Why Can't We Be Together????

Been thinking about love a lot lately. I mean why can't it be simple? Why can't the person you love love you back?  Life would be a whole lot easier.

I have realized that I really care for someone, but I know that we will never be together.....life circumstances. I use the word care, because I do not know if I can call it love....at this point.  But what I think that what is preventing me from saying love is the fact that I know that we could never be together.

Have you ever been in that situation? Where time, finances, career, perceptions of society, socioeconomic statuses, already married prevent you from being together.  People like to say these things should not matter, but they do. How can I love and be with someone who my family will never love even if I love them with all my heart?

I just don't know right now. I am learning to let go, learning to realize that there is someone out there for me that is not you. It is hard......but I know I just have to wait.

My fascination with Stringer Bell

I know I am late, but I have totally become addicted to the show The Wire.  I have been watching it on Netflix for the past month or so and just finished season 3.  I was so fascinated with the relationship of Stringer Bell and Avon Barksdale.  Two men who came from the same neighborhood, but looked at business and how to run things a little differently.

If you have watched the show you know that Stringer Bell gets killed at the end of season 3 (I am still distraught about this).  Don't know why but the character of Stringer Bell fascinated me for so many reasons. His looks, his business style, his loyalty (or lack there of), and so many more things. I question if I came in contact with Stringer Bell would he be as fascinating? Is my fascination of him just because he is a tv character? 

Knowing that he is a drug mogul, but has money, would his personality and his swagger (don't like that word....but it fits), would they make me overlook his illegal and cold hearted ways? 

Just some thoughts.....

I am alive.....

I really like this pic for some reason

I am still here, you know I would return....I have been going through a lot, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Too much to talk about in one post so I will give you bullet points for now....will elaborate in other posts when I can. You can follow me on twitter at musicstyle....best way to keep up with me these days.

1. Got strep throat was out for a week
2. Marathon training and we are doing 12 miles on Saturday....PRAY!!
3. Got a new job :-)  More money, better fit, I am happy
4. Still working 2 jobs, but I love the kids....don't know if I will give that up just yet.
5. Still questioning things about my faith, no, questioning church, not faith.....God is still awesome....church folks, not so much
6. Struggling a lot lately with the fact that I am 30 and never dated....really getting to me these days
7. Switched up tattoo design....will get after half marathon is complete. I am so getting excited :-)

These are just a few things that are going on.  I am going to attempt to start blogging daily again, hopefully you all are still following and reading. Thanks for the comments and thanks for those who blogs I read (or skim).

I have missed blogging consistently and hopefully I can get back in the habit.