Screams!!!!

I usually say no texting or tweeting while drinking.....but might need to add blogging to that list cause I am about to vent!

The narrow minds of some people irritate me!!! If people would listen to what they are saying and truly think about it. I believe everyone has the right to their opinion, but when your opinion is full of hate and contradiction???? It gets to me!

Me a reforming judgmental person I see how my words and actions of past and sometimes present can be hurtful and I am trying to stop, but when people are blatant and stupid with no desire to change or look at situation from a different perspective......just don't get it!!

A person of faith that is growing, learning, and questioning daily I just don't understand how you can say you are about love and hold do much hatred and ill in your heart.  In one of my recent random thoughts I said you don't have to force your beliefs on me and I shouldn't force mine on you....agree to disagree. Just because you shout out me louder is not going to make me change my thoughts or beliefs.

I think I am done venting for now......just needed to let off some steam 

30 + 1

Friday is my 31st birthday....I am kind of excited. Last year around this time my grandmother had just passed and I was not in the best of moods. This year has been rough. Didn't accomplish all that I wanted to, but I did make some important changes in my life.  Life has been difficult, faced with some challenges I never thought I would, but guess what.....I am still alive.

My faith has been tested (still being tested) and I have questioned a lot of what I believe and what I have been taught. I do not know the answers to all the questions I have in my head, but I have more clarity. I still believe in God, just question a lot of what people do in the name of religion. Ritual without knowledge. I believe it is okay to question to gain understanding, an educated faith is a powerful thing, people act so much out of emotion, but when it comes to defend their faith....fall very short.

I am slowly finding my own path....

My thoughts on Good Friday

Today is Good Friday that is celebrated by Christians. Day use to remember the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.  This morning as I was starting my day I was checking emails and checking facebook and realized a lot of friends posted statuses about today. Statuses that inspired, made you think, and even made you laugh (appropriately). 

As I was going through the statuses I began to think about what this day means to me. I have said before my faith is a big part of my life. To be honest lately I have had major battles with my faith. Not that I didn't believe, but as I attempted to learn more and able to defend all areas of my faith I began to question so many things. Which I think people should do...another blog (read here). 

As I think about this day I begin to think of some of my struggles over the last few months.  I remember when I saw the Passion of the Christ in movie theaters when it first came out. You heard the story so many times, but to see the visualization without any censors...gets to you. Those images, that story sticks in my mind to this day. I think about the price that he paid on a consistent basis. I mean I ask myself  "you did this for jacked up me?" I am so thankful!!

I have said all this to say although today is a day set aside to remember the price that He paid, let us not forget this the rest of the year. 

Defending what you believe in....

I was having a convo with one of my best friends when I left church yesterday and I recurring theme came up....People thinking and knowing for themselves what they believe in.  I will be the first to say that I am not where I think I should be in this, but it is a process and I am learning and reading daily to improve....which I think most people are not.

My friend and I use to go to the same church and did the majority of our college lives and I still go there as an adult. She is now married and lives in Atlanta so she goes to a new church.  One thing that irritates us both is sometimes people will be quick to quote the pastor....but can't quote the Bible.  They will say:

• My pastor says....
• Bishops says....
• Whoever says....

Shall I continue??? My point is people hear things and never question them.  I mean if your pastor told you that your hair was green would you take him at his word or think, hey my hair has always been black, let me go look for myself???  I value the roles of pastors and leaders, but I think people become people followers and they don't study the Bible for themselves.

Now...this being said I strongly believe in respecting other people's faith, religions, and beliefs.  I think more and more of society and the world need to learn to agree to disagree....peacefully.  Everyone has to come to their own understanding and I can't and I will not force my beliefs on someone else and I hope they will respect me the same way.  I do think a problem becomes when people cannot defend what they believe in. 

I can only speak from my perspective, but I think a lot of times Christians are not able to defend their faith...including me in the past (still a process).  If you believe in something you should be able to defend what you believe with a valid argument.  If I make the statement that private school kids are smarter than public school kids I need to be able to show documentation and test scores to prove it (I don't believe this...I am a public school kid!). But I should not just make a blanket statement or believe in something that I am not able to back up.

I think I am done...just wanted to pose the question are you able to defend what you believe in?

Something New

This is the title of a movie that came out a while ago with Sanaa Lathan. The movie talked about a successful black woman who wants to fall in love and get married to a successful black man, but she falls for a white man. I thought the movie was excellent and it talks about a topic that I think a lot of people think about.

This week I was having a convo with my mom and she once again tried to slip in that she wants to see me get married and have a family (I do too...one day). I always joke and tell her she will find out when she gets the invitation. Some of my friends and I have the convo from time to time about how everyone so wants to see you get married even if it is the wrong person. Why is this to so many people the ultimate goal in life??? Like you are half a person if you do not have a significant other in your life.

I think as a young girls grow up they always have this vision for their life and if you look at your life now I am pretty sure that it has not turned out completely the way you envisioned. They dream to go to college, get a job, get married, and have kids...at least that was my dream or the dream my family has put in me. I think being black it was always assumed that I would be with a black man. I remember a convo me and my father had as we were leaving the grocery store and he saw an interracial couple walking in the parking lot and he said if I brought a white man home that he would kill him...and knowing my dad I would never want to test that statement.

I am 28 years old now and I am my own person and have grown to have my own beliefs and views in life. I feel that love is love no matter what color the person is. Do I want to marry someone of my own race??? Yes, but I am open. I don't like when people say they only date a certain race because you are closing the door to a person who might be everything else that you find attractive in a mate. Since Barack Obama has been elected someone made the statement that if a black (African) man did not end up with a white woman then we would not have Barack as the first black president. Love is love, people have to accept it or leave it. Now I do believe that I have more in common with someone of my own race, but that does not have to do with the color of their skin, I think it is more of a cultural thing more than anything. When it comes down to it skin color is a physical trait and does not have anything to do with how a person treats you or who the person is in the inside.

Just some of my thoughts...I woke up this morning and was procrastinating. The work week is started. I love my job, but I think I enjoy my weekends of leisure more. Plus...got rear ended last week and have to handle all the things with getting my car fixed, never fun :( Ok...that was an aside. Hope you enjoyed reading :) I have a lot on my mind lately and probably be writing a lot soon, but just have to get my thoughts together.

Can you Force Morality???

This is a topic that I have been thinking about a lot. Can one force a person to have moral values?? Can we legalize a person's morals? I looked up the definition of morals and the dictionary stated that morals as relating to the principles of right and wrong behavior. Can what a person think is right and wrong be relative. I actually heard the statement of a porn star on television and she stated "that she has very high morals and there are certain things she would not do...." I think this prompted me to think about this topic even more. I am a believer in not forcing my faith and my beliefs on anyone and my faith and beliefs are what I consider my way of determining what is right and wrong. So in a sense if I don't force my faith on anyone I should not force my view of morals on someone? But I am not saying that we should just allow people to run around and do whatever. I am just posing some questions that I have in my head, not to say that I have formulated a complete answer. When I write I just attempt to get some things off my chest that I have been thinking about lately.

Being a social worker working with people from all backgrounds and causes me to look at situations differently by attempting to be nonjudgmental with people and meeting them where their need us. In saying this in our society who defines morality and why has it in my opinion become so "out there?" Has the fact the people have skewed morals so much caused society to take a turn for the worse? If we force morality by law is that going to help or make things worse? These are just some of the the questions and things I have been thinking about lately and just wanted to get other people's opinions.