Friday, December 31, 2010

Am I Appreciated????

This morning I woke up and read some interesting first I was like cool, but then I was like what a minute.  I have very few friends in my life because it takes a lot for me to trust someone.  I think I can be loyal to a fault and I truly value the friendship I have, but.....I really do feel like I am being taken for granted. I do not expect people to be perfect, but I do expect people to show friendship back.  Sometimes they do.....sometimes they don't and when they don't it really irritates me. Sometimes I just wish that people appreciated you more.
I do not do things for recognition, but I do believe that people should know that their are valued. Saying you love me and that I am a great friend is different than showing me that I am appreciated for the love you have for me and the friendship we have. I feel I keep going in this cycle of rejection and being let down.  One person said that you should not have expectations of people because they will always let you down....and I think that is a sad way to look at people and life. I am not asking people to be perfect, but just to care. 

One time I was having a heated venting convo with one of my friends and I made the statement that sometimes I feel if I were to just disappear tomorrow....I would not be missed. I hate to think like that sometimes, but that is how I feel.  I get tired of explaining myself and looking out for other people when they don't do the same back.  Are people that selfish?

I don't know....thinking about making more changes in the new year, but we shall see. 

Don't want to end year off with a sad blog, so might have to write something silly later....we shall see ;-)

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A lot Better!

Guess what I got right before the holidays!!!! My new car!!! If you follow me on twitter you already knew, but I just have not had time to do a blog post.  I am loving it!!! Still having issues with the insurance company, but hopefully they will get resolved soon.

Things are turning around since the holidays. Had a great time with the family and got to see some friends I had not seen in a while.  Operation Death of Fat Girl died over the holidays....but she is experiencing a resurrection. Got my workout on this morning!!! If I really want to walk the half marathon in April got to get to it!

I have had a lot of things on my mind lately from selfishness, to redemption, to mistakes, to accountability, to.....just a whole bunch of stuff. Will be blogging about it in the next few days, hopefully, depending on work, might get one out today.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and has great plans to bring in the New Year!!!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Not My Fault

This is how I feel right now. If you follow me, you all know I was in a car accident at the beginning of November. This has been a headache from the beginning. I was not at fault in the accident, but everything is falling on me. My car was totaled out, my neck, my back, and my leg experienced a lot of pain and I had to go to the doctor and the chiropractor for a while (just gone done with that) and I am the one having to buy a new car (with a car note) and do all the leg work.

I have become very frustrated with this whole situation and it has sent my holiday mood into a funk and that is not good. Everyday I attempt to blog....but I can't finish. Everyday I am on the phone with insurance companies, car dealers, doctors, attorneys (long story), and banks.  I finally picked out a car and it should be here by the end of the year(prayerfully). 
I am just tired and emotionally drained. The other person's car was fine, her car just lost a little paint, her car did not spin around and go in the opposite direction.  I am trying not to be bitter and focus on the positives, but the negatives keep popping up.

I have to remind myself, that I am alive, once the insurance situation is taken care of I have the money to purchase a new car, I have the mind and knowledge to deal with everything.  I just get frustrated!!!

I think I am done. Off to finish some work and then out to lunch with old coworkers.  Tis the season! Have eaten out for lunch everyday this week for free! Wonder if the streak will continue today????

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Work, Life, Car Shopping!

Okay, my life has been CRAZY and blogging has not been in the schedule...and the passed couple of days tweeting has been a minimal also. I don't know what is going on and try to get caught up with life and work.

If you follow my blog you know I was in a car accident in November and my car was totalled out :-( Well now I have to find a new car.  A car not was so not in the budget and that is not cool, but God has blessed me with a part time gig that will help offset the cost of a new car. I have a couple of cars on the radar, but the Jeep Patriot is standing out to me right now.....

We shall see, I have found a used one, but the new ones might be in my price range since it is the end of the year. Was going to go look today, but once again, work is keeping me late :-(.

I will definitely do a post once I have picked out my car!

