Why Men Lie...

Back from holidays and was following up on facebook posts and one of my friends posted the following video:



WTF??? Ok....As I watch the short video a few things cam to mind about the star of the video:

1. Why does he cover his face?
2. Where does he get his statistics from?
3. Why does he have on all red?

I decided to look at the census bureau and here are the facts. This does not account for availability but it does give generalized data. We can argue forever the lack of men and especially the lack of black men, but to me that is besides the point. This guy's argument in the video is because he has choices he has the right to lie.

If he uses the above mentioned argument it is alright to say someone leaves $1,000 on a counter you have the right to take it just because it is there even though you know it does not belong to you. He is saying you have the right to do wrong because you have choices...no it is called integrity, character, and honesty...great traits to have.

Also...women. If you know he lied to the woman before you why wouldn't he lie to you? Not all men are dogs and not all men lie, but if he has the mentality of the guy in the video why would you give him the time a day. Then...women why do you allow men to lie to you and you continue to take it??? Then...why would you cheat with a man knowing he is with someone else or being shady in life???

Ok...Just needed to let things out and ask questions. Would love feedback!

Am I the Only One???

Please watch the video then read the blog:



One of my friends posted this video on facebook and I was like "Are you serious???" I love working with kids and have been working with kids by profession and volunteering for years now. I have high standards for kids, my beliefs, not everyone agrees...Oh Well!!! Several people thought the post was cute and hilarious, I personally was like why does a child this young know the whole video???

Growing up my parents were strict, but they gave me direction. TV was not allowed, especially not long enough to learn a video. Then the words and the moves to the song...I am not a Beyonce hater or fan, but a child that age should not be doing the moves or even letting that music in her ears.

My thoughts are the parents should invest more time with the child and teach her something. One might argue that I do not if the child is a perfect student and learned the video in her spare time...not flying with me. Kids today usually spend more time watching TV than play games with friends, playing outside, learning...things that promote growth in children.

I am done venting....just my thoughts, you might beg to differ.

Her Heart

First thing Tuesday morning I woke up and downloaded the new Anthony Hamilton on I-tunes. This CD was a must have purchase and was fixed in the budget (trying to get better with this budgeting thing...I love spending money, but I do work hard for it so that is my justification). I love the CD!!! Last week I bought Musiq which I love too, but it took a few listens to find the tracks that I love. With Anthony Hamilton I had my songs on first listen which is very rare. Lately I have been going back to my first love...music.

There was one track on the CD that I makes me cry every time I listen to it...sad right?? That song is Her Heart. When you listen to the words to me it is a love song that inspires me which is very rare. When I listen to what is being said and the passion in his voice you feel the love he has for this woman....which today is rare, hate to say it. I truly believe to many people today fall in lust...not love. Sometimes loves comes eventually, but it takes time.

This man sees his woman crying from the hurt that he has caused her and he realizes how much she loves him and how much he loves her. Her heart is what he loves...Her inner being her soul, her personality. Her heart touched his heart. He sees the love she has for him and I think that so many people, men and women, miss this about the person who loves them unconditionally. The person who loves them through the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the highs and lows.

People always have their opinions on relationships and love, but do we really understand it fully? I mean do people really understand true love, unconditional love? A love that sees past all the flaws, all the hurts, and all the pains. I think people have this vision of what love is supposed to be based on movies, other people's relationships, and even songs, but they don't get to the heart of what love is. I think I Corinthians 13:4-13(NIV) says it best:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I keep listening to Her Heart on repeat...listen to it when you have the time. I must say the whole CD is a must have. Just not for the melodies, but for the words.

Facebook Double Standard

I thought about this topic the other day and just have found time to expand on it. I live on facebook. That is how my friends and I plan events, view pictures, and just be nosey about each others lives. Facebook can be fun and sometimes scandalous (pictures will appear...nothing is hidden these days), but it always entertaining. It helps me keep up with family, friends, and old classmates. It keeps you informed about people you may not talk to on the phone, but you would like to see what they are up to in life. The other day I was reading one of my friend's status and it got me to thinking...I am going to just list some of his very interesting statuses first. Names and faces have been left out to protect the innocent...

"***** loves to eat and use my hands...don't believe me? check out my profile pic :)"

"***** is loving the concept of Santa right now. A woman...sitting on my lap...telling me what she wants...now that's life right there!"

"***** is about to market the must-have fashion accessory...a belt with a mistletoe buckle!! meet me under the mistletoe."

"***** NEVER wants his dipstick to come up dry."

