If I were a boy, would he be a girl???

The other day I was browsing blogs and I came across a comment that inspired me ask the question. When I first heard the song by Beyonce' I was so not feeling the song. If you have not seen the video check out If I Were A Boy. Then I saw the video and I was like deep. I understand the thinking behind the lyrics and the video, but is it that simple...no.

I mean just because you act like a guy does not mean he will act like a girl. Plus the actions are not just done by males or just done by females. I think when a person cheats there are so many things that go into the equation that most people do not think about and most people just assume. I think females assume so many things about men...and men do the same, but the problem is assuming is not good.

I just wanted to pose the question. So many things can go into this blog, but did not want to go to deep, sometimes when I do I ramble. Plus I want to hear what others think.

Logical Love...

I was talking with my aunt the other day and she just laughed at me about our conversation. Every time we get on the topic of relationships, unwed pregnancies, and topics like those she says every time that I think to logically about them when I try to process the actions of others. This got me to thinking about how I view things. I have a very, very unique perspective on relationships(rather not go into detail, shoot me an email or ask if you want to know more) and sometimes I wonder if that is why I think so logically about them...but then I think no, I just think logically about a lot of things in my life, it makes sense to me.

I have extreme views and do not apologize for them. Just how I feel. I do understand and know love is a feeling and emotion, but I also realize there is some logic to it. Any relationship you get in you are selfish...Your goal is to seek pleasure or enjoyment for yourself. I think you grow to be selfless and do things for the other person, but deep down in side you are still out for self. I think as the relationship grows and you grow to love a person you then think about them before you think about yourself....but this is not always. I think want key to life is self preservation, you can't help others unless you help yourself. When your whole life revolves pleasing another person then a relationship can become one sided.

I think when you love someone there is a process of thoughts and emotions that you go through. When you are getting to know someone you think about the qualities that this person possesses and if you like them or not. You think about if you enjoying spending time with this person and if they make you happy. You think about what time of relationship you both share. Now I think people even more think about what type of power couple you will be. You look for someone that can compliment you...not complete you, I hope you are whole already. So many state they have requirements when it comes to a person they will date...this might be a short or long list, but they are things that help a person decide if they are going to be with a person. To me...these are all logical choices. You think about about all of these above things and decide if you want to be with a person or not.

I do feel emotions play a part, but I think love is a choice and hopefully you can control your emotions. If you make decisions completely off of emotions then I think your emotions you can take you in the wrong directions sometimes...a lot of times. Most people might not agree with me, but I believe love is a choice. You choose who you allow in your inner space, you choose who you open up to, you choose who you allow to get to know you...this all leads to getting to know someone with the hopes of one day you might fall in love. Emotions can blind you to the obvious at times and make you think you are in love and honestly you are in lust. Emotions together with logic and choices lead to a relationship.

I can go on and on about this topic, but it would take forever. I wrote this blog to just talk about what I am contemplating....logical love. I think some ways everybody loves logically if they want to admit it or not...

I have to be able to talk to you!!!!

I like to write on different topics and I usually write about things that I am dealing with and this is something that has been really irking me. Why approach someone, male or female, when you can't hold a conversation? I do believe the art of face to face conversation is dying with the growth of social networking websites and texting, but really... Is it too hard to be able to approach someone and have a convo that makes sense???

A while ago I wrote about should a guy's job matter which ties in with this to me. I am not saying if you clean floors or just have a high school degree you can't hold a convo, but if I value education and being able to talk about and discuss different topics that are more complex shouldn't you be able to do the same? One of my friends had a great example. If a man is a physical fitness trainer and nutritionist would it make sense for him to date a woman who is morbidly obese and can't walk up two steps without having a heart attack?? No, it wouldn't, he values health and that is something I am assuming he would like in a mate. I have met several people who are not formally educated, but can hold a great conversation and think & process things better than people with a graduate degree. I do think this the exception, not the norm.

If all you can say is hello and you look nice and you smart...what the??? If we are having a topic on politics or the election of Barack Obama and all you can say is "My President is Black!"...yes that was direct quote of all a person could say about Obama's win. If we are talking about what you want to do with your life and all you can say is I want to make bank...is your only motivation in life to make money? I even go back to one of my favorite movies, Love & Basketball, when Shawnee sent that message by Monica to Quincy and Monica stated(not exact quotes) "She is not trying to get to know you, She is just trying to bone." That is a classic example. All Shawnee could talk about was Q's body, not his mind, his thoughts, or who he was as a person. If we are talking about what we do for a living you might not understand exactly what I do, but a general idea might be helpful. All I am saying conversation can be a good thing versus one liners or shallow statements.

