Determined

1. I will be unapologetically me
2. I will lose weight
3. I will be a better steward of my money
4. I will challenge systems that try to destroy me
5. I will love and be loved

This is just a start......

The Four Fs

Faith

Fitness

Finances

Future

What are these? My focus in 2014. Last night I was working with the kids I mentor on vision boards and everything I have been thinking about during my Facebook break came together. Thank you God!!! These are 4 areas of my life that I want to target this year..... aggressively. Every year people, I, make goals or resolutions and every year I accomplish some and fail at others. This year I want to be more intentional about what is to come.

How am I going to do this? Good question...... One thing I that I sometimes have issues with is following through things that are hard for me. Easy things? I got this, but things that I struggle with, I say I am going to change, I start out great.....hit a road block and I am done. But I realize I need to make some major changes in my life. So each area listed above has to have a realistic plan.

Faith

This past year my faith has been on struggle. Why? I honestly don't know completely. Growing up in church faith was always apart of my life, but did I understand it? No.....I did what I was told, what was fun, and it became a habit for me. Through college I grew in my faith and began to understand things for me....not what my elders told me. Imagine being a college student almost failing out, losing scholarships and grants, parents divorce, mother gets breast cancer, sister dies (amongst 4 other close relatives), and father goes down a spiral of alcoholism that eventually lead to his death.....but I always had a mentality of but God!! My faith back then was the only stable thing in my life back then. So why is my faith shaky now? Still processing that. I question....a lot, it is my nature. I want to know why!!!!! Things have to make sense to me and right now.....there is a lot in my life that doesn't make sense.

So.....this year my goal is to study more of why do I believe what I believe. Read the Bible more and have more quiet time. If I only read a chapter in the Bible a day.....it's a start. Also read more books explaining Christianity and what it means to be a Christian. Books to help me walk in my faith, just not talk about it, be about it. I also want to study other religions, I believe in God, but I think you can learn a lot from understanding what other people believe in. 

Fitness

I am fat....yeah I said it. I am actually obese. It is what it is. My last doctor's appointment was not great at all. No health problems, but the weight is the worst it has ever been. I admit I can be an emotional eater and learning to stop doing this, but it takes time. I also realize I don't workout regularly. This must change. I have to lose weight.....lots of it over time (didn't gain it overnight, won't lose it overnight)

My plan......I have to be more intentional on eating and exercise. I think I am going back to cutting out meat.....think this is when the weight loss sky rocketed, when I fell back in love with bacon. I also have to cut out fast food, now that I am not working as much this will be easier to accomplish. Green smoothies are great and I like! Just need to continue to get creative with them so I don't get bored. Next the workouts....my church is having an event called ChurchFit and I am hoping it helps give me a kick start. I have targeted 3 workout classes that actually fit into my schedule and I am excited about them!! I also want to aim for the Women's half marathon in September. I love to walk and I just have to focus and dedicate to training.....this cold weather keeps getting in the way. I think when I do these things I will see progress. For 2014 my goal is to lose 75 pounds. One pound at a time.

Finances

Another struggle for me......Coupled with ridiculous student loans and having problems sticking to a budget I need to make changes. Last year I paid off a lot of stupid debt and I hope to get all stupid debt paid off by March. So this year is going to be a year of savings. I am learning to pay cash for everything and not charging anything. I am admitting to myself I don't NEED the latest gadget or item I see. I am determined to put away a certain percentage of my check each month in an account that is not easily accessible. That way I can't just electronically transfer money when I want to splurge. I am also going to try real hard not to eat out at all.....you know how much money I waste eating out? I want to be a better steward of my money one day at a time.

Future

What does the future hold for me? I honestly don't know. What do I see in my future.....a variety of things. I want career growth, but right now I don't know what that end goal or ultimate job will be, but I do have some things in the work that I hope I can report on soon. I love what I do, but I don't want to do it forever. I need a new challenge (and more money.....just being honest). I want a family? But what does that look like? Good question.....each year I set and hope that my relationship status will change (been the same for a long time.....my whole life) but each year it doesn't. How do I change that? If you can answer that......please let me know. But, I realize I want a family in my future. I want children and I want someone to share that with. So......first step is going out on a date (don't think this goal is ever going to change until it actually happens). So as I was creating my vision board I came across an article that had the phrase "dating outside the box" which is something I am going to try.....hopefully. What I do know about my future is that is bright and 2014 I think is the beginning of a brighter future for me.

The Journey

It is going to be long and hard, but I think it is worth it. I will blog about successes and failures here.....I hope I will be transparent and learn from this journey. In the end I just want to be a better me.

Update on 30 while 30......

