Decisions.....

This weekend was great, but had a lot of things to think about....I am about to make some tough decisions in my life and honestly I don't know which direction I will take.  I mean I had the next few years of my life all planned out.  I have debated back and forth for a while and finally made the decision to move on in my life....now another opportunity has presented itself...still moving on, but more options.

I am thankful for those options. I am thankful that I am moving forward in my career and that I am meeting challenges head on.  I am not dependent on parents and family as much which is a good thing.  They always have my back, but I don't want to take advantage of family and friends.  I am learning to stand up for what is best for me and not pleasing others.  Sometimes the decisions that I make that are best for me, might not be best for others and I have to realize that is not me being selfish.

Yesterday at church the message was about changing your crowd. It was a great word, and an awesome service.  It made me think about the people in my life that I need to let go of and the people that I should keep around. Not that the people to let go of are bad, but their season in my life has passed.  I have this issue on so many levels...I am loyal to friends to a fault at times and I try to see the good in everybody, and it is very hard for me to let go of people who really have no reason for being in my life right now. I want to surround myself by positive people and forward thinking people.  Friends should not be stagnant.  My circle of friends is small....and is about to get smaller and I am okay with that. 

I am about to make some hard decisions, but they will be decisions that will be better for my life and the direction I am going. God has a plan and I am trying to follow that plan. I have to to stop doubting self and step out on faith...

All I Can Do is...Pray

One of my recent posts talked about how my grandmother is getting sicker...Today my mother is putting her in a nursing home. I talked to mother this morning and she is okay, but...I don't know what to do in this situation. I want to go home to help my mother, but she says no. I want to call, but I don't want to disrupt the moving process. All I can do right now is pray.

I am a person of faith and believe in God. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I try to find the positive in everything. Every experience is a lesson. I know God knows what is best. It is hard for me to focus on work right now because all I can think of what is going on with my mother and my grandmother...and what is sad my mother has a sister who is not on board with moving my grandmother to a nursing home which brings in family drama...but that is not the point.

I am having this internal debate to call or not to call, go visit or stay in Nashville. I know if I were to go home my mother would be mad. I think I will wait until I get a call from her and then decide. All I can do at this point is pray. I think logically about so many things, but I do have a heart. I am hurting, but okay. I am at peace, but still have feelings.

Today is a rough day...but I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Back to my regularly scheduled program...work!!!