35 while 35 list!!!

Well the tradition continues......every 5 years I am going to complete a list of things. So since I turn 35 this year (seems like I was 30 forever) I will attempt to complete the following 35 things :-)

1. Save $3500 

2. Lose at least 100 pounds (originally said 35 but that is too easy)

3. Run 1/2 marathon (gearing up for Hot chocolate 15k as a warm up the Music City Marathon)

4. Read 35 books

5. International travel (suggestions welcome)

6. 35 random acts of kindness

7. Go on an actual date (one year this will actually fall off my list)

8. Get my 2nd tattoo (design already picked out)

9. Random thoughts daily for entire year (will post weekly on fb)

10. Blog on original blog weekly

11. Meet 35 new people and write about experience (for those who know me.....I don't talk to strangers so this is a big deal)

12. Attempt 35 new recipes

13. Keep a journal entire year of all my experiences I complete

14. 35 love notes

15. 35 community service activities

16. Watch 35 new movies (up for suggestions)

17. Try 35 new restaurants 

18. Walk/jog 35 miles monthly

19. Donate 35 pieces of clothing (it's sad how many items in my closet I never wear)

20. Phase flip flops out of my daily wardrobe (for those who know me......pray!)

21. Visit graves of my father and sister (still haven't been able to do this)

22. Weekend cabin tip to Gatlinburg

23. Try a new brunch spot monthly

24. Huge surprise for my mother

25. Apply for grad school

26. Take SOCRA exam (October is target date)

27. Teach my mother to use laptop and Internet (she has made progress,but has a long way to go)

28. Get cable again (now that I don't work as much antenna television is not enough)

29. Concert at a big venue (Janet Jackson in September)

30. Pay off my car early

31. Home ownership or new apartment (depends on my next career move)

32. Job promotion

33. Cut hair again (can't donate, but need to switch it up)

34. Be more social 

35. Just have fun!!!!!!

Life

So much on my mind......Next month I will be 35 and honestly not looking forward to it. The one thing I want I am tired of wanting and it is becoming frustrating. Something I cannot control, something I cannot make happen. Hurts......can't lie and say it doesn't trying to finish up my 35 while 35 list but I have come to a block and don't know if I can move past it. 

As I write this post I think on the fact that I am blessed and question why I let the little things get to me and how I am focusing on one thing I don't have, but attempting to remind myself of all the things I do have and it is hard to do. It is easy to say just deal.....well tired of dealing and settling or just being complacent. 

Don't know if things will change, but just needed to let this out.

 New hair color.......and actually smiling. All I got for now.