Well since I will be 33 (SHHHH!!! don't tell anyone) this month I once again am updating my 30 While 30 list (which is turning into a 30 while in my 30s list).Updates are in RED!!!

1. Get a tattoo (I will not punk out!) Tattoo pic is here!
2. Get my passport (overseas trip is not in the budget YET....but working on it, at least I can get prepared) Got passport and went to the Bahamas last year!!! Planning another overseas trip for 2015 (got some other big plans for 2014)
3. Go on a date I got jokes!! Me and a friend had a long discussion about why he doesn't understand why I have not been on a date.....think I finally made him see why :-/
4. Complete 30 random acts of kindness to strangers this will always be ongoing
5. Read 30 books that aren't the typical books that I enjoy been busy but got 5 books under my belt this year and still have a stack I have to make it through
6. Take a spontaneous road trip somewhere by myself, just wake up and go (I have to plan out everything....this is going to be hard) I am not a spontaneous person so this is still no
7. Go white water rafting no one will go with me
8. Apply to Masters of  Public Health Program (2 are on the radar) this in works for 2014 all I can say....
9. Write letters to 30 people who have had an influence in my life and tell them why done!
10. Run (not walk) a 5K walked one, working on running....
11. Walk the Music City Half Marathon (still praying on this one....Jesus give me strength!!!) 2014!!!
12. Save X amount of money (figure will not be disclosed to everyone, but will tell if it is met or not) this is my weakness so no :-(
13. Donate hair to Locks for Love (length is almost there!) Did it! See!!!
14. Lose at least 30 pounds (aiming for more....but sticking with the theme of 30)
15. Purchase a Home (or be in the process...working on that now) have a fear of doing this....but making moves in 2014, house in 2015 is goal
16. Become a Research Coordinator (next step in my career...making moves!) Just interviewed for this position!!!
17. Travel west of the Mississippi River (been to Arkansas and Missouri, but that is about it...but have been to all the states east of the Mississippi) done!
18. Purchase a big ticket item for my mother (have to see what she wants....I am thinking a REAL nice pair of earrings...this will be a surprise) getting close!
19. Clean out my wardrobe (closet full of clothes and shoes...don't wear half of them, shame!!!) this will be an ongoing process...
20. Visit the graves of my father and sister (have not done since the funerals) still can't do it :-(
21. Ask some tough questions of a family member (nothing bad....just unanswered questions) afraid of the answers
22. Learn how to knit, love to crochet, everytime I try knitting I get frustrated :-( still trying, but can't do it
23. Write the vision plan for the next big project in my life (can't tell you what it is...yet) done!
24. Go to a concert in a big venue (don't do crowds of people well, which is limiting me from seeing Maxwell in July...not cool) Can't!!!! Kendrick Lamar and Wale are coming to my alma mater in a few months.....not big, but not small, so might go, step closer.....
25. Have my first kiss (yes I said it....don't trip) long story.....so I still say no
26. Create a signature vegan dish for me (I love to cook...want to create something that people who are skeptical about vegan and vegetarian dishes will enjoy) Stuffed Mexican portabella mushrooms! They are amazing!!
27. Complete a financial plan that will pay of my student loans before I die (I am so serious) starting to pay them off finally!
28. Purchase a piece of artwork that will be handed down to my next generation nope
29. Learn to speak my mind with no fear of others (some people might think I already do this....if you only knew!!) getting better
30. Most important thing to do in my year of 30..... HAVE FUN!!!! yess!!!!

Finishing

I have come to realize that I am not always good at finishing things. I start a project and get the majority of it done....then I get distracted. This is so not good. If you follow me you know that I am working on my 30 Things While 30 list and it is actually coming along....but not at the pace that I want too, not because of outside forces, but because of me. This is disheartening to me, because I need to get more motivated.

What made me realize this is one of my goals was to walk the half marathon in April....only way this is going to happen is by a miracle. I have been working out, but not the pace that I need to be to be ready by April. I still want to complete a half marathon while I am 30, but I am going to have to push it back.  I am going to expand more on my other blog....which I have so neglected :-(.

This being said I am determined to finish what I have started! It is a new year and I have been working on a new me and I will not let distractions and things stop me from doing what I have said I was going to do and what I am supposed to do......

Is there anything in your life that you have not finished that you wish you had?

Being S.M.A.R.T.

A while ago I read this blog and it really inspired me. I have begun to set several goals in my life...some short term and some long term.  With each goal I am being S.M.A.R.T: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.  This is important to me because a lot of times I set goals and then I get distracted. Not to say things don't get accomplished, but they are pushed aside and not completed in a timely manner.

