Joy

Dear Mr. President

Days 14-19: Several things......

This blogging daily is not going as planned.....

I got sick, took a few days off from work to get better and just was in a funk.   But.....Just because I was in a funk does not mean I did not have things to be thankful for.

One of my favorite quotes is....When life gives you lemons, find someone whose life gave them vodka and have a party!!!!! Makes me smile every time I say it :-)

But seriously.....when I started off on this task to blog about things I am thankful for my goal was to truly focus on the positives I have in life, but in this experience a lot of the negatives have reared their ugly head :-/

Well 6 days have gone by since my last blog of thankfulness.....so what have I been thankful for????

Thankful for the times when my hair does what it is supposed to do.....might not last long, but I do get a pic in here and there.

My smile....one thing I TRY real hard to keep on doing....not always the easiest, but sometimes when you just smile it makes you feel better.

For getting to see Melissa Harris Perry speak in person....she was AWESOME!!!!! Not the best pic in the world, but what she said....confirmation on my next moves :-)

This cd is coming out in less than a month......SUPER DUPER EXCITED!!!! For those who know me......Love the music of all these men!!!

Do you see this hair???? Love it!!!! Now I am not bold enough to do the style....but the color is giving my life!!! Will this be my next move???? We shall see.... Glad this pic gives me inspiration!

For receiving this text.....reminds me of a happier time in my life......it was time of questioning a lot, but the person who sent it to me will always have a place in my heart.


Well.....those are just a few things that I have been thankful for.  Although I am not posting everyday, I promise that when I do post I will post things I have been thankful for over the time I have been absent. 

I am in a weird place in my life right now....questioning, wondering, longing......I do not know the answers, and honestly do not know if I am meant to know the answers, but what I do know is that I am still standing, I am still progressing.  Learning each day and growing each day.......

Days 11, 12, & 13: Frank, Ledisi, and Eric.....

This weekend I was under the weather and was resting this weekend so did not blogging :-( But I do want to keep up with my being thankful.  So I am combining the posts......

The 3 names listed in the title are 3 artists whose songs are speaking to me right now......

I am thankful that their lyrics were able to say what I am not always able to say.

Frank Ocean's Bad Religion

Ledisi's We are One

Eric Roberson's At the Same Time



Day 1: My tattoo

This might seem weird, but I am truly thankful for my tattoo....why? Because of what it represents and why I got it.  I use to be the person who was like I could NEVER get a tattoo, why? Because they are permanent, forever!!! Throughout my college and young adult years I was the one who got multiple piercings (oh how I miss them), but with piercings I can take them out whenever I got ready....so the nose, tongue, and eyebrow piercings are all gone :-( But a tattoo....I have to have that for LIFE???? That was always my thought process.

So once I decided to get a tattoo it took me years to decide! I wanted something that was meaningful to me and something that I could hide at work (which I really don't do anymore) yet show off when I am chill mode. So what did I get? A music heart, a heart made out of the treble and bass clefs and I LOVE IT!!! It is placed on the back of my neck so that I can cover it with me hair but when out for play and the curls are up it can be seen. 

But why this? Because I love music!!! Music gives me a place of escape and it has inspired me most of my life. I put the tattoo on my neck because when I am really stressed or irritated I rub the back of my neck and the tattoo is a reminder of what calms me and something I love. 

I am thankful for my tattoo because I had the guts to get it (but still don't have the guts to show my mother) and it is a daily reminder that things that I use to think I would never do.....I can do. It is a daily reminder that music is one place when everything else around me is in chaos....I can always escape to my music....my lyrics, my melodies, my beats. 

So if you follow me you have seen the tattoo, but if this is your first time coming across my blog, her is my tattoo that I love!!

My Tattoo!!!!!

Frank Ocean's Channel Orange

This CD right here........

Okay, I have been a fan of Frank Ocean for a little while, but after his recent actions and listening to his newest cd, LOVE HIM!!!
Some of his lyrics....if not all of his lyrics are amazing to me! If you have not PURCHASED this cd I really suggest it.  A cd has not hit my soul since Ledisi's Lost & Found came out.

There are several lyrics that touch me like no one will ever no.....especially Bad Religion. 

Check it out and I promise you will not be dissapointed! 

Sidenote.....work is killin me!! But only a few more days till a break and hopefully in a week I will have a very interesting post ;-)

Have a fantabulous day!!!

