- My pastor says....
- Bishops says....
- Whoever says....
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I always do this to myself and I hate when I do it. I had to stop in blog about it to process it out because I am really stressing myself out. I mean it is becoming hard for me to focus at work, I am contemplating some things that I never thought I would contemplate, and I am crying when there is no need to.
I have these emotions and feelings that I can't express and it is killin me!!!! I mean I keep asking myself why do this to myself? I am learning to be patient and learning to wait....it is hard. What is sad is I know the outcome....the question is when will it happen, and I think to me that is worse. It is like knowing you are about to give birth. You know the baby will be born and closer to the date you are like is today the day? How much longer do I have to wait?
I think I have written enough to calm me down and hopefully I can focus for the last hour of my main job. I have to remain focused and get myself together!!!! Hopefully I will have answers soon.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
This is one of my favorite songs of all times. I am a huge Out of Eden fan and this was one of the songs that got me hooked on their music. This song got me through some hard times in college and still helps me get through some things today. If you just listen to the words and the melodies the song really says something.
I am hitting a critical point in my life and really making some difficult decisions in my life. To others they might not seem big, but to me they are. It could determine where I see my life in a few years, my career, my family, and my friends. I have been praying and thinking a lot lately and I do think I am coming to a conclusion or the begining of what direction I am going....only God knows what is in store and I am excited about what is going to happen and what is happening.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Today twitter has been down ALL morning....Now this has caused a problem....It has forced me to be more productive at work...HOW RUDE!!!!
This morning I deleted my myspace page which I have had for several years. A couple of days ago I deleted my blackplanet page which I have had since FRESHMAN year of college....that has been ages!!!! I remember the various other sites I have used in the past...collegeclub, friendster, classmates, and a few more, but now I use none of them.
What did we do before all of these social networking sites???
This is the question I have asked myself lately. I guess we actually did work. I mean all of these sites started while I was in college, but I can only imagine the distraction it would have been if they were as big then as they are big now. I know for a while my current job blocked facebook and that caused me to be more productive...not to say I am not productive now, but I know I spend more time on facebook than I should. I am thankful for the option of letting select people see that you are online (my boss is a friend on facebook...she is cool, but don't want to push it).
When my internet goes down at work I am lost (not literally, but you get my drift). So much of my work is research and looking up stuff and journals online when it goes down I am screwed...a blackberry can only do so much. Then I can't communicate through my social networking sites...not cool!!
One time I tried to go one week without checking facebook....it lasted a couple of days. I think it is a mjor way that people communicate now. I think about my blogger page and my google reader that manages my blogs I read (my job is bootleg and blocks sites...reader allows me to read the blocked sites) it is one site that I think if I tried to give up for a week it would be crazy!!! This morning when I woke up I had 40 blogs to read and that is just from about 5 hours of sleep...Imagine if I took off for a week and did not catch up on my blogs.
I was hearing about a spa or vacation resort out west that takes your blackberry and cell phone when you check in. Can you imagine no communication via email, cell phone or networking sites??? What is sad a few years ago that is how we lived.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Guess what post this is??? Yesterday was a bad day for me, but I am determined to make this day a better one....so far so good. Since this is my 100th post I really have no idea what to write about. I looked back at my first post on August 31, 2007...that seems like it was forever ago. I have done this blog thing off and on since then, but have become more consistent with it over the past year.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I had a post I really wanted to put up today, but could not find the strength to finish it. Not having a very good day...I do not like when I get moods like this. I am realizing people have to admit when they are in these moods...I can't be happy and cheery all the time.
I hope I get out of this funk soon. I know what I want to do....but I know I should not do it. I know who I want to call....but I know I really don't need to talk to that person right now. I am in one of those moods where I am tired of doing the right thing and really want to do the wrong thing...I have to resist temptation.
That is all I have to say for now...I do hope tomorrow will be better
Monday, October 5, 2009
Okay...I am having a very bad case of the Mondays!!!! This morning I woke up at the butt crack of dawn like I usually do, but today I felt like doing nothing...I mean I got up and cooked, but go to work...really did not want to at all. Then everything at work is irritating the crap out of me. That is not good.
I get in moods where I get tired of a job and I hope I am not getting in that mood. I love what I do and love how I help people....but today for some reason I am very frustrated. I am not looking for a new job nor do I want a new job, but I just sometimes feel that there is more that I can do. I have so many things that I want to accomplish and sometimes I question if what I am doing is what I want to do for the rest of my life? I love my coworkers and boss (most of the time) but for some reason today I will do not want to be bothered with them.
I had a great relaxing weekend and wish it could have been longer...Oh well. What did I do this weekend???? NOTHING!!!! I don't get to do that that often which was great. Did things not get done, of course...I will do them later maybe throughout the week.
I tried these new products on my hair this weekend, Mixed Chicks. I think I really like them, although I am not mixed, my hair is naturally curly and it worked wonders!!!! The shop was out of it so they gave me samples...I am on call list when the new shipment comes in. Only one store in Nashville sales it, but fortunately it is around the corner from my place!!!
I vented about my job which I try not to do, never know who is reading, but oh well. Now I will vent about people that I mentor with. Some people just frustrate me so much...I can't and will not be over every project that is set forth...do I want it to be a mess, not but it is not my responsibility to oversee everything. I use to be like let me step in, but I will not. I do not think tonight will be a mess....but if it is I won't be surprised. Order??? Is that too much to ask.
Okay....I think I am done typing my random thoughts....if the layout is jacked up I will try to correct it, not very good at this. This is me procrastinating at work...Luckily a friend and I are going out to lunch!!!!
Friday, October 2, 2009
One of my mentors is a celibate monk, and he says we can live without sex but we can't live without love. And there are a lot of people who have a lot of sex and never experience love, and people who never have sex [but] have deep experiences of intimacy and love.