Change

I am still alive and I continue to suck at blogging consistently.  I have no excuse.....I am open up blogger and I just don't have the words to express what is going on in my life right now. Life is not bad, but it is not good either.

Lots of change is happening and I honestly do not like change.....I know it is for the better, but I am never good at it.  Hope everyone is doing well.  One thing I will say is I am looking forward for the future. Change is ahead.....

Sidenote I FINALLY got my tattoo :-) Shhhhh!!!!

This is before it was healed, need to take a new picture. It is on the back of my neck so hard to take a self pic.

Look forward to writing again.....think that is a part of my problem, not letting things out.

Tagged Post

I was going through some blogs I tagged and found this great tag post at Lesapea Musings (great blog check out when you have time) so I decided to do :-)

Who is your favorite Author?

James S. Guitard

What is your favorite book?

Chocolate Thoughts

great book on the thoughts of men in different stages of their lives

What is your favorite movie?

Who's the Master?

Who is your favorite actor or actress?

Idris Elba, fell in love with him with The Wire

Who is your celebrity crush?

Michael Ealy, he is just beautiful!!!

If you could as God one question....what would that be?

Why Me?

Why did you start blogging?

Started in college to get some things out, done it on and off ever since then.

Which of the Disney Princesses are you most like?

Cinderella

What is your eternal age?

I guess 25 since I have been saying that is my age for the longest;-)

Congressman John Lewis

Last night as a part of Vanderbilt University's MLK series the keynote speaker was Congressman John Lewis. He was an excellent speaker and very entertaining and informative.  To be in the same room with one of the pioneers of the Civil Rights movement was amazing to me!!!

So as I was waiting and reading on my tablet I decided to tweet what I was doing and I mentioned Congressman Lewis and to may surprise I received this to me phone as I was waiting to hear him speak.

I was like are you serious? He actually tweeted me back! Now you can say this was from one of his people, but I will continue to believe that he tweeted me :-) 

But as I sat there listening to him speak, listening to his accounts of what made him do what he did and some of the things he encountered I just sat there in awe!



There were several things that I took from his speech.

1. He was 18 when I expressed a desire to work the movement, 18!!! What is my (your) excuse for not taking a stand for what you believe in or standing up for social injustices in the world?
2. He worked in a movement that did great things without the Internet, without all the things we have been afforded, he was the son of a sharecropper! What is our excuse?
3. He studied ALL religions and their methods of non-violence. He surrounded himself with people who studied and were devoted to the cause at hand. Have I (you) done that?
4. He still believes in the ways of non violent protest, do you think I (you) could stand and take what he went through and still be able to react non-violently?
5. We still need to foster the "beloved community" that Dr. King spoke about so often.....are we?

These are just a few things that I took from his speech. Still processing some of the things that were said and will be making steps to improve myself and my community by what I have been inspired by.

Don't Put Me in a Box

Why do people try to label you and put you in a box? I am me, I am different. Deal with it.  Some of the thoughts that I have had the past month or so have been outside of the usual me, but I am becoming okay with that.  Life is what you make of it and how you respond.

I realize I am an ever evolving person and I think life is better that way. One person in my life recently said that he feels that I really don't who I am and I am still discovering who that person is. I have to agree and disagree with this statement. I know who I am, but like I said I am ever evolving.  I am learning, no questioning that if how I feel will be understood by others.

Recently I told a male friend that I have given up on men, not becoming a male basher, but tired of the hurt of wanting and nothing happening......take that statement as you will. One person said I need to put myself out there, which I think I do....but nothing. It hurts, but I am slowly coming to grips with it.

Above it is recent picture of me.  Hair looked okay and I liked my smile eventhough my face is blurred. Cheese :-)

I am also admitting to myself that I overthink and question everything. Which can be difficult. I question people, motives, religion, and beliefs. I question why people do what they do why people who they feel.  There HAS to be a reason and logic behind everything in my mind. I NEED to know.....I get frustrated when I don't know....not a good place to be.

As  you have read my thoughts are random.....if you follow my blog you should know this by now. If you still follow me, thank you!!! I am more on twitter and tumblr, but as the year is winding down I really do believe that I will be posting on here more. 

Have a GREAT DAY!!!! Feel free to comment, also suggest some blogs you follow that I might find interesting.

A Conversation [ErykahBadu/J.Scott/Roots]

New Motto in Life

Just because I am not......does not mean I don't want to.

This is how I feel a lot of things in life these days. I think it has to do some with self discipline and some with afraid to just let things flow....

Below is a list of the things that I am referring to, but I will preface it by saying #dontjudgeme

1. I am not cursing you out.....does not mean I don't want to
2. I am not going to sleep with you....does not mean I don't want to
3. I am not going to buy that purse that is way out of my budget.....does not mean I don't want to
4. I am not going to kiss you and admit to you how I truly feel about you....does not mean I don't want to.

That is it for now. What are some things you are not doing that you want to do.....

Mystical Magical Creatures

The other day this was my facebook status

why do men (and women) create these mystical & magical creatures in their mind that they believe they will find as a mate?

People blamed on Disney and other things, but it made me think....why do we do this??? I mean we have these preconceived notions of what we want in the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with.  Below I will list some of the things I have heard.....

Women should be:

1. Beautiful
2. Skinny
3. Independent
4. Porn Stars
5. Making 6 figures
6. Make me look good
7. Take care of kids
8. Keep the house clean
9. No kids

Men should be:

1. Fine
2. Rich
3. Working
4. Big Feet (you know what I am saying)
5. The perfect gentleman at all times
6. Allways attentive
7. Making at least 6 figures (not the same as rich)
8. No kids
9. College Educated

What is on your list for the perfect mate? Are your expectations realistic or have you created the same magical creature I lot of people have?

Just some thoughts.....