Day 30: Another self portrait


Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 29: An action shot

Close to an action shot as I could find....was in DC all yesterday and trying to get back too life......

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Day 28: A before & after shot of anything

Of my hair....taken a while ago, but still have same issues, eventhough it is short now. 

Monday, December 6, 2010

Day 27: Something that gives you purpose

Mentoring! I love the kids! Picture from our retreat this weekend. The girls were cooking lunch! (We try to teach them how to cook!)

This Weekend

This weekend I organized a weekend retreat for the girls and mentors that I work with.  We had a blast! The girls had bonding time they got to pig out on food and just have good clean fun.  We rented a vacation home in Lieper's Fork, TN and it was GORGEOUS!!! See.....

They want to make this an annual event.....we shall see. I know next time I can't plan all on my own (not my choice).  That was one reason I have not blogged or posted pics for the photo challenge lately.I am trying to be more consistent with my posts, but been ripping and running the past week and I have not had time.

Next weekend's project is to find a car.....I HATE car shopping. Hope everyone starts the week off great!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day 26: Where you go to relax/get away

Centennial Park! This is the view from my office building. I love to just sit in read when I have time....which is a rarity.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Never been tested....

Do you know what today is???? If you have been online, facebook, or twitter you should know that it is World AIDs Day. Friends have changed their avatars, they have posted links, blogs, and videos of what you should get tested today.  I have even done so....but one of my last tweets I said this:

really wants to post something....but people might take it the wrong way

Was going to post on twitter, then I decided to blog about it because I would have the give an explanation.

Every year I post that people should get tested, that people should know their status and so on, but guess what....I have never been tested. I have always had this debate in my mind should I or shouldn't I.....

Some may call me a hypocrite, some might say I am crazy, but if you follow my blog you might know why I am none of the above. Honestly I have debated about being tested, but why should I?  Something I have posted on my blog is that I am virgin and plan on staying that way until married.   All the behaviors that I have seen listed on how you can get it....done none of that.

Will I ever get tested...yes, but right now I have not. One of my friends on facebook stated that she gets tested every year even though she is married and her doctor laughs, but she knows if she gets something she knows who gave it to her. This will probably be my mentality one day.

You might read this and disagree with my thought process, I am open for opinions....not judgment.  I believe that everyone should know their status and AIDS should be taken seriously and there needs to be a cure found. As I read the various posts today from people attempting to raise awareness about the disease it is a disease that affects so many people and it is a disease that can be prevented.

If you think I am wrong, let me know. I go back and forth every year, but my thought process is....when I go to the doctor (which I am doing now....I am afraid of doctors) I am not going to have me test for everything I could have just because people say I should.

Day 25: Self portrait myspace-esque

Okay....this is how my teenagers take pictures and most of them still have myspace pages.....and are migrating over to facebook. This is an AWFUL pic, but I did it.

Oh....holidays got in the way, but I am back!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Day 24: Something you find funny

Picture of a car I took a while ago...I find this funny because the driver actually did this on purpose!

Who inspires you?

Last Friday my mother called me and informed me that me first elementary school principal had died in a car accident. An 18 wheeler hit her head on.  This shook me up more than I thought. What also bothers me was that I found out that she was at my grandmother's funeral and I didn't even get to see or speak to her.  When I heard the news of her death it made me think about who she was in my life. She was a church member, mom's sorority sister, family friend, and a role model. I remember vividly the one time I got in a fight in elementary school and how she spoke to me and how I was punished. The fact that she knew my mom that came up in the speech to me "what would your mother think?" Already knowing that my mother had been called and was on her way to pick me and a butt whopping is waiting for me when I got home.

This was a story I remembered about her growing up, but now as I am an adult I also begin to thing about the influence she had on my as a child. She was a black woman with poise, elegance, and authority, a woman I inspire to be.  She set an example for a lot of young girls to see, considering at the time the school was in the "hood" and girls might not have seen those types of role models in their home. Although I might not have realized it then, I know now that many of the women and men that I saw growing up have been inspirations to me.

