Am I Appreciated????

This morning I woke up and read some interesting news....at first I was like cool, but then I was like what a minute.  I have very few friends in my life because it takes a lot for me to trust someone.  I think I can be loyal to a fault and I truly value the friendship I have, but.....I really do feel like I am being taken for granted. I do not expect people to be perfect, but I do expect people to show friendship back.  Sometimes they do.....sometimes they don't and when they don't it really irritates me. Sometimes I just wish that people appreciated you more.

I do not do things for recognition, but I do believe that people should know that their are valued. Saying you love me and that I am a great friend is different than showing me that I am appreciated for the love you have for me and the friendship we have. I feel I keep going in this cycle of rejection and being let down.  One person said that you should not have expectations of people because they will always let you down....and I think that is a sad way to look at people and life. I am not asking people to be perfect, but just to care. 

One time I was having a heated venting convo with one of my friends and I made the statement that sometimes I feel if I were to just disappear tomorrow....I would not be missed. I hate to think like that sometimes, but that is how I feel.  I get tired of explaining myself and looking out for other people when they don't do the same back.  Are people that selfish?

I don't know....thinking about making more changes in the new year, but we shall see. 

Don't want to end year off with a sad blog, so might have to write something silly later....we shall see ;-)