I have said this to say in any relationship rather it be friendship, professional, romantic, or even with family I have to be able to talk to you. I really do not think this is too much to ask. I know people have their moments and their days. I know everyone is not well versed in all topics, but simple conversation can be accomplished. Have a complete thought, have an original idea, have your own opinion on something...is that too much to ask??? One of my favorite quotes is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, he says "Don't recite other people's opinions. ...Tell me what you know." I think this is one key component to having a meaningful conversation. Just my thoughts. Could not sleep and had to vent :)

Wanting More

I think each day I wake up I want more. Isn't that how all people should feel? I mean I desire to have more in life, just not material things, but more knowledge, more love, more understanding of why we are placed here on this earth. I think if you do not wake up wanting more what is the point of waking up? If you have become stagnant in your life (which I have) what do you have to look forward to? I mean each day you have to find the greater meaning in life or what you re put on this earth for. I think each day I wake up I want to have the desire the mindset of wanting more.

Time to get to work...

After this week of history a lot has been on my mind. I have had a lot of different thoughts going through my head (more than normal). I really believed that I was becoming stagnant in my life, or rather being a long term procrastinator. After so much has gone on and in combination with church on Sunday, once again my motivation has be sparked and hopefully it will stay. It is time to do better, it is time to be better. When I started this blog description of me on the side goes back to my motto in life that it is not about you. We have to think beyond ourselves to others and the generations to come. My friend Terry talked to the girls that I mentor a few weeks back about what type of legacy will you lead...so on point and something that not only kids need to think about, but also adults. President-Elect Obama talked about what we can do to make America better and that we ALL have to do our part. My pastor then talked about having a plan and impacting others, you will face opposition, but you still have to push on. Then...even True Hollywood Story spoke to me in the life of Star Jones (not her biggest fan, but show was good). The show demonstrated how she worked hard to get where she was getting and that she has been through some things (rather thy be by others or self inflicted) but she is still standing. I think all of these messages said something to me and have inspired me to work harder and be a better person.

With that being said I look back to about a year ago. I had written out a plan for some of the things I wanted to do and I have accomplished some of those things, but some are still in the air. I was working out more, eating better, working on myself a lot more...I need to get back to that. Why? Because how can I help others without helping myself. I made one step this year by going to the doctor (yes...I know sad) this was something I have been putting off for years. I have to example in all areas of my life. I have slipped in various areas and it is time for me to get to work. It is on, the sky is the limit. I am excited about what the future holds, but I am more excited about what the person that I am coming. I know God has a reason for everything and despite my falls, despite my hypocrisy(not justifying it, but acknowledging it and working on it), despite my issues he still loves me and he still uses me. The best is yet to come!!!!

Few of My Thoughts on History....

Today I finally decided to put into words my feelings over the election of our first African American President. That night I experienced joy, happiness, nervousness, scaredness(don't even think that is a word), and so many other emotions. I witnessed history, I was a part of history. I thought about how this will impact generations to come. When President-Elect Barack Obama and his family walked across that staged it made me see what was to come. I saw a great representation for all people just not Blacks, but ALL people. He is a role model in so many ways and his family is also.

I thought about those who fought to give all people the right to vote. I thought about how people died, people went to jail, people experienced so much to give me this opportunity, and yet so many people don't vote...but in this election we did better, not great but better. My vote counted, my vote meant something. When you look at how close some states where EVERY vote counted.

When I was watching the television and looking at what was going on in Chicago...to me that is what America should be. People of all colors, faiths, and ethnicity united and enjoying this historic occasion. People getting along and celebrating, not hatred, not anger, just love. This was beautiful.

I have written a lot about the emotions that I have felt and now I think about how my state voted. I live in Tennessee...the south and put up a picture of how the presidential election went by county in my state...I am pretty sure if you go to a lot of the other Southern states you might find something similar. Yes more people voted and yes the urban areas predominately voted for Obama, but when you look at the make up the votes by county...the map has not changed. The south is still the south. Yes he won Virgina and North Carolina, but largely due to larger urban areas and increased African American voting.

I had a conversation with so many people and asked the question "If Barack was white, do you think the race would have been this close?" Most people in response said no. Yes he crossed color lines, and yes he is of mixed heritage, but the majority of Americans....including African Americans just see him as a Black man.

Those of who have read my blogs on myspace or my notes on facebook know that I can be random and my thoughts can be everywhere, but I write to get them out. I pray for the Obama family daily, I pray that he is protected and he makes the right decisions for this country and his home. He has a tremendous burden on his shoulder and we all need to help lift that burden. We have to live the motto "Yes We Can!" Not just Barack, not just our government, but all of us as Americans. No man can do it alone, we are out brother's keeper. This election has gone down in history, but we still have to continue to make history...the work does not stop here....