part, but I think love is a choice and hopefully you can control your emotions. If you make decisions completely off of emotions then I think your emotions you can take you in the wrong directions sometimes...a lot of times. Most people might not agree with me, but I believe love is a choice. You choose who you allow in your inner space, you choose who you open up to, you choose who you allow to get to know you...this all leads to getting to know someone with the hopes of one day you might fall in love. Emotions can blind you to the obvious at times and make you think you are in love and honestly you are in lust. Emotions together with logic and choices lead to a relationship.
I can go on and on about this topic, but it would take forever. I wrote this blog to just talk about what I am contemplating....logical love. I think some ways everybody loves logically if they want to admit it or not...
3 comments:
I'm with you on this. I tend to think logically about everything. and my views on love and relationships definitely are logical. Thats the only way i know how to think. Unfortunately, decisions based purely on emotions tend to be wrong decisions.
You're right about peoples' motivation when it comes to relationships. What can we get from the situation, and to go even further, while giving up as little as possible. Its true. If someone came to any one of us seeking a relationship and they didnt want anything from us but to be able to listen to us, buy us stuff, entertain us and help us reach our goals...JACKPOT!
My views are definitely far from the center and are so rouge at times, I have to bleed them over into my radio show. With that being said, let me say that although people know (or should know) what love is, we still would rather do it our way...the selfish way as you stated earlier.
I think I'm officially rambling, so...I'm gone!
Great post
You actually made a LOT of sense here, my Sista. There were some parts I read, which, at first, I was like, NAH! She's wrong. But actually, you're not.
Self-preservation really IS the key to our very existence. Even something as vital as love for another comes in second (if that!).
Most of us are emotional beings. And because of this, people who operate from a place of logic are sometimes seen as cold, pragmatic or unfeeling. In actuality, they are just smart. They see things from a broader perspective, which is usually more reality based.
Emotions can get us in deep trouble because they are placed upon our hearts and our passions. Logic takes the time to listen, to THINK, to examine, to investigate, to see clearer, & more clinically.
Methinks a healthy combination of both works best. But in a pinch, Logic makes more sense.
Snatch JOY (if that's logical)!
*smiles*
One.
Lin
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