From my aunt Mary who didn't have a high school education, but was an avid reader and a lady of faith. She worked hard every day and loved unconditionally.  To Mr. Branch who was the first music teacher I ever had in school and who ended up being my piano teacher in later years, showed me a love for music that continues to this day. To Ms. Yancy at my church who served faithfully who had a humbleness about her that still inspires me. Although we had few interactions when we did interact it left an impression. To Ms. Thompson my first Sunday school teacher, who did not look at my crazy in my first day of Sunday school when I asked her what was before in the beginning (always been a person who asks a lot of questions). To my grandmother who had a Master's degree from college when most black people were not even going to college. Or Professor Troxel my ONLY female college professor in the school of engineering while I was at Vanderbilt. She was not "stiff" like most of my professors were, you could tell she was a wife, a mother, a friend, AND a great engineer. She had a love for what she did and she balanced it well. Or Mrs. JuJu, as I like to call her, she has the loving title of my "white grandmother." Her life of faith and how she has lived her life financially responsibly (hard to put in words) has showed me so much. From loving others, to budgeting, and how to learn from our struggles.

I could probably go on and on and on about the people who have inspired me. There have been so many, and I take grains from all of them. They have helped shape me into who I have become today.  I am not perfect, but a work in progress....I grow daily and seek inspiration in everyone I encounter.....even the homeless people I buy papers from on my way to work, they have a story and they too give me inspiration.

So I pose this question to you.....Who inspires you?

Side note.....I have been in a funk lately....but I am really back this time, will write about later.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Day 23: Go some where you’ve never been & take a picture

Hadn't been here in a office copy room.  Had to take a picture of something. Will do better tomorrow.

Been in a Funk

Since being in a car accident last week I have truly been in a serious funk. I have done basically nothing. Luckily I had deep cleaned my apartment a week before so it was not too messy. I have not even been able to post the photo challenge posts...and those are easy.

I love blogging and it lets me get things out, but lately I have not had the desire to do that....even though I needed to let some things out.  I am slowly recovering from my accident. Gone to doctor and now going to chiropractors, which is helping. My neck still hurts and I am having some issues with my leg, but when I look back over how sever the accident could have been...I am blessed!

I am going to slowly get back into blogging and my life this week. I have to find a new car, which I am not excited about because the old one was paid for.  Hopefully I can get something reliable that is used, but I want to step up. Had a sentra which was a great car, but I am older now and wanted something a little bigger, maybe even an altima, we shall see.

I will post photo challenge pic next....not exactly what the topic is, but it gets me back into blogging mode.

I am thankful to be able to write and vent. Yes I have been in a funk, and the picture above describes how I felt last week, but hopefully by the end of the week things will look on the up and up!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Not Again......

Had a car accident :-( Not my fault. Doing okay, but body hurts. Will catch up blogging tomorrow. I just want to sleep, fortunately the medicine helps me :-)

Monday, November 8, 2010

Day 22: Your room as it is right now

Room is a mess, but this is only part of it. Took this morning as I was rushing out the door. As you can see bed is not made (mom would be upset) and dresser is cluttered. Oh well!

Will...just continue tomorrow, won't catch up like I did last time. Busy day at work.

Blogging Funk

Okay for some reason I got in a blogging funk last week and just stopped posting. I think I am out of it. What was sad I did not even post the simple photo challenge posts....about to pick back up.  Hope everyone is having a great Monday. Oh....tried the curly look with new hair cut, still debating if I like, but most people have given me compliments. Let me know what you think.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I Can Only Be Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recently I was thinking about who I was becoming as a person and I realize....I can only be me. I am not perfect, I am a work in progress, but I am me. Flaws and All. So I decided to really think about who "me" is....
  1. I am a woman
  2. God fearing (don't always using that phrase, but fits here)
  3. Big (I will NEVER be a size zero....I am okay with that, just want to be healthy)
  4. I am a dork and love it!
  5. Can be judgmental at times...never said I was perfect
  6. I care too much, which causes me to be hurt alot
  7. Lazy perfectionist (I like things done right, but I know I don't always work hard to do them right)
  8. I love the kids! Have to invest in the youth.
  9. "No Hands" is my kryptonite....for some reason I lose it when that song comes on, sad I know.
  10. I have no rhythm....I can dance, but never in public (funny considering I took ballet, jazz, and tap as a child)
  11. I am a virgin, planning on staying that way till married, one person said I should not broadcast that, but why not?
  12. Hard for me to cry in front of people...think maybe 2 people have SEEN me cry...don't know if that is good or bad.
  13. I am shy, I don't talk to strangers
  14. Very goofy at times....
That is all I can think of for now. Not all encompassing, but a start. I will only be me, take it or leave it! I love me and God loves me so I am GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 21: Your parents

