Saturday Morning Muses: The Start

This morning as I sit in bed I think about writing, what do I want to say?  In attempts to do better about blogging I have decided that Saturday Morning Muses will be my regular posts...a way to start my weekend and get thoughts off chest of how the week went. It won't be my only blog posts, but will me way of at least blogging once a week.

Often times Saturday morning I wake up and I am in my bed just thinking wondering why my bed is holding me hostage, what am I going to do for the day, what is going on wrong (or good) with my life. I know I have to get up and be an "adult" but so often (as I am doing now) I just stay in bed thinking "I don't wanna!!!!!"  So now I will write....

I will keep this going, I will get thoughts and feelings out that I have been keeping inside. I am going back through old posts and seeing how much I have changed and grown that I realize more and more why continuing to blog or write my thoughts is important. Rather people read them or not, my way of letting things out.

Enjoy the ride :-)

It has been a while

This morning I got up and was really like I truly have not blogged in a while. Not on any of my blogs. I began to think about why I started blogging in the first place and wondering if I should continue.....the answer to that is yes.

Think this blog over the years has been a safe place for me. No judgment, not rules, just a space for me to get out thoughts. Right now, good or bad, that is really what I need to do.  I need to step away from this "life" I have created and just get back to what makes me think, what makes me happy, what makes me feel free.  I might not always make sense on here, but it helps, it makes sense to me.

Writing in a space where people don't really know you who read what you write because they stumble across your blog or just find what you say interesting is good for me.  Hopefully someone who reads what I write might find something good for them too.


Life is taking an interesting turn I would say and I honestly don't know which direction I will go in.  What I do know it is time for me to just do me. Fuck what others think and just live. Easier said than done, but it is a goal.....I can only be me, take it or leave it.

I wanna love you

This title came to me while I was working on my Random Thoughts blog and figured since I had a block just go with it.

I do wanna love you, but it is not that simple. Last night I had convo with a cousin on why we won't work.....it hurts, but it is life. When two people have an attraction to each other but life just doesn't have it in the cards. I want love to be simple, I want love to be with you, but don't think it can happen.

Are you worth the risk? I really want to love you, all of you, but I can't.....

That topic...

I thought about what I would write all week. I know the topic I should write about, but I don't know if I am redraft yet. Although very few people read my blog (if any) not sure if I am ready to share.

Ever think about the life you live? Is it you or are you living to please others? Are you being your true authentic self? These are questions I have been toying with for a while now. Don't have the answers and don't know where this train of thought will lead me. What I do know is that it is scary.

The topic.....it is in draft and maybe one day I will have the courage to write, but for this day even starting post is a step, small step, but a step.

What do you really want in a relationship?

Saw the below meme today and I was like this sums it up. What we say we want and what we date usually don't correlate. I mean why can't we see this?

Unlovable?

Having a rough week and the thought "am I lovable?" has crossed my mind several times and it is scary. I often wonder if someone will ever love me? Take me for me?

Don't know if this feeling will go away, but right now it is constant. Wish I could write more, wish I could verbalized more how this post came to be, but right now......I can't 

It's just hair

I have recently started to get my hair done on a more regular basis and the reactions I have been getting have made me irritated. I mean it's just hair.  White people are fawning over it, black people keep saying if they had hair like mine. I mean rather her is curly or straight it is just hair.

I wish more people would appreciate their hair in whatever state it is. Straight, curly, afro, bobbed, shaved. It is all just hair.