Treat me like a queen...You will be treated like a king

I was thinking this past week about relationships and interactions between men and women. I was about to write a blog entitled I Have to Learn NOT to Love Him, but stopped, not to say it might not be written in the future, but it is on pause. I try not to be a man basher because there are so many wonderful men out there. I did begin to think about how I would like to be treated in a relationship and how I would treat my partner....that is how the title developed.

I think so many men and women can give it but can't take it. What I mean by that is women have all these demands for a man, but they bring nothing to the table. You say a man has to do a,b,c,d.....z, but he asks you for one thing and you flip. Men want all these things out of a woman and she asks you for one thing and you flip. I think each person has to have realistic expectations of each other.

I think each person should value each other and want to uplift each other and compliment each other. If he shows me that he loves me by his actions, his words, his essence I can do nothing but do the same toward him. I will have his back, I will be there for him when the world is against him, I will make sure that his home is at peace when he is going through hell at work. I think sometimes a man just needs to know that you are there for him through the good, the bad, the ugly. I will be the woman he grew to love and not change because I have become complacent with him. I will show him that he can be whatever he wants to be and I will be there to help. With this being said...he should do the same for me. He should encourage me in my dreams, he should listen to me, he should have my back when I am having a bad day, he should continue to be the man that I fell in love with. I have to give him no reason to look elsewhere and he needs to do the same.

I can go into so many more details...but that is saved for that special person whenever he shows up, but if he treats me like a queen....he will mos def be treated like the king that he is.

My Dad

I have been struggling to write this blog for some time now. I have had so many things on my mind and honestly it has taken me a while to figure out where to begin. This might be the most personal blog I have written because I am revealing things that I have revealed to no one. When I think about it I have not revealed them to anyone because no one really takes the time to listen. This blog is about...my dad. Wish I could put a pic of him up, but do not have any digital ones or recent pics that I can post.

My dad died a little over a year ago and I have never really talked to anyone about his death. People just assumed that I was ok about it, but honestly I still wrestle with it to this day. See my dad although I love him, he was a man with issues. When I look back over my life I knew he loved me, but he loved one thing more...liquor. As a child I think adults tried to shield this from me, until it got beyond shielding. The numerous rehabs, the losing of his job, the DUIs, and illnesses. As a child and even as an adult I use to think if he loved me he would let the liquor go...but it was not that simple. He was a great dad in his own way, but the last 10 years of his life the alcohol consumed him and pretty much led to his death.

Can I say me and my dad were on speaking terms...no. I remember the last time I saw him. July 1, 2007. I went to see my grandmother and he stumbled out the house. He looked a mess. He was shocked to see me and I was shocked to see him. He asked how I was doing and I did the same to him. We both said I love you and he went inside. I did not ever think that would be my last time seeing him. Before that we spoke rarely, only saw each other on holidays, and I only got updates on him when he was in the hospital or when I called relatives.

I always think about did he think about me? Did he really want to quit but couldn't? Why wouldn't he give up the alcohol for me? Did he even love me? These are just a few of the questions I had in my mind and sometimes they still go though my mind.

I did finally get a revelation about my dad. The man that was consumed by alcohol was not my dad, or at least the dad that I want to remember. My dad was a good man and tried his best. He accomplished so many things in his life although he only had a high school diploma. He was a loving father, he provided the best way he knew how, and he tried to be there for me. Although my dad died when I was 27, he was consumed by alcohol since I was 16, I still have 16 years worth of good (and bad...he was not perfect) memories. I loved my dad...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I am not My Hair!!!!

Ok...Today as I was going to work a guy who I speak to in passing got the realization that my hair was actually mine and then said he thought I had weave....I was like are you serious??? For someone to ask me that I was actually shocked, because what if it was weave. I love my hair, it is a part of me, but it is not who I am. Sometimes it looks gorgeous...and other days....a hot mess!!! I am quick to say if you have hair it is good. People are quick to say"If I had your hair..." and I am like if you had my hair you would feel the same way I do...it is just hair. It grows, it gets nappy, it falls out, it itches, it looks good, it looks bad, it sweats, it gets wavy, and so many other things. I wrote this to say...fall up off the hair...it is just hair!!!

I am a Woman....and I can't do it all!!!

Okay I finally decided to write this post. This might be a long post and you might not get the title to the end, but I have to get some things off my chest. Just my opinions and thoughts, you don't have to agree...just had to vent. I have more on my mind, but I will try to keep it condensed. I think I will do an outline as I write so that people can have an idea of my thought flow...If you make it through the whole blog...impressive!!!