Mom and Dad...Parents divorced my freshman year in college.  Didn't feel like scanning another old picture of them together. Dad is deceased, mom is still alive in kickin it! Love them both!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Day 20: A hobby you have

Scrapbooking...picture of a scrapbook of the mentoring group that I work with.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Deactivation of Facebook

Thursday I decided to deactivate my facebook account. This was a tough decision for me because I had reconnected with so many people I had lost contact with for a while. I enjoyed playing the games,looking at pictures, and reading the various status updates. This weekend a few people got the revelation that I was no longer on facebook and asked why....that was a tough question to answer.

I think it was because I did not have the will power just to not log and check messages and browse from time to time. I did not have the will power not play games instead of working or reading when I am supposed to. It had become an extreme distraction in the bigger picture of my life. I mean I would check when I wake up, during the day, and before I go to bed. I was not a psycho user who planned her life around facebook, but it did take a lot of my time.

There are some things I miss about facebook. Such as the random posts from some of my friends. The sharing of links and articles that I find interesting. The updates of classmates that I might not keep in tough with on the phone, but like to know how their lives are going. I enjoyed the event invites, great way to organize events among friends. 

Some things I don't miss about facebook are the stalkers who keep trying to add you, I know my page was private still can't figure out how they did that. The people who add you just to be nosey and see what is in your life. I hate when people put too much information on facebook....I mean really do I need to see pictures of your dead relative in a casket (happened several times). I hate the people who comment on everything you post, do you have the time to look at everything on faecbook?

Before I deleted my facebook page I had pretty much migrated over to twitter, less intrusive, and I don't have to check constantly. I update statuses frequently, but I don't have the urge to continue to look at every update that is posted. Most of my twitter friends are random people, although a few of the people I actually know are friends on twitter now.

Will I ever go back to facebook????? Yes, but for now it is a much needed break.  I miss it sometimes, especially on Sunday afternoons when I have nothing to do (but I guess I should be reading or studying), but I know in the long run it is a time to work on me and figure out some things in life that will take me to the next step.

Day 19: Favorite part of yourself and why

Picture was before the big chop, but I love my smile :-)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

My Experience at the Jewish Temple

This weekend was interesting. I went to the Jewish Temple with my former boss who was Jewish (guess you knew that). I enjoyed the service and it was a first for me.  I have never really ventured out into other faiths and religions in my life. I was brought up in the Christian faith and predominately in the African American church and it is a part of me and is responsible for who I am today.

One thing I did like were the prayer books and the recitations. Once I figured out what they were saying and singing I enjoyed it. It was interesting the history that I was shown and the knowledge of her faith that was portrayed.

Knowledge about what you believe in is something that has been getting to me lately.  Having an educated faith....sometimes the more I learn the more I question, but I still realize I know what I believe in. I then think back to my older family members who did not have the education, but believed and live a life that I admire and was devoted to God.

Another struggle with my faith....

Day 18: Something you collect (Finally Caught Up!)

Key chain collection I have had since like 7th grade. You see the Adidas hat??? Classic!

