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Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Words and actions

I don't even know where to start. Couldn't sleep and a lot on my mind and all I could do was blog. So honestly don't know where this post will go.

I never thought words could hurt so much.....for a person that always wants to know they why, I really want to know why you made the statement and the fact that you said it was not important hurts even more. You said it so to me it is important. Words mean things! Not only so words mean things, but the actions that go along with those words mean things and your lack of action hurts even more.

I don't ask for much and couple with the one thing I have asked of you and your recent words......I just don't know. My past and my present I am learning so much and right now coming to terms with the lessons I am learning are hard. It should not be this difficult!!!!!

One thing I have believed my whole life what is important to you make time for me, period! So when your words and your time don't add up it confuses me and I hate confusion.

So what will happen? I don't know, but just needed to let that out. Hopefully I can get some sleep before work in the morning, but doesn't look promising :-(

More blogging in 2015 is a must........

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Assumptions

I remember when I was in elementary school and my first band instructor wrote the word ASSUME on the board and then said when you assume you make an ass out of you and me....get it? This has stuck in my head ever since then.

Why am I writing about assumptions? Because lately I have been thinking about the assumptions so many people make. Rather it be regarding me, others, or assumptions about things in general. I recently was in a meeting and as people talked and voiced their opinions I could not help but think about the assumptions people made when trying to defend their statements. I left that meeting really thinking about what assumptions do to people and how the can be very bad.

Here are some of the common assumptions that people have about me.....


  1. nice
  2. mean
  3. straight
  4. gay
  5. nerd
  6. anti-social
  7. naive
  8. innocent
I could keep going......but I won't. The ones I have listed are the ones that irritate me the most.  People make these assumptions before they even take the time to get to know me and seem shocked when I turn out the way that they assumed.  

I think the world would be a better place if assumptions were not made and if you want to know something or find out about something just ask. How hard is that????


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Why? Why? Why?

After my last blog post there have been a lot of things going on in my head and my heart....One big question is why?

1. Why do I feel this way?
2. Why is it hard for me to be completely open and honest?
3. Why don't people understand?
4. Why do I let YOU get to me like this?
5. Why am I so different?
6. Why? Why? Why?

One thing I realize when I blog I get things out, but when I get things out I have to deal with them. I have to deal with why I am still attracted to you. I have to deal with what I have to work on internally. I have to deal with what are you to me, I mean are we just friends? I don't just a lot of things I am not necessarily ready to deal with.

This evening was a rare evening when I had nothing to do, no work, no meetings, no activities, no errands to run. So what did I do? I came home and read and watched tv. I came home to "me time" and that left me to my thoughts and my feelings....not always good. My mind begins to drift off to the what ifs and the past and what will be the outcome in the future....seems harmless, but not really.

How do I process these things without becoming self destructive. One of my coping mechanisms is food which has led to me being way to big so I must stop. So I think now....When I have the desire to eat when I know I shouldn't be eating I will write a blog no matter how long or small, no matter how random or nonsensical it is, just write to get things out. What else can I do? I am going to have to continue to think on this.

Think this is it for now....random I know :-)

Monday, August 5, 2013

Screams!!!!

I usually say no texting or tweeting while drinking.....but might need to add blogging to that list cause I am about to vent!

The narrow minds of some people irritate me!!! If people would listen to what they are saying and truly think about it. I believe everyone has the right to their opinion, but when your opinion is full of hate and contradiction???? It gets to me!

Me a reforming judgmental person I see how my words and actions of past and sometimes present can be hurtful and I am trying to stop, but when people are blatant and stupid with no desire to change or look at situation from a different perspective......just don't get it!!

A person of faith that is growing, learning, and questioning daily I just don't understand how you can say you are about love and hold do much hatred and ill in your heart.  In one of my recent random thoughts I said you don't have to force your beliefs on me and I shouldn't force mine on you....agree to disagree. Just because you shout out me louder is not going to make me change my thoughts or beliefs.

I think I am done venting for now......just needed to let off some steam 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

That person that gets you.....but doesn't

Do you ever have that person in your life that you feel comfortable telling everything and truly understands you.....but doesn't get you?  I have a person like that in my life. I finally made the decision that the negatives outweight the positives and decided to just let go because obviously I was not important to them.