"***** was beating so hard it made her walls shake...so I turned the volume down on the stereo b4 my neighbor called the cops ;o)."

"***** is looking for a new old chick in blue...got one I can borrow? :-D"

"***** would gladly provide the meat for a Kreesha Turner/Sydney Poitier sandwich...good googly moogly."

These are just a just a few of his recent statuses. Most of them are not blatant, but they all send your mind somewhere... Every time one these statuses appear he receives 10-15 comments on it by various friends of his that are mostly female. My question is if a woman had similar statuses would she get the same responses? Will women comment in disgust and will men be so happy to comment? Just a recent observation.

The "Memphis" in Me

Yesterday I was having a rough day. The pain of getting car fixed after an wreck is very irritating. It was not my fault, but I have to do all the work...thankful my uncle is an attorney and my passenger's father is an attorney...love the advice, not in it for money, just want my stuff taking care of correctly. Ok....I have gotten sidetracked.

In dealing with the car people and everything going on in my life I posted a facebook status stating that I do not want to go "Memphis" on them. I was born and raised in Memphis and sometimes the hood of Memphis comes out. I love telling people that don't get it twisted, I may have graduated from Vanderbilt, but born in raised in Memphis. When work, personal, and all things in between are irritating the hell out of me sometimes the Memphis comes out. Don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I mean did I grow up in the hood???? Not really, but I have friends, family, and coworkers who have influenced me and it does come out when least expected. Just another part of me.

Just because I am educated and got it together and sometimes have a soft demeanor people assume that I will not go off...I will and when I do it is not pretty, because it takes a lot for me to get to that point and if I get to that point...not a good thing. I think people take my kindness for weakness...please do not underestimate me.

One friend from New York said that is ok to late some of the home town out from time to time...but people are not ready....

Something New

This is the title of a movie that came out a while ago with Sanaa Lathan. The movie talked about a successful black woman who wants to fall in love and get married to a successful black man, but she falls for a white man. I thought the movie was excellent and it talks about a topic that I think a lot of people think about.

This week I was having a convo with my mom and she once again tried to slip in that she wants to see me get married and have a family (I do too...one day). I always joke and tell her she will find out when she gets the invitation. Some of my friends and I have the convo from time to time about how everyone so wants to see you get married even if it is the wrong person. Why is this to so many people the ultimate goal in life??? Like you are half a person if you do not have a significant other in your life.

I think as a young girls grow up they always have this vision for their life and if you look at your life now I am pretty sure that it has not turned out completely the way you envisioned. They dream to go to college, get a job, get married, and have kids...at least that was my dream or the dream my family has put in me. I think being black it was always assumed that I would be with a black man. I remember a convo me and my father had as we were leaving the grocery store and he saw an interracial couple walking in the parking lot and he said if I brought a white man home that he would kill him...and knowing my dad I would never want to test that statement.

I am 28 years old now and I am my own person and have grown to have my own beliefs and views in life. I feel that love is love no matter what color the person is. Do I want to marry someone of my own race??? Yes, but I am open. I don't like when people say they only date a certain race because you are closing the door to a person who might be everything else that you find attractive in a mate. Since Barack Obama has been elected someone made the statement that if a black (African) man did not end up with a white woman then we would not have Barack as the first black president. Love is love, people have to accept it or leave it. Now I do believe that I have more in common with someone of my own race, but that does not have to do with the color of their skin, I think it is more of a cultural thing more than anything. When it comes down to it skin color is a physical trait and does not have anything to do with how a person treats you or who the person is in the inside.

Just some of my thoughts...I woke up this morning and was procrastinating. The work week is started. I love my job, but I think I enjoy my weekends of leisure more. Plus...got rear ended last week and have to handle all the things with getting my car fixed, never fun :( Ok...that was an aside. Hope you enjoyed reading :) I have a lot on my mind lately and probably be writing a lot soon, but just have to get my thoughts together.

The Approach

A little while ago I wrote a blog about we have to be able to have a conservation which I still see as a problem. My question now is why when you are interested in someone you don't know how to approach? I mean "hey shawty" is not cute or the other random lines that people come up with. Why is it so hard to approach a person that you are interested in. I recently had someone who I am pretty sure is interested come by my office and comes up with random questions and I am like what the hell? I mean if you want to talk to me ask me for my number come at me with a question that will help you and me to get to know each other. Don't ask about random things such as do you have the last CD from Soul for Real (love the group, but a random request). I do believe first impressions are long lasting and you only get one chance.