Should a Guy's Job Matter???

Should a guy's job matter when it comes to being in a relationship??? I mean could a person with a college education and a career(not just a job) be compatible with someone who might only have a high school diploma or even less? Can a man be okay with his wife making more money than he does or more career driven than he is? Should a woman give a janitor a chance if she is say for example an accountant?

Dysfunctional Love

I started this blog on Myspace and decided to expound on it....

Why do people get into relationships out of their own issues? I mean why enter into a relationship to feel a void? I think relationships should compliment each other not complete each other. I was listening to my Ipod today and one of the songs from the CD that was inspired by Passion of the Christ came on. It was called Relearn Love. The words are so simple but so meaningful. I mean so many peole need to relearn what love actually is. I think in today's society love is so often confused with lust. I do believe when you have a twisted view of love you always end up getting hurt and sad to say you never understand why. When I talk about love I am talking love in all relationships, just not romantic ones. I think so many people's definition of love or idea of love is so dysfunctional and jaded that they have no clue...Just me venting, hadn't wrote in a while.

I was talking to a friend the other day and her life is a series of dysfunctional love...but what hurts she does not see it. She is actually content in jumping from relationship to relationship out of her own issues. Although she stays in relationships for long periods of time she does not heal before going to the next one, which creates a series of unfortunate events. What hurts about it all...she is now bringing a child into her chaos. You try to offer advice, but when she asks it is too late and she has already made the mistake. How can you help someone like this???

People often say that I am too picky and need to lower my standards when it comes to love, but the more that I look at other people's relationships I learn and I know what I want in a relationship. Will I have the peferct relationship? No, but I will try not to make the same mistakes I see so often. I am open to love, I am open to learn, but I am not open to dysfunction. I know we all have issues and have to deal with the them, but they do not need to be the basis of a relationship..

The Struggle

This past week I have been filled with a roller coaster of emotions. I mean so many good things have happened to me this past week and I am thankful for them, but...so many other feelings and emotions have surfaced and right now I do not know how to handle them. I want to talk to someone, but I can't. I want to be able to express so many things about how I am feeling, but no one to do so with. Life can be interesting and honestly my life surprises me day by day. I want to be able to tell people how I really feel, but I can't. I have such a fear of judgement, shock, disappointment, rejection, and hate. At this point in my life I can't take any of the above...

Last night I was reading the Bible and the scripture I was reading was Romans 7. Sometimes I have to go back to this because this is where I am a lot in my life. I mean how can I do what is wrong when I am trying to do right? How do I have this daily struggle to practice self discipline, but yet fall short in so many areas? I don't want to do what I do, but I continue to fall into the same trap? How does this cycle end? How do I stop beating myself up?

I think a lot of times I am worried about the opinions of others and that controls my actions, but I know I shouldn't. I need to be free to be me and express myself however I want. I think a lot of my actions are in response to what others expect of me? I know I shouldn't but I have made it habit.

Then I think about my friends...do they really know me or do they know the person I have created for them to know? Will they love me if they knew the whole truth? Will they accept me for me and not this person I have created? Will they hate me for lying to them for so long? I question how can I call them my friends when they don't see how much I am hurting inside?

I want to cry and let it all out, but I can't. The struggle I have within is becoming to hard to keep within, but I don't know if it could ever be let out....

It has been a while...

It has been a while since I have actually taken the time to write I real blog and a lot has been going on so I hope I don't bore you if you took the time to read this.

This past week I have been sick and I have been doing a lot of resting and thinking about things. I know I go periods of life where I ask myself why?? and I continue to ask myself why without answers. I truly feel that I am going through a season in my life where I am renewing myself from the inside out. I am discovering new things daily which I am not ready to share with the world. When I started blogging on here a lot of time I think I revealed too much of me which can be good and bad. What I have learned is to recognize my faults and improve them, realizing that I am not perfect nor is any one else, but each day we need to strive to become better people, we should not judge, but grow except people for who they are, because we as people can change no one. Life is short and we need to value each moment and realize and thank God for the position he has put you in to affect change in the world, because we were not put on this earth to be self indulgent despite what society says.