Day 17: A representation of the you no one really knows (Saturday's Post)

Just because I am waiting till marriage does not mean I don't have a wild side....all I will say ;-)
(can't believe I just posted this)

Day 16: Your closet (Friday's post)

Kind of messy....rough weekend, was supposed to clean out this weekend, but slept the weekend away. I needed it.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Update on 30 while 30

Decided to do an accountability check on my list....updates are in pink :-)
  1. Get a tattoo (I will not punk out!) Can't do until hair grows back out.....just got cut
  2. Get my passport (overseas trip is not in the budget YET....but working on it, at least I can get prepared) Have not even started
  3. Go on a date Ha! Thought I would get this accomplished recently, but I think I am becoming delusional. Why do I have to approach a guy????
  4. Complete 30 random acts of kindness to strangers I have done a few things....but I don't think I can give an accurate count
  5. Read 30 books that aren't the typical books that I enjoy 3 books down (I need to step it up)
  6. Take a spontaneous road trip somewhere by myself, just wake up and go (I have to plan out everything....this is going to be hard) Not in budget right now, think I will do this summer
  7. Go white water rafting I have not even planned this out yet....
  8. Apply to Masters of Public Health Program (2 are on the radar) Studying for GRE has in full force and list is now 3 schools, one with a dual program ;-)
  9. Write letters to 30 people who have had an influence in my life and tell them why Written parts of letters, but have not mailed off
  10. Run (not walk) a 5K so far I have failed on this one....still trying
  11. Walk the Music City Half Marathon (still praying on this one....Jesus give me strength!!!) need to find a running group, this is in April...JESUS!!!
  12. Save X amount of money (figure will not be disclosed to everyone, but will tell if it is met or not) Started saving, still not a lot, but doing a lot better.
  13. Donate hair to Locks for Love (length is almost there!) Hair is ready to be shipped off, Mailing in the morning :-)
  14. Lose at least 30 pounds (aiming for more....but sticking with the theme of 30)  I have lost 15 pounds, but a way to go....want to lose more than 30 pounds
  15. Purchase a Home (or be in the process...working on that now) still want too, but some things have come up....not a bad thing, but change in life, house might have to be put on hold, but in the long rung will be better
  16. Become a Research Coordinator (next step in my career...making moves!) Should know very soon
  17. Travel west of the Mississippi River (been to Arkansas and Missouri, but that is about it...but have been to all the states east of the Mississippi) Maybe this summer
  18. Purchase a big ticket item for my mother (have to see what she wants....I am thinking a REAL nice pair of earrings...this will be a surprise) Bought her roses for her birthday....not big enough yet
  19. Clean out my wardrobe (closet full of clothes and shoes...don't wear half of them, shame!!!) have not even started :-(
  20. Visit the graves of my father and sister (have not done since the funerals) Nope (plus I have to add grandmother to list)
  21. Ask some tough questions of a family member (nothing bad....just unanswered questions) plan to do during holidays
  22. Learn how to knit, love to crochet, everytime I try knitting I get frustrated :-( I think I am going to sign up for a class. Teaching myself has not worked.
  23. Write the vision plan for the next big project in my life (can't tell you what it is...yet) working on that now, got revelation recently now I have to put it down in writing and in action
  24. Go to a concert in a big venue (don't do crowds of people well, which is limiting me from seeing Maxwell in July...not cool) U2 is coming to Vandy....but this is not what I was thinking about
  25. Have my first kiss (yes I said it....don't trip) You got jokes!
  26. Create a signature vegan dish for me (I love to cook...want to create something that people who are skeptical about vegan and vegetarian dishes will enjoy) made these cupcakes I love....but it was not "it"
  27. Complete a financial plan that will pay of my student loans before I die (I am so serious) working on it
  28. Purchase a piece of artwork that will be handed down to my next generation nope
  29. Learn to speak my mind with no fear of others (some people might think I already do this....if you only knew!!) I have tried, been still get looked at crazy and no one understands, becomes frustrating, oh well
  30. Most important thing to do in my year of 30..... HAVE FUN!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

Just Too Much

Recently I have had a lot of things dumped on me this past week. From emotional, spiritual, professional, and so on....Been a rough week, but thank God things are looking up.  I know God has a reason for everything even when I don't know or see the reason.

