Sorry....

I was trying to post my often and I have been slacking.  I am starting a new job next month and trying to wrap things up at the old one.  I have never had so much to do!!! Times like this I wish I could be trifflin and let things go undone....but I can't.

Well anyway,  I have still been working out and trying to eat better. My personal trainer is killin me!!! I got on the scale yesterday and I have lost 9 pounds, so that is a start...too many to go, plus it is the holidays. HELP!!!

Overall life is good, but in transition.  I am in love...but don't know if that is a good thing or bad thing or if the feeling is recipricol...I might explain in a later blog.  Making changes in my life for the better and I am excited and scared all at the same time...

We will see where this path takes me....Life is a series of lessons and I am hoping that I am not failing them and that I don't have to repeat them. Learn from mistakes and move on...my thoughts.

Day One of Personal Trainer :-(

Today started first day of working out with a personal trainer. For Christmas (she gave it to me early) my mother gave me 2 months of a personal trainer just to give me a jump start. I am thankful for the gift, but like I said in the last post I have to do this with or without other people's help. 

This morning I barely made it to work...I still can't feel my legs, but in the long run it is worth it!!! The personal trainer did his job, eventhough I called him evil and the devil the whole session.  In my mind the first day I thought would be just discussing the plan and a light workout...I had jokes!!! He said he was just testing to see where I was, and to me I was at the bottom, but he says I was not the worst he has seen.  Gives me hope!

The test is tomorrow. I will wake up and will workout without him.  Yes I Can!!!

Tired of Being Obese!!!!

This is a very hard post for me to write.  I was sitting at my desk today and realized something...I am obese. Now...that statement could be looked at weird because how do you just all of a sudden realize you are obese???? That will be the discussion in the rest of this post. I wrote this as an accountability tool to me. I will start off by showing you pictures of me. Not the best pictures, but only ones I could find that show the change....

Now

Then

Yes the then picture I am half the size I am now (yes I said half) and it was taken my senior year of high school.  I do realize that I am 29 years old now and I will never be that same size again, but I posted to prove a point...I am fat, no obese now!!! Not good.  It is time to make a change. It is time for me to stop being in denial. My life and my health are too important. It is time out for excuses.

Why do I keep saying obese?? Because for the last few years I have justified it, said I am overweight, but in shape, said I am just fat, but no I am more than just fat...and that is not cool. I am tall and I always use that as an excuse. When I sit at my desk now I realize my stomach is getting in the way, when I try on clothes in my closet I realize they don't fit or they are a lot tighter, even in my shoes I can tell a difference, and all of this has to stop!!!

In the "then" picture I was a size 14 and almost had a flat stomach (remember I said almost). I was active in band and various activities. I was healthy.  Now I can get from point A to point B, I can climb a flight of steps, I can walk a distance, but do I always make it there without being out of breath....no (just being honest).  I workout in spurts, I eat right in spurts, and think about my health in spurts.  I have to be more consistent overall.  This is not just about physical appearance, but my overall health.  This has to be done!!!

I have done workouts, eat less, personal trainer, almost any and everything to lose weight....but I have a problem.  I am not consistent with it. I depend on other people to help me...this is about to change.  Starting today (was about to say tomorrow, because I was going out to dinner tonight) I will no longer wait for others or depend on others to do this for or with me.  I am doing this for me and I have to do this without expecting others being supportive or helpful.  I will do fine as long as I have a trainer but paying $200-400 a month can be expensive.  I have the information, I have and know what I need to do, now I just have to do it!!! And keep doing it!!!

Okay...the mission begins.  Yes I Can!!!!