Thursday, February 3, 2011

Appearances & Looks

Why do people base relationships on looks and appearances? I mean does how a person looks help to make a relationship last. I had a convo with a friend recently and he made the statement that a person has to be attracted to you to get to know you, which I can understand from some aspect, but to base a relationship or completely say if a person does not have a certain appearance you will not be with them or get to know them is very superficial and from my perspective one reasons relationships are so jacked up now.

If you follow my blog you probably have read that I have never dated or been with anybody and lately this has been a real struggle for me because most of my closest friends have gotten married or are in committed relationships. I can frustrated because when I tried to explain or talk about my feelings with close friends they do not understand or dismiss my feelings....and that hurts.  It gets frustrating when you know who you are, what you have to offer, and the love you have to give, but no one gets to know it because you don't fit a mold that society says I should fit.

I know that I am a beautiful person who loves to have fun, give back, work hard, listen to friend's problems, cook, play and help influence kids who will grow to be our leaders of tomorrow. I love music and could listen and dance (not in public) to almost any great song.   I am silly and can be a dork at times, I realize that I might love to much and expect the best in people.....probably why I am let down so much.  I am not perfect, but what I am is a person who desires the companionship of another, but when no one takes the time to get to know that person it hurts.

A friend said I should spice it up, dress up more, which I think I do, but just because I don't like to wear heels, make up a lot, does not mean that a person should pass me over. I look nice, love a nice pair of pants and a shirt and I am good. I will wear a dress from time to time (more in the summer).  Plus I feel if I am not approached either way why not be comfortable???

Yes you have to be attracted to a person, but what if you miss out on something amazing just because it does not "look" like what you think it should?  If someone gave you a funny looking car that got you from point A to point B, but because it did not look like what you wanted you don't take it, but it had $1,000,000 in the trunk? You have missed something great over something superficial. 

Just some thoughts in my head right now....really needed to get those out. Have a had a lot going on health, professional, work, and spiritual......might be blogging a lot more to get some things out. Hope everyone has a great day. Trying to make the best of mine. On my way to the doctor!


LC said...

This is an interesting post. I completely understand what you’re saying about meeting someone who will love you unconditionally. At times it can be disheartening to be the single friend to a bunch of married or involved girlfriends. I’m wondering what steps have you taken or are you taking to possibly meet someone?

Humbly Beautiful said...

Well I have hung out with new people, tried online dating (which was horrible). I am not an outgoing person and find it very hard to approach someone, just not my personality.

I am all for being attracted to someone, but to have this unrealistic view of what a woman should always look like and wear and base getting to know them solely on that is a problem. This goes for women also.