Well.....it is not so easy. I still care and I really want to ask the person why? Why do you keep doing what I say irks me, why do you keep doing the one thing that  I hate!!!!! I have to let go, I have to stope letting you get to me this. What is crazy....for a perston that gets me.....you don't

Monday, March 4, 2013

Day 20: This Pic

This morning my best friend posted the pic below on my facebook wall and it honestly gave me life.....why???/ Because it was already being tested it and it was barely 8:00am!!!! Hope this pic inspires you as much as it inspired me :-)


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Why Can't it Just Be Simple!!!!

A recent series of events makes me wonder why things are so complicated? I mean why do people make things so hard. If you like someone or want to be with someone tell them! Why do you have to play games, why do you have to flirt. Just say it I LIKE YOU!!!

People always say that life is complicated, why does it have to be? Can't we just be unfiltered and say what is on our minds, do what we want to do, and just be free? No, because that would be too much like right. I am not saying get rid of rules and structure, but I think too many people hide behind them.

This all I can say for right now......We shall see where this goes. Good Morning :-)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Who inspires you?


Last Friday my mother called me and informed me that me first elementary school principal had died in a car accident. An 18 wheeler hit her head on.  This shook me up more than I thought. What also bothers me was that I found out that she was at my grandmother's funeral and I didn't even get to see or speak to her.  When I heard the news of her death it made me think about who she was in my life. She was a church member, mom's sorority sister, family friend, and a role model. I remember vividly the one time I got in a fight in elementary school and how she spoke to me and how I was punished. The fact that she knew my mom that came up in the speech to me "what would your mother think?" Already knowing that my mother had been called and was on her way to pick me and a butt whopping is waiting for me when I got home.

This was a story I remembered about her growing up, but now as I am an adult I also begin to thing about the influence she had on my as a child. She was a black woman with poise, elegance, and authority, a woman I inspire to be.  She set an example for a lot of young girls to see, considering at the time the school was in the "hood" and girls might not have seen those types of role models in their home. Although I might not have realized it then, I know now that many of the women and men that I saw growing up have been inspirations to me.

From my aunt Mary who didn't have a high school education, but was an avid reader and a lady of faith. She worked hard every day and loved unconditionally.  To Mr. Branch who was the first music teacher I ever had in school and who ended up being my piano teacher in later years, showed me a love for music that continues to this day. To Ms. Yancy at my church who served faithfully who had a humbleness about her that still inspires me. Although we had few interactions when we did interact it left an impression. To Ms. Thompson my first Sunday school teacher, who did not look at my crazy in my first day of Sunday school when I asked her what was before in the beginning (always been a person who asks a lot of questions). To my grandmother who had a Master's degree from college when most black people were not even going to college. Or Professor Troxel my ONLY female college professor in the school of engineering while I was at Vanderbilt. She was not "stiff" like most of my professors were, you could tell she was a wife, a mother, a friend, AND a great engineer. She had a love for what she did and she balanced it well. Or Mrs. JuJu, as I like to call her, she has the loving title of my "white grandmother." Her life of faith and how she has lived her life financially responsibly (hard to put in words) has showed me so much. From loving others, to budgeting, and how to learn from our struggles.

I could probably go on and on and on about the people who have inspired me. There have been so many, and I take grains from all of them. They have helped shape me into who I have become today.  I am not perfect, but a work in progress....I grow daily and seek inspiration in everyone I encounter.....even the homeless people I buy papers from on my way to work, they have a story and they too give me inspiration.

So I pose this question to you.....Who inspires you?


Side note.....I have been in a funk lately....but I am really back this time, will write about later.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Church folk are scary sometimes



 I have talked about my faith on here a few times and I have also discussed some of the struggles I have had with my faith.  Today I really began to think about how some "church folk" scare me. Now what do I mean by that?  Well...if as Christians we are supposed to be representatives of Christ then why when I watch television or even people watch at church the most zealous people scare me?


I am not talking about the people who are passionate about their faith, but the people who are just plan crazy. I might be wrong for saying some of the things that I am saying, but just my thoughts and I am putting them out there. A while ago I wrote a post about an encounter I had with a lady at my church and honestly....she might be a really nice lady, but her demeanor and the way she looks and approaches you is a huge turn off. There is this other lady at church who goes around and just stares at you and then she shakes your hand then goes and sits down.  She just weirds me out. 