The Struggle Within

Within me there is a constant struggle to do what is right. I mean it is a struggle that goes against everything that I have been taught and I have been fed my whole life. Have I lived my life a lie? Have I become what others want me to be just to get by in life?? I know I have issues, we all do, but will I be able to come. My father died still dealing with his, I don't want this to happen to me. I want to be able to conquer this. I mean why do I have to learn the hard way? I mean I knew I should not have introduced it into my spirit, but it is there now and I am having the hardest time letting go. A friend made a statement yesterday, or rather an action, and it made it even worse. She meant to do me no harm, but it did. She does not realize how I internalize statements like that. Is this a phase I am going through??? I honestly don't know, but I am constantly asking my self why, why, why. I mean it should be simple to just stop thinking about it, but I can't, I can't. If I could I would, but I can't. Life is so interesting. This struggle within is consuming my thoughts, my mind, and my soul. Can I let it go, or will it always be a part of me?

Does the end justify the means?

Last night I was watching the conclusion of Hip Hop versus America on BET (been trying to catch it since it aired) and it brought up the topic of video "models." There were so many topics that spun out of this dialogue, but this one stuck out to me. They had Melyssa Ford, a video "model," TI, Nelly, Andre Crouch, and Michael Eric Dyson. All of them made very interesting points. Ms. Ford stated she just did videos for extra money while she was in school and to pursue her education. Is this ok? Can you degrade yourself for a dollar now and expect the world to except you as the next great leader of tomorrow?? When the pictures or videos of you come up when you are running for mayor of Atlanta or interview to become the CEO of a major corporation will they understand that you just did that to get yourself through college? Is it alright for the drug dealer to sale drugs to support his education or support his family? Does his end justify his means? A friend on facebook posted an article about a teacher having her children do an assignment advertising the pros of slavery and we were like are you serious? Is the mighty dollar the driving force behind what we do even if it gets rid of our standards? The rappers even glorify sex, drugs, and money, but say it is okay as long as they are giving back to the community in the spare time. It is ok for a community center or non-profit to except the one million dollar donation from Nelly or TI, eventhough a lot of their videos and lyrics are promoting what they are trying to combat in today's youth in their center?

I do not think the end always justify the means. One of my own personal thoughts is that sometimes you have to work harder to get where others have got, is it fair, no, but life is not fair. I might have to work 12 hours to get the same pay as a person who works 10 hours. It might take me 10 years to graduate from college flipping burgers at McDonalds when it only takes the stripper 4, just because she makes her money faster. Might take me 10 years to save a million dollars working as a social worker, when it take the financial analyst 5, but I get to go home at night and rest because I know I am in my purpose and I am not stressed. These are just a few broad examples. People really need to think about is it really worth it?

My point in saying all this is to just think about why we do what we do? Is it ok to sell our morals and souls out just to meet an end, then say I had to do it to get to where I am? I started talking about video "models" and rappers, but it is not only in that line of work. Is your main goal on your job the dollar and to get it by any means? Just my thoughts and vents.

Shake the Haters Off!!!

I got this inspiration from what I found out to be a slogan of the newly reelected mayor of the GREAT city of Memphis. I will not get into my view on Memphis politics today, because that can be a lonnnnnnnnng blog, but I digress. The word "hater" has been coming up a lot lately in a lot of people's mouths and honestly I am tired of it. I understand that "haters" will be out there, but why are we so focused on them??? I mean is your soul goal in life to get haters? If I am doing well that is by the grace of God, but my complete motivation for doing well should not be prompted by those that hate. I would say even in the church the word haters is becoming a common theme when people talking about their blessings and what God is doing in their life...I am going to be blunt, How can I hate on your when you are flipping burgers at McDonald's and riding the bus????(simple example, don't think too deep, but you get the picture). I am just being real, because most of the people who get to shouting on the the term "haters" at church have the quality I just stated. Then they view haters in a materialistic way, which is another subject in itself. Why are we worried about the people who become so called jealous of what we have in life and what we are doing?? I am not saying that the haters do not exist, but the emphasis on them in society has become crazy.

Then I get to the point of why do people hate. What is the point? I am a believer in what is mine is mine and what yours is yours(not getting to the point of sharing and helping others). Just like you got it I can get it, I might have to work harder and it might take longer, but I can get it...if it is meant for me. Life is too short and there are so many more things that we as human beings should focus on. It is not to say a person has a moment of jealousy, we are human, it happens, but to continuous jealousy over something you can not control does not make sense.