Sunday, July 5, 2009

He Loves Me....He Loves Me Not???

Why can't I get him out my head? I mean I love him, but what type of love that is I am really not sure about. I mean I know he loves me, but does he love me in that way? If he were able to tell me he loves me, would I be able to tell him I love him in that way too? I sometimes feel that I am delusional.

I see him as a friend, a brother, someone I can depend on. But when so many people assume that we will end up together it makes you think. I think sometimes I succumb to people ideas in my head and I begin to wonder. Are my thoughts that we can be more than friends because people assume that our friendship is more than what it is? I have become a person who never says never, and I am learning to expect anything. He is my boy, my friend, my brother, he knows almost as much as my best friend knows about me, but why?

I ask myself why are we friends frequently. I ask why do we continue to remain friends even though we live in different circles. But when we kick it as friends it is all good. Is it my imagination? Am I holding on to a friendship that needs to be let go? He loves me and will do anything for me, but is this out of history or love? Does he feel obligated to be there for me, because I count on him when times are hard? I wonder if he was a female would our friendship be the way it is?

I really just needed to vent these thoughts in my head. I honestly do not know the answer to any of the questions that I pose. I just wanted to get them out of my head, because I can not express them to others right now. I almost deleted post, because I thought someone I know might read it, but honestly...I doubt it, and if they do, oh well.

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