When I watch some of the religious folks on television I question how did you get a show and is this a good representative of Christ? Everyone has a past and everyone has a testimony, but if the way you present it or the way you look distracts from people hearing about it then what is the point?


I don't want to offer to many specific examples. I know people are still growing and people are different, but some things just don't make sense to me.


Just some more of my random thoughts....OH! On twitter I mentioned a bog post inspired by my best friend, this is not it. That one is still formulating in my mind...just can't grasp my thoughts yet. But is about if black men should defend and take up for black women.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Have You Ever Just Observed People?

Yesterday I was mentoring my teenagers and during the session when they were working in groups I just stood back and observed the people in the room.  I tend to do this a lot. Just like watching people and seeing how they interact with others. I love observing people when they have no clue that I am watching so that they don't change their behaviors and their actions. 

When I was observing a lot of things were going on in my mind. I often times get frustrated when I mentor because I care so much. I get frustrated with the adults because they sit around and do nothing and I get frustrated with the kids because they just don't get it. But out of my frustration I also get inspiration of how to change the existing mentality of the people that I am observing. If you see a problem....try to help fix it.

By no means do I think I have the ability to change a person, but I can, I think all people can help encourage growth in others.  I know personally I am not the same person I was a few years ago and I think differently which I think is a good thing and I got to this point by broadening my experiences and my perspective on things. How can I help someone if I can't understand or be able to reach them where they are?

Observations give you better insight and also help you understand more about a person or a situation.  Observations can be positive and negative, but they all work together to help see the bigger picture.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Don't Judge Me!!!


Back in the fall I went to visit a friend in Atlanta for a weekend and had a great time. When I got there we went out for drinks with some of her coworkers.  One of her coworkers we hung out with later that weekend also. One of her favorite phrases she said that had me crackin up was "Don't Judge Me." It was the way she said it and when she said it.  These words inspired this post.

In the past and sometimes in the present I struggle with judging people.  I have come a long way, but I still catch myself doing it and I do try to stop.  This being said I do think no one has the right to judge anyone else. We all have faults, weaknesses, and issues that we deal with daily.  We all are human and we are not perfect. Each of us has different belief systems and value systems and we can't judge people based on our own. People have to learn to agree to disagree....I think the world would be a better place if we could master this.

Lately I have been having various thoughts and ideas about how people view other people and how people treat other people.  They are a little drastic, but it is how I feel.  Still formulating some things, but I know soon things will become clearer. Time will reveal...

Just my thoughts! Have a superexcellentmarvelousstupendous day!!!

Monday, January 11, 2010

My Last Post...


My last post was very random and what I truly would call one of my venting posts.  I am glad I got some things out and now it is time to move on. This weekend I spent the majority of the time at my place thinking, cleaning, and focusing on getting rid of the clutter in my life.  This pic to the right was from a banquet I attended a few months ago.  I cut out the person standing with me out because I really liked my smile and the picture of me...

This weekend I realized I am beginning to focus on me. Not others, but me. Took me a while to admit this to myself because in some ways I think it is selfish.  I care and worry about others and I think I am realizing it is to my harm. I care too much.  I will not stop caring, but will put myself first and not worry about others, because I have come to realize that most of the people I care about and worry about....don't do the same for me. 

I love others and I love to see others happy...now it is time for me.  Time out for caring for people who don't feel the same.  What is crazy is these are supposed to be your close friends and family. Why do the people who are closest to you hurt you the most???

I am better, but not where I need to be...Letting go of people is much easier said than done.  When people don't back up their words with their actions....I am tired of making excuses and tired of being understanding.

The face above is a face that I want to see more often.  It is a face happiness, a face of joy. 

Friday, January 8, 2010

Alone????



This post will be very random and might not make sense, but I am just letting out some frustrations and thoughts that I have been having over the past couple of weeks.  I have been going through a lot, more than I wish to share with most people...which causes a lot of my frustrations. Why are people so selfish and settle for mediocrity???

Has a convo with a friend last week and I became so irritated because he could not see my point of view.  I have issues with people...which might seem crazy, but let me explain.  I love people and I want to see the good in people, but guess what people continue to let me down. I do not expect people to be perfect, but some things to me are common sense (I know the saying if sense was so common everyone would have it...which they don't).  I am not perfect and I have my issues too, and I continue to work on them and I try not to justify them. If I am wrong....I am wrong.  Just like when a parent goes to a child after they have done something they were not supposed to do....9 times out of 10 that child knew what they were doing was wrong and they chose to do it anyway. I got off in a tangent...but like I said I really have no theme to what I am venting about right now.