1. Why I support Obama
2. Democrat vs. Republican
3. Christians vs. Evangelicals
4. DNC vs. RNC
5. John McCain
6. Sarah Palin
7. Finally Back to my title....I am Woman...and I can't do it all!!!

Why I support Obama

Yes, I am an Obama supporter, No I have not drank the kool-aid like so many people say. Obama's policies for improving America I love, the way he talks about personal responsibility is great, the fact that he inspires me and shows me that if I can work hard I can do whatever I want to is amazing, the fact that he is an example of black love and a great father to his wife and daughters is inspiring, and yes he speaks about hope and change and I believe it!!! I can go on and on about why I support him, but these are just a few reasons. No I don't think he is perfect, no human is, but he is doing this for his country...not for his own personal career (as some people like to say). He is willing to admit his mistakes and learn from them. He thinks about what he does before jumping the gun and I love his judgement. To me...he exemplifies what a leader should be.

Democrat vs. Republican

I can honestly admit that until this recent election I have not been a big follower of politics. I do vote and value my right to vote and I think everyone should understand the process. I have had conversations with a few people on why they are democrat and why they are a republican and they have been interesting...not hateful, not name calling, but a difference of opinion. I can be thankful to Aaron for explaining to me the differences and why he changed from being a democrat to a republican. The main difference in my eyes is big government versus little government...I can feel it theory, but not in practice. I do think the government should help the people and the country and sometimes that does call for big government. I love to help the people and yes I love the social programs that the government funds. I do think they should be productive and if the programs are not working they need to be revamped, but I don't think we should just get rid of them. Do I want to pay more taxes...no, but if it is to help my country, if it is to ensure good education for our youth, if the money is used wisely...I understand. I work...I work hard, but I know a lot of the programs and a lot of the reasons with this country has so many of the things that it has is because of my taxes...I am thankful. Yes I am a democrat, and yes I have voted for a republican before, but these are just a few of my views.

Christians vs. Evangelicals

This is a topic that irritates me a lot. Since it has come up a lot in politics a had to express my opinion. I am a Christian...follower of Christ. I am not ashamed and I am not perfect. We all fall short. This has been a walk for me and I have had good and bad times, but I know what I have been through has all been for my good. Some of the major things that I have gotten from my faith are love, forgiveness, and being nonjudgmental (still working on this one...as the song says I am not where I aught to be, but thank God I am not what I use to be). Me and my white grandmother, Miss Ju Ju, were having this convo the other day. She calls herself an evangelical, but she understands and walks in faith and love...and she is a supporter of Obama...even when she usually votes republican. To me she shows the love of Christ to everyone she meets...and ask anyone they see it in her and love her. Yes...I do have extreme views on several issues, but I am learning not to press my views on other people, like I said it was a walk...some people are not on the same walk that I am, some people are walking the same walk, but they have not got as far as I have, and some people have gotten further than I have...part of life. I believe we should respect each other's faith... Yes we are supposed to go out and teach the nations, but I do not feel that we have to cram it down people's throats. Would I have an abortion...no, but I am pro-choice...the government should not tell me what to do with my body. My goal is to not have sex until I am married....but do believe in Sex education for our kids in which all forms of protection need to be taught..abstinence, birth control, and condoms (might be more, but those are main). How can a person be pro-life, but for the death penalty...just my opinion. I have said these few things to say my opinions, not to force you, but just to say some of my views as a Christian not an Evangelical.

DNC vs. RNC

I watched both...it was hard, but I did. When I watched the DNC...I saw America, I saw love, I saw what I wanted this great country to be. You saw diversity and people who were happy to be an American, a part of the political process, a part of history. The speakers talked about change. They showed the difference it what each political party was campaigning on. Did they bash Bush, yes, but on what he has done, not his character. Barack's speech was historical, inspiring, and policy. He explained what he wants to see for this country...Loved it!! Michelle...cried, she is so what I want to be when I grow up. Now on to the RNC...so not feeling it and fell asleep most nights. A looked at the audience and all I saw....white men. I think one night CNN made it a point to put the camera on all the black people in the audience, but that still was only a few. All the speeches I heard were not policy driven, did not say what they wanted to do for the country and did not inspire me at all. Sarah Palin's speech...pure scripted hate...not cool. McCain's speech was boring and he tried, but no success. He really did not tell me anything but his biography. He tried to be bipartisan, but after all the partisanship before...even he is fighting for it I really don't trust the rest of them. Just my thoughts....