Recently I deactivated my facebook account....needed a break and it was consuming me (not to the extreme, but it was taking up a lot of my time). I am taking some time to get some things right in my life that I have been procrastinating on in my life.

I so wish I can say more, but until some things play out really can't talk much about specifics. I am learning to be more proactive than reactive.  Can't always be on the defense, time to play offense....

Hope everyone had a great week!

For those who have not seen the new cut hear it is :-)

Will do photo challenge when I get home (forgot to take pic of my closet this morning)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Day 15: A stranger and why you chose them

First person I could take a picture of without them noticing

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Anonymous Comments

Recently I have had several anonymous comments. This use to not bother me, but I can admit now it does, just by the nature of the comments I have received.  The person obviously follows me on facebook and twitter, and has now asked me questions on formspring (rare thing).

I am assuming that this the same person because of the nature of questions and comments, and honestly I might be wrong. No matter if the person is the same or not I have no problem with what they were saying if they could back up what they are saying....and so far they have not.

Because of this I have prevented anonymous comments. Wish I did not have too, oh well.  I am open for discussion an dialogue, but please back up your statements.

Obviously this person follows me on twitter and facebook and if I am correct is asking the formspring questions so they can still respond, just not anonymously.

Am I being too harsh?

Day 13: The town/city you reside

Nashville, TN

Monday, October 25, 2010

Day 12: What’s in your fridge

Just got back in town....need to go grocery shopping :-)

Maybe I can go without Facebook???

This weekend I had a great time with friends while visiting Atlanta. What was funny for the first time in a while I really paid no attention to facebook and very little attention to twitter. I usually update my facebook status 1-2 a day and twitter a lot more, but this weekend when I checked facebook on Sunday evening I hadn't updated since Thursday. 

I use to be a constant facebook user, updating all the time and checking out all the pictures and status updates of all my friends. This weekend I had no desire to and even when I got home I did not go back to check what I missed. I am very proud of myself for this accomplishment....and it was not even on purpose.

Do I think I will ever get rid of my facebook page, doubt it, but I am not addicted to it as I use to be.  I love what facebook has done by connecting people I have not seen in years or people I have lost contact with. I think it is a great way to meet up with old classmates when you are visiting cities and to get updates on them from time to time.

I do believe I am going to continue to migrate more to twitter and maybe even let me people know about my twitter page....we shall see.

Last thing I have to slowly pull myself away from on facebook are the games. I love playing them, but need to get away from that also. We shall see :-)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Day 11: Your family pet(s) – if you don’t have one, take a picture of anything

No family pets :-( This is a picture of a project I did in a training this week. Didn't take any pics today....busy day.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Day 9: A place you went today

Beautiful scene on my road trip this weekend :-)

The Big Chop!!!

Some of you who follow my blog may know that I am working on 30 things to do while 30 list. Well yesterday I scratched off #13!!!!! That was growing my hair long enough and cutting it and donating it to Locks for Love. This was a big deal for me because I HATE cutting my hair. I love the option of having a ponytail and right now I do not. It is not as short as I thought it would be, but it is the shortest my hair has ever been. Below are the pictures of the process.

First she had to wash and flat iron my hair. This it is in a ponytail before the big chop.

She then cut the ponytail off. Still kind of shocked that much hair was left.

I then put the hair in a bag to mail off for Locks for Love!

Lastly, she styles my hair and I go home!

My hair will grow back and I have to keep telling myself that. I am more than my hair, but oh how I love my hair.  Now once my hair grows back I can accomplish #1 on my list....get a tattoo!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Day 8: Something you dislike

Car Accident in 2003.  I loved the car, but hated what happened to it. But thank GOD I survived!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Day 7: Something you ate today

Yoplait Whips Light Peaches & Cream Yogurt, Red Seedless Grapes, & Tazo Passion Tea (bought my own box, Starbucks can't keep getting my money!)