What bothers me the most right now is I really want to cut myself off from people....because every time I interact on a personal level with people I get hurt. What is weird I love working with people.  I love to mentor, I love to interact with people and I love to help people.  What is crazy I am in the zone when I volunteer or mentor, but as soon as I have personal (or deep...not to say I don't get deep with mentoring, but they don't get to know me on that level) interactions with people I am always the giver and never the recipient, if that makes sense.  I am tired of trying, I am tired of giving people the benefit doubt and attempting to be understanding. It is sad when the people who hurt you the most or the people who claim to love you the most....the word love should be backed up with actions. 

Do I really think I can do this...no, but the thought has crossed my mind on several occasions.  One friend once made the statement that people make time for what they want to do...I am tired of people's excuses, I am tired of being run over and taken for granted.

People always come up with New Year's resolutions and like to start or stop things when the new year roles around. Don't know if this is a good or bad thing.  Most people do not continue the things for the long run...

I think I am done venting.  Back to work.  ARGHHHH!!!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Why are Certain People in Your Life???

Last night I had a great text convo with a very dear friend...thought it would lead to a phone convo, but it was accomplished in a series of texts.  I have asked him the same question several times over and over in our friendship and he always avoids the answer or ends the conversation....this time it was different.  He actually responded to my text and did not ignore question and I was completely shocked.

The reason I asked the question was because I have begun to re-evaluate various relationships (friendship, work, associates, and others) in my life and beginning to ask myself why I am in the relationship??? I mean why are people in your life? Are they in it for reason, season, or a lifetime?  What good are they bringing to the relationship? Are you bringing any good into the relationship?  These are several questions I have asked myself lately and honestly....I do not know the answer for most people in my life, which brings me to my ultimate question...Why are they in my life?

Why do people stay in your life that do you more good than harm? I am realizing, or better yet accepting the fact that it is time to let some people go.  I have a handful of friends in my life that I can count on and no matter what I know they have my back. We may not always agree, we may not always get along, but in the end....I love them and they love me and we have each other's best interest in mind.  Sometimes the people that you have to let go have done nothing wrong, but their season is up and I am learning to accept that.  I can't force people to understand, I can only move on and do what is best for me and my life.

Time to make changes in my life, time for me to be stop being complacent and silent. 


Sunday, September 27, 2009

Please think for yourself.

I usually don't post on the weekend much, but this irritated me so bad today. Today on twitter Rev Run posted this:

"Men are like a deck of cards, u'll find an occasional KING, but most are Jacks!"

I paid no attention to it at first...then I went over to facebook and a few of my friends put this as their status...Then I began to think...There are just as many kings in a deck of cards as there is jacks....so his statement is flawed. Please correct me if I am wrong, even if I am it does not negate the point of this post.

I wrote all this to say. Just because a person says something does not mean it is true. Just because they sound good or sound smart does not mean it is right. When I was growing up my Saturday morning cartoons had an interlude that said "Great minds think alike...no great minds think for themselves."

People lets think!!!!

I am done...back to your regularly scheduled program.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Two Sides to Every Situation



With the recent interviewing of Whitney Houston on Oprah I have began to think about this topic more and more. People always like to believe one person's version of a situation versus another's depending on the circumstances. People like to take sides without hearing both sides. Even in our attempts to be honest...sometimes we are not. We can be jaded by situations and conveniently omit or forget parts that do not favor our stance.

I am learning to remember this in different situations I encounter...Not always good at it, but it is my goal. In interactions with other we have to see how or why the other person is responding to the situation the way they are. Their response might be based on past experience that might be bad or good. Not to justify their response, but it helps you approach the situation differently. An extreme example...You might encounter a person and you just reach out to tap them on the shoulder. Maybe they have been abused before the tap brings back memories...not good idea.

I think a lot of problems could be solved, a lot of confrontations can be handled more civilly, and relationships can become healthier if people take the time to see the other person's side. Not to say you will agree, or that you completely understand, but you have heard the other person out and you are able to hopefully reach a mutually acceptable conclusion with the situation or a better understanding of what has happened.