Gossiping...Lesson Learned

Learned, or observed a valuable lesson over the past week. Gossiping rather spreading or listening is not cool. While I was in college I was not a gossiper, but I know everything. I would sit and listen to tons of information and would not spread it, but if asked I knew the answer. I was at one time given the nickname "Da 411." Glad those days are over...so I thought.

This past weekend I mentioned some information to a friend in casual conversation and watched it spread before my eyes into gossip, did not make me feel good at all and it was never my intention. If I had of thought about what I was saying before I said it, it would have never come out. The information was not hurtful, but it was not my place to release the information....Lesson Learned!!!

This week at work another scenario happened and I felt I was placed in an awkward position. I was not the spreader of gossip, but I listened. The fact that is was in the work place also made it weird. The awkward position I was put in still is irritating me....Did I necessarily do anything wrong no, but the actions of a gossiper affected me and not happy about it. This time I was on the outside looking in of how gossip affects people and how they spread so quickly. Just because you hear something does not mean it is true...Lesson Learned!!!

I guess the moral of this story is that gossiping is not cool and if you are passive about it is not helping the situation. I am good justifying or rationalizing almost anything I do, I can really come up with ways to justify or explain gossiping, but in the end...it is still not cool.

Family

Assumptions are on hold for now....This past weekend I went to Atlanta to spend some time with some friends and I met some family for the first time. It was a great experience and it made me think about some things. I love my family...the good and the bad.

I have a very interesting family dynamic, but it has helped to mold and make me into the person I am today. Long story short...I was raised by both my mother and father and grew up having and older sister that had cerebral palsy and was in a wheel chair her entire life. I have had extended family from cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, grandfather, and so on.

When you look at this picture this is what is left of my immediate family. My sister died while I was in college...when I tell people they are like awe, but I am like God blessed her to see 23 years old when the doctors said she would not live past 6 months. I love my sister and miss her, but she is in no pain. My father...My parents were married up until my freshman year of college then they got divorced. My father struggled with alcoholism that got bad in my teen years. He eventually died a couple of years ago. It was sudden and a shock, but that is how life is sometimes. Who is left now is my mother and me. We love each other and we have each other's backs through the ups and downs. We are not perfect. We fight, argue, and disagree, but we know how to squash the madness. I love her and she is my biggest supporter.

Back to what inspired this blog...the family I met this weekend was my family on my mother's father's side of the family. I have talked to a couple on the phone over the years and only met one face to face twice my whole life. When I met the family it just made me think about how family is important. Although we had never met before and really did not know each other they welcomed me in with open arms. The meeting was short, but it made me think about my family and how much I love them all. They are not perfect, but they are my family and I love them ALL!!!

Random Thought

Sitting at my desk and this question popped in my head.

Do you think it is alright for a girl to ask a guy out on a date?

That's all...

Assumption #1 (Relationships)

Yesterday I wrote a blog on assumptions and stated that I would write about assumptions people usually make about me. The first one I decided to write about is relationships. I think this will be a hard one for me to talk about and was going to avoid it, but decided to just let it flow and see what happens. I write to get things out, sometimes things don't make sense, but oh well.

For me relationships are interesting...I won't go into a lot of details, but I am very unique in my experiences and most people have no clue what I think about relationships. When discussing relationships I offer my thoughts when I feel inclined to, but most people don't understand or listen, oh well.

A few years ago I made a list of everything I wanted in a mate, I honestly do not know where that list is, but I do remember that most of the things were not superficial which shocks most people. I think one day I will rewrite the list and might even add a few things. We will see.

But one thing most people assume that I want in a relationship is a man with money, so not true. People assume because I like (okay...love) to spend money that a person that I am in a relationship with should be able to have money. I am not saying I want someone that is broke, but is not a top priority for me. I work hard for what I want and I want the other person to do the same. My friends so I can be bougie (still can't spell that word) and will not talk to someone who might be a mechanic cashier, janitor, or so one...you get the picture. Once again not true!! I love to have conversations about various topics and I like to associate with people who can do the same. I love to read and challenge my brain and would like a person who can do the same. Is that too much to ask?

I just touched on a couple of things people assume about me and what I want in a relationship...There are so many things that go into making a relationship work and so many things that I think about when it comes to relationships that I could go on and on. I did not want to be too transparent on this blog because don't know who might be reading, but just put out a couple of thoughts.

Right now I am not in a relationship and I am cool with that...most of the time. I have my moments, but it has allowed me time to work on focus on me. We are all works in progress. Keyshia Cole (who I think can't sing at all) has a song with the words "you complete me," This is NOT what I want in a relationship. You do not complete me, you compliment me. I am whole and want you to be whole to. I got your back and I am down for you and your vision, but if you can't live or function when I am not there...not good.

Okay, I am done for now. I think the next assumption people make about me that I will write about is that when I am out in groups I am not having fun...didn't know how to word it completely, will explain when I write next. I am trying to write and read more. Right now reading having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, great book by Joanna Weaver.

Assumptions....

I remember there was a day when I was in band class, 5th or 6th grade and my band instructor, Mr. Holcomb made a statement that I will never forget. When you assume you make an ass out of u and me. This statement is so true. I am learning in my life that you assume nothing about anyone or any situation. When you do most of the time it does not turn out the way you expect.

When you assume nothing you go into situations with no preconceived ideas or notions. You are more open to the situation and to me that works out better for all involved. Assuming causes prejudices, no being completely open, and a lot of problems that can be avoided.

Most people make assumptions about me and I find them very, very funny. What is sad people have no clue. Goes back to the title of my blog. If people would take the time to ask questions and not assume so much you might learn more about the people that you encounter on a day to day basis.

Started writing this based of a blog I read earlier and just got to thinking. I think I am going to do a series of blogs about the assumptions that people make about me, I will be a little bit more transparent than I have been in the past. I think the first assumption I will dispell is on relationships....don't know when I will publish, but coming soon.

I am trying to write more and get more out....more to come.