Lost Hope (might be rambling.....sorry)

This morning (or night....considering I woke up at 2 am) I started thinking about some things going on in my life. Last night I sent a text to one of my friends saying that I had given up hope.....that is not good.  Think I wrote about the convo before, but something I said and something he said has stuck in my mind. I said I had given up hope on guys and he said don't give up hope....I then rephrased my statement, but the more I think about it I really think that is what I meant.

I have written about relationships, men, and my past (the fact that I have never dated), but recently the more I think about it or the more I hope, the more I lose hope. I am one not to let past experience taint future ones, but when you keep doing the same thing and expecting different results....that is insanity. About a month ago I truly thought about all the male relationships in my life from father, family members, friends, professional, and so on and they all have not been good, so I begin to question....all men can't be bad????

I mean what is was wrong with desiring positive male relationships? I mean why do men continue to let me down.  I honestly do not ask for much and only expect people to treat others how they want to be treated, but if how you treat me is the way you want to be treated, that is very sad. I can even take my best male friend, I love him I do, but I really think he does not feel the same way, or at least I don't think his actions show it. He has my back when I am down, but does he go out the way or think about me unless I am in need, nope.

Sometimes I think I care too much. I think I expect people to be unselfish...HA! I might even think people to act like me, but I realize that is not going to happen.  I realize I care too much and I try not to care, but it is not that simple, to me it is like turning off who I am. 

I hate to admit it, but right now my hope is lost, I hope it returns, but I can't continue to be let down. I can't continue to hope that a man will be a man.  I honestly do not think that is too much to ask....but recently I think it is.

A couple of days ago I had a twitter post....

refuses to believe that all men suck....but right now someone would have a very hard time proving me different

Still waiting for someone to prove me different....

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Day 6: Your humble abode

Forgot to take a picture as I was leaving out this morning....These are my apartments :-) Next year a house!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Day 5: What’s in your bag? Or something you can’t leave the house without

I have done the picture of my purse before so I decided to post what I can't leave the house without. I love my EVO! I am addicted to my phone and what it does for me.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Day 4: A representation of your day – what do you do?

It is Sunday so I was at church, but forgot to take a picture :-( But I did spend time mentoring and my mentee took this picture of me trying on funny glasses (she refused to let me take a picture of her in glasses). Hot pink "Dewayne Wayne" glasses...I know you remember the flip top! I love to mentor and I think all people should :-)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

HBCU vs. Majority Institutions

As I chill this morning I decided to have a movie day and the first movie I decided to watch was School Daze. It is one of my favorite movies and I had not watched it in a while. I watch if for entertainment, education, and enlightenment. 

Most of you who read my blog know that I did not go to an HBCU (Historically Black College or University), but I went to Vanderbilt University. I am proud of my education and my experience and I would not take it back for the world, but when I watch School Daze I sometimes wonder would me life be different if I went to a HBCU. Majority of my older family members and family friends graduated from HBCUs such as Spelman, Morehouse, Lincoln, and Knoxville College. Although I can appreciate what they have done in the Black community and continue to do I still realize it was not for me.

Recently there was an article on 16 year old child prodigy that chose FAMU over Harvard. After reading the article the young boy made a very informed decision about where he chose to go to college which a lot of people do not.  I think students have to realize what is best for them, which may or may not be a HBCU.

I think the important thing is to get an education and get a job. You should also be able to enjoy your college experience. College is more than books, you should have fun and socialize too. One thing about me going to Vanderbilt, although I did not attend an HBCU I had 4 HBCUs (Meharry, Tennessee State, Fisk, & American Baptist College) in the city which exposed me to some of the Black College experience....that was enough for me.

Just my thoughts, not an expert, but just how I see things. I will not continue to watch the end of School Daze......

 (had to do it)

Day 3: Something you bought today

I went grocery shopping today! This is just what's in the freezer. I HAVE to stop eating out so much and cooking at home.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Day 2: Someone I Adore

My Aunt Mary (and younger days)

5 reasons why I adore her
  1. The life she lived
  2. The unconditional love she gave
  3. Her desire to live for God and study the Bible
  4. She worked hard her whole life
  5. Her ability to make me smile no matter what