John McCain

The Maverick...as I read about his policies, as I watch the news, as I hear his life's story I have mixed opinions. I think he is a hero and a survivor. I think he means well...but not enough to be the leader of my country. Yes he was POW...wow...I couldn't do it, but that does not make you qualified to be president. He loves his country(only after being a POW...this was not put on media like Michelle's comment that was miss quoted) which is a testimony in itself, but that does not make you qualified to be president. He graduated at the bottom of his class (I am one to talk, my GPA was not great either, but I am trying to run the country). In his CNN Revealed special it is constantly shown how he lived a wild life and did not care, yes he was young, but not feeling it. He cheated on his wife even after she waited on him while he was a POW and he admits it was because of her changing physically after her accident amongst other things. He does not inspire me and honestly I do not trust his judgement. He says he is not like Bush...but I don't see how. Look at how he is voted, look at his academic record, look at his political party...just some things i have noticed. McCain might love his country...but I don't think I want him as our president.

Sarah Palin

Or should I say a pit bull with lipstick. She scares me...A LOT!!!! When she got up to speak I was like, Are you serious??? She talked about nothing, she read her given speech (most of which was written even before she was picked), she gave women a bad name. She is calling sexism...no, she is a VP candidate is getting talked about like everyone else has been in this political process. People...I am sorry, republicans are energized by her...energized by hate? She said nothing but cliches and one liners. To me all I have seen is a puppet...She was picked because she was a woman...end of story. What can she bring to the White House...the next generation of the Jerry Springer Show. The more that the media finds out about her the more she makes me scared...and remember she already scares me...A LOT!!!! 5 colleges in 6 years(one website says 6)....I can see 2...maybe even 3...but 5(or 6) and she only has a B.S. in Journalism(oh...and a minor in political science). I am not against the working woman, but you have a 4 month old down syndrome baby and a 17 year old pregnant teenager...to me home and family comes first and I would be saying this if she was a man or a woman. I saw her speaking somewhere on Friday....scripted once again and nothing but cliches and hate, unless she was talking about John McCain and then he was a god. She gives women a bad name...and women are voting for her because she is a woman...hot mess!!!

I am a Woman....and I can't do it all!!!

Finally back to my title. As I look at the Palin family I am trying not to judge(said I was working on it), but I am trying to understand. I was talking to my mother and she brought up the question how does this woman do it??? My answer she does not. My mom and dad were married, both worked and had 2 children. Those of you who know my sister had cerebral palsy and was confined to a wheel chair. My mom was a teacher/guidance counselor and my dad was a computer programmer of the Post Office. They worked and spent time with us and loved us, but they both had help. My Aunt Mary walked me to school, helped get my sister on the bus, had dinner ready for us when we got home, and helped clean. My grandmothers helped too. There is no way my parents could have done all they did without their help. My mom was there for me she picked me up from school, went to school events, she was there when I needed her, but she admits it was hard. Sarah Palin has 5 kids and one with special needs...how is she doing it...she is not. There is no way you can tell me these kids are getting the love and attention they need from their mother...this is important especially in their formative years(or months...for some of her kids). I am single have 2 jobs, volunteer, and I try to have fun...it is hard. I can't even imagine doing that with a husband and kids to take care of(one day Lord, one day). I am not saying a woman has to stay at home, but I do think when mothers (and fathers) put their career ambitions before their kids lives that causes a problem. Children need to be nurtured and loved, they need attention. If Sarah Palin becomes the VP of the United States (please don't let this happen...register people to vote and make sure they go out and vote) what is going to happen to her family. If she has to be in Iraq and her children have a doctor's appointment what will she do? If the president has a press conference and her teenagers need help applying to college who will help them? When she has to pick between her family and a press conference...what will she do? Yes, Barack has small kids and he has showed how he has balanced everything. He has Michelle his wife who was leery of leaving her kids to campaign...thank God for Michelle's mother. Barack talks about how he spends time with his wife and his kids and how he makes sure they have the attention they need. Sarah Palin...talks about events for her kids. I do believe our powerful and strong and can do whatever they point their minds too, but we can not do it all (not to say men can, they have help to).

Okay...I am through venting... if you made it through my whole blog, bless ya and thank ya! I just had to get some things out. I have so much more on my mind...but I think this will do for now. Some thoughts may be random...but that is me...got to love it!!!Feel free to comment :)