Thursday, October 14, 2010

Black Marriage Negotiations

This video was posted by a friend yesterday on facebook. I did not comment, because I had no words. Then several of my male friends reposted (surprisingly it was posted by unrelated friends). I sometimes feel that I am naive in the world, because I can't believe that a lot of women think like this. I get frustrated because most of the qualities this woman says she wants in a man or not want, most women I know don't think like that.

I am pretty sure this video was made by a guy, because it puts the black woman in a bad light, I wonder if a woman will make a counter video....that would be interesting. One of my friends said it best.....if you want to marry Beyonce, then you need to become Jay-Z.

But based on this video I decided to list some of the things that I want in a mate. Also made a list of things that are not important that some men feel woman want. List is not all inclusive, but some things that I desire. A while ago I wrote a list of about 30 specific things that I want in a mate, and the few friends that I told about the list asked were the things superficial....and my answer was no. (although there are some things that I want that are superficial, but they are not deal breakers, just playful someone who can sing).

Ask if you want more detail, tried to keep characteristics short

  1. Intelligent (does not necessarily mean college educated)
  2. Wise
  3. Caring
  4. God fearing
  5. Be willing to wait for marriage to have sex
  6. Knows purpose and working in it
  7. Fun
  8. Good money manager
  9. Giving
  10. Able to Communicate
  11. Able to take the lead
  12. Compatible with each other
  13. Healthy
  14. Supportive, as I am supportive to you (I got your back, you got mine!)
Not Important:
  1. I don't care how much money you make
  2. Looks are not important (although I have to be able to look at you)
  3. What you do for a living (as long as it is legal and ethical and does not compromise what I stand for)
  4. I don't have to take charge, I am so down for you being the lead
  5. Your past, as long as you have changed (if it was bad)
  6. What kind of car you drive
  7. Rather you are college educated or not
These are just a few things that came in my mind after watching this video and past experiences.

What are some of the qualities you possess in a mate?

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