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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Why?????


Why do I continue to do this to myself??? I worry and fret over the things that I have no control over.  I need to just relax and let things happen.  Two things in my life right now are up in the air....but honestly what can I do? I can get an answer sooner, I can't worry about the outcome, I just have to continue to live life and if it happens....it happens.

I always do this to myself and I hate when I do it.  I had to stop in blog about it to process it out because I am really stressing myself out.  I mean it is becoming hard for me to focus at work, I am contemplating some things that I never thought I would contemplate, and I am crying when there is no need to. 

I have these emotions and feelings that I can't express and it is killin me!!!! I mean I keep asking myself why do this to myself? I am learning to be patient and learning to wait....it is hard.  What is sad is I know the outcome....the question is when will it happen, and I think to me that is worse.  It is like knowing you are about to give birth.  You know the baby will be born and closer to the date you are like is today the day?  How much longer do I have to wait?

I think I have written enough to calm me down and hopefully I can focus for the last hour of my main job.  I have to remain focused and get myself together!!!! Hopefully I will have answers soon.

2 comments:

thegayte-keeper said...

Why? It is a natural part of life...

Reggie said...

Whether we acknowledge that it's natural or not, I think that most of us spend entirely too much time worrying about the things that we have no control over.

I do it.

I spent most of last night thinking about something that I couldn't change, rather than getting some much needed sleep.

I wish I could turn that part of me that worries about stuff like that off, but I can't. I suppose that speaks to the human touch.

It is what it is.