This year I am setting some specific goals that I will share with you.  This way I can hold myself accountable and track my progress. Also, I can go back and look to say what I was going to do and see if I really did it...It is not as easy to deny when you put it out there on the web. 

Listed below are areas in my life that I am working on this year and my goals for them.

1. My weight: I wrote in an earlier blog about the fact that I am obese now. This will end!!! I need to look up the medical definition of obese, but I have come up with target weight goals.  I have a Baby Shower in Atlanta in June and I want to lose 40 pounds by then. I have been exercising and eating better and this is attainable.  This is for my health. I can never get this fat again.  Then, by the end of 2010 I would like to lose another 30 pounds. I know as time progresses it will be harder to lose the weight, but I will keep working. I will work out 3-4 times a week consistently. I will NOT eat cupcakes from Cupcake Collection more than once a week...they are so my weakness. Each year I will set new goals until I am physically fit, inside and out.
2. Finances: I want to build my savings back up.  I want my emergency fund to be consistently back at $1000 by the end of 2010. Yes I have taken a pay cut because I am only working one job, but I think it still can be done.  I also want to pay CASH for my trips to Atlanta and Philadelphia in June and July.  No borrowing, not credit cards, not robbing Peter to pay Paul...Feel me?  Once my emergency fund has been established I will continue the steps that I use to follow in Dave Ramsey's class.
3. Hair: This may seem little, but it is big to me. I want to grow my hair out for Locks for Love. My hair has to be 10 inches...which is possible, but I always cut hair in stages and never grow it out long enough to donate or I color it or do something crazy. I am blessed with a lot of hair, and hair that people like to call "good" (that's a whole nother post) so I would love to share with someone who needs it, not the greedy people who continue to touch my hair without permission and ask for my hair!!! Sorry...having a moment.
4. Career/Education: I am in a position right now that I love, but I know I do not want to do this forever. It is a stepping stone for the next level.  I have the work experience now I just need the education to back it up. I am taking the GRE this year and applying for Graduate School. I really want to be a research coordinator.  This position does not need more education, but in the long run I don't want to be stuck . I am beginning to research schools and mapping out a plan.
5. Love: This is a hard one...Been a big struggle for me and hard to put goals on something that is really out of your control, but I felt I need to address it.  This year I will let my guard down.  Melanie Fiona (from India Arie) said it best...I am Ready for Love. I know I am different and I can't change my past, but I know it has made me who I am today and whoever can accept that and understand that this is a first step for me will be a journey and hopefully for the best. I am not asking for perfection...just a chance.
6. Mentoring: I have been a mentor for several years now.  I have had my frustrations of the status quo. It is time for me to do what I have always know I should do no matter what others say because it is so not about me. It is time for me to implement and work on a how to more effectively impact the kids lives. Not leaving things to the last minute and doing mediocre work.  We claim to work in the "spirit of excellence" but so often we don't. I have ideas that I will follow through with and that will get accomplished.

Okay...These are just a start.  Some of my goals and plans. I have tried to apply the S.M.A.R.T. principle to all of them.  It is easier to see them written out and easier to hold myself accountable. So a year from now I will revisit this post and see where I am. Wish me luck!!

Shake the Haters Off!!!

I got this inspiration from what I found out to be a slogan of the newly reelected mayor of the GREAT city of Memphis. I will not get into my view on Memphis politics today, because that can be a lonnnnnnnnng blog, but I digress. The word "hater" has been coming up a lot lately in a lot of people's mouths and honestly I am tired of it. I understand that "haters" will be out there, but why are we so focused on them??? I mean is your soul goal in life to get haters? If I am doing well that is by the grace of God, but my complete motivation for doing well should not be prompted by those that hate. I would say even in the church the word haters is becoming a common theme when people talking about their blessings and what God is doing in their life...I am going to be blunt, How can I hate on your when you are flipping burgers at McDonald's and riding the bus????(simple example, don't think too deep, but you get the picture). I am just being real, because most of the people who get to shouting on the the term "haters" at church have the quality I just stated. Then they view haters in a materialistic way, which is another subject in itself. Why are we worried about the people who become so called jealous of what we have in life and what we are doing?? I am not saying that the haters do not exist, but the emphasis on them in society has become crazy.

Then I get to the point of why do people hate. What is the point? I am a believer in what is mine is mine and what yours is yours(not getting to the point of sharing and helping others). Just like you got it I can get it, I might have to work harder and it might take longer, but I can get it...if it is meant for me. Life is too short and there are so many more things that we as human beings should focus on. It is not to say a person has a moment of jealousy, we are human, it happens, but to continuous jealousy over something you can not control does not make sense.