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Showing posts with label honesty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label honesty. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Four Fs

Faith
Fitness
Finances
Future




What are these? My focus in 2014. Last night I was working with the kids I mentor on vision boards and everything I have been thinking about during my Facebook break came together. Thank you God!!! These are 4 areas of my life that I want to target this year..... aggressively. Every year people, I, make goals or resolutions and every year I accomplish some and fail at others. This year I want to be more intentional about what is to come.

How am I going to do this? Good question...... One thing I that I sometimes have issues with is following through things that are hard for me. Easy things? I got this, but things that I struggle with, I say I am going to change, I start out great.....hit a road block and I am done. But I realize I need to make some major changes in my life. So each area listed above has to have a realistic plan.

Faith
This past year my faith has been on struggle. Why? I honestly don't know completely. Growing up in church faith was always apart of my life, but did I understand it? No.....I did what I was told, what was fun, and it became a habit for me. Through college I grew in my faith and began to understand things for me....not what my elders told me. Imagine being a college student almost failing out, losing scholarships and grants, parents divorce, mother gets breast cancer, sister dies (amongst 4 other close relatives), and father goes down a spiral of alcoholism that eventually lead to his death.....but I always had a mentality of but God!! My faith back then was the only stable thing in my life back then. So why is my faith shaky now? Still processing that. I question....a lot, it is my nature. I want to know why!!!!! Things have to make sense to me and right now.....there is a lot in my life that doesn't make sense.

So.....this year my goal is to study more of why do I believe what I believe. Read the Bible more and have more quiet time. If I only read a chapter in the Bible a day.....it's a start. Also read more books explaining Christianity and what it means to be a Christian. Books to help me walk in my faith, just not talk about it, be about it. I also want to study other religions, I believe in God, but I think you can learn a lot from understanding what other people believe in. 

Fitness
I am fat....yeah I said it. I am actually obese. It is what it is. My last doctor's appointment was not great at all. No health problems, but the weight is the worst it has ever been. I admit I can be an emotional eater and learning to stop doing this, but it takes time. I also realize I don't workout regularly. This must change. I have to lose weight.....lots of it over time (didn't gain it overnight, won't lose it overnight)

My plan......I have to be more intentional on eating and exercise. I think I am going back to cutting out meat.....think this is when the weight loss sky rocketed, when I fell back in love with bacon. I also have to cut out fast food, now that I am not working as much this will be easier to accomplish. Green smoothies are great and I like! Just need to continue to get creative with them so I don't get bored. Next the workouts....my church is having an event called ChurchFit and I am hoping it helps give me a kick start. I have targeted 3 workout classes that actually fit into my schedule and I am excited about them!! I also want to aim for the Women's half marathon in September. I love to walk and I just have to focus and dedicate to training.....this cold weather keeps getting in the way. I think when I do these things I will see progress. For 2014 my goal is to lose 75 pounds. One pound at a time.

Finances
Another struggle for me......Coupled with ridiculous student loans and having problems sticking to a budget I need to make changes. Last year I paid off a lot of stupid debt and I hope to get all stupid debt paid off by March. So this year is going to be a year of savings. I am learning to pay cash for everything and not charging anything. I am admitting to myself I don't NEED the latest gadget or item I see. I am determined to put away a certain percentage of my check each month in an account that is not easily accessible. That way I can't just electronically transfer money when I want to splurge. I am also going to try real hard not to eat out at all.....you know how much money I waste eating out? I want to be a better steward of my money one day at a time.

Future
What does the future hold for me? I honestly don't know. What do I see in my future.....a variety of things. I want career growth, but right now I don't know what that end goal or ultimate job will be, but I do have some things in the work that I hope I can report on soon. I love what I do, but I don't want to do it forever. I need a new challenge (and more money.....just being honest). I want a family? But what does that look like? Good question.....each year I set and hope that my relationship status will change (been the same for a long time.....my whole life) but each year it doesn't. How do I change that? If you can answer that......please let me know. But, I realize I want a family in my future. I want children and I want someone to share that with. So......first step is going out on a date (don't think this goal is ever going to change until it actually happens). So as I was creating my vision board I came across an article that had the phrase "dating outside the box" which is something I am going to try.....hopefully. What I do know about my future is that is bright and 2014 I think is the beginning of a brighter future for me.

The Journey
It is going to be long and hard, but I think it is worth it. I will blog about successes and failures here.....I hope I will be transparent and learn from this journey. In the end I just want to be a better me.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Attraction

What makes you attracted to someone? Is it their looks? Their personality? How they treat you? I think there is a lot that goes into attraction.

Recently a friend questioned me and who I was attracted to which I find odd because she is always talking about her struggle with people not accepting who she is attracted to or judging her for it. But when she questioned my thoughts I really began to think about what attracts me to a person......

What do I find attractive? I love a smile, great convo, the ability to listen and understand. A person who can get past the introvert I sometimes can become and get me to be completely honest and free. I think it as hella attractive for someone to be silly yet serious, fun, but knows how to get down to business. 

When I truly think about what attracts me to a person....it is honestly not about looks. I have to be able to look at you, but when I think back to the people I have been most attracted to in my life.....looks played a very small role.

Grant it I can say I love a person's eyes, their lips, their hair or lack there of (I do love a bald head), a person's hands, I could keep going, but to me.....that does not make the person. Like I said I have to be able to look at you, but rather you are big or small, tall, or short, missing a tooth or even an eye? To me those are superficial.

I look back to the people I have been most attracted to (some are present attractions) it is their ability to listen, to make me laugh, get me when no one else does, a person who has intelligence and wisdom, the ability to just be unapologetically themselves. To me......that is a big turn on. 

One thing that people laugh at when I say this is.....I can be attracted to you and find you attractive......but I don't want to be with you. Why is that? This especially goes for people that I physically find attractive. I realize attraction is not the key to a successful relationship or companionship because when they attraction becomes cold what do you do? How do you get through those times? 

Below is a pic of some people that I am attracted to, some are pure physical some are more than physical. Now all are famous, but each possesses qualities that I find very attractive.....