I Have a Song

How does is feel to finally be free

I wonder will I ever know

Sometimes I dream of how that can be

To have a life that I own

Chorus:

When you look at me

what do you see

do you understand my story

all I want is love

For someone else to see

If you took the time I have a song

For so, so long I've been searching

For something that were probably not meant to find

But no matter how hard it gets no matter if the tears fall

Nothing should stop us from trying ohhh?

Chorus:

When you look at me

what do you see

do you understand my story

all I want is love

For someone else to see

If you took the time I have a song

4x

Think this is my theme song.......

Gospel vs. Secular Music

Today has been a busy day at work, but needed a break so I decided to write a short blog.  Today at Bible Study we are having a guest pastor come for the beginning of a Revival. Posted below is a clip from the last time he came...not his sermon, but a fun way he started off....



Some people have criticized his turning secular music into love songs to God. So I pose the question of do you think there is anything wrong with what he did? What makes a song secular vs. gospel?  Do you believe that people should not listen to secular music? 

No right or wrong answer, just your thoughts. I hope you enjoyed the clip above...I did ;-)

Meditate

This is one of my favorite songs of all times. I am a huge Out of Eden fan and this was one of the songs that got me hooked on their music.  This song got me through some hard times in college and still helps me get through some things today.  If you just listen to the words and the melodies the song really says something.

I am hitting a critical point in my life and really making some difficult decisions in my life. To others they might not seem big, but to me they are. It could determine where I see my life in a few years, my career, my family, and my friends.  I have been praying and thinking a lot lately and I do think I am coming to a conclusion or the begining of what direction I am going....only God knows what is in store and I am excited about what is going to happen and what is happening.

Music I am feeling

This cd is in heavy rotation on the Ipod right now. I love music right now and purchased this yesterday with Mario's new cd and Mario's cd....has not won me over, but Me'shell's has. I think my favorite song is her remake of Love You Down. It's melodies are so smooth and she provides a different take on a song I use to jam to back in high school (I am getting old).

I am still taking the time to listen to the words of the songs because I am caught up in her voice and the melodies right now. Devil's Halo, the title track, is a great instrumental interlude that I am feeling also.

I am no music connoisseur, but I love music, and in my opinion this is a great addition to any collection.

Relationship over Religion

I follow PJ on twitter and he says so much in this clip. This was in response to his segment on CNN. I will be purchasing the book soon. He creates excellent music and to me really brought home the point of relationship over religion.

Love or Lust Songs???

A lot of my blogs come from random status updates or conversations that I have on facebook. A while ago I made the statement that people don't make love songs anymore, they just just make lust songs. This statement was brought back to my attention when I was looking at someone's twitter updates and they said that one of their favorite love songs was Seduction by Usher. I was like really? I love that song, but I truly do not see it as a love song, but I lust song. Why do I say this??? I think the song shows nothing but sensuality. People look at me crazy when I say this (don't judge me) and if you want an explanation then ask...Just because I might want to have sex with you does not mean that I love you...will not go into details, like I said ask.

I said all this to say. Do people right love songs anymore??? Yes, but most songs out there are lust songs in my opinion. For instance some of my favorite songs right now come from artist like Musiq, Anthony Hamilton, and Ledisi. I hear love songs from them that truly talk about love in relationships...not just wanting to sleep with some one. One of my favorite songs that I consider a love song is The Wedding Song by John P. Kee, it has the best line ever to me...

You've must have been heaven sent because no one can compliment my calling like you do.

This might not be the exact words, but it is the the gist of what I love. I think this statement says a lot in a few words. I think for this to be accomplished true love has to take place. Just my thoughts.

I wish that true love songs were produced more. Now nothing is left up to the imagination. Songs just talk about how you look or how much a person wants to sleep with you and that is called love song...Prime example is Birthday Sex, now I will admit that I get caught up in the song, but really. Birthday Sex? How is that different then other sex? This is not a love song, but a lust song...but people confuse that with love...Which to me leads to a bigger problem of do people really know what love is or are they just in lust....that topic is for another blog.

I have vented for today. Just something that was irritating me today. I am working on a class I have to teach tomorrow evening....Have thoughts, but have to bring them together. I might want to get started.

Love it!

Ok...This was one of the few songs on the Mary Mary cd that I liked, but now I am loving the video. It has a great message and when you look at the video it makes a statement. What statement does it make to you?

I am a Dork...So What?

This morning I work up mad early like I usually do and did some reading and organizing. I began to think to myself that I am dork and I love it. A while ago I wrote about just doing you and that is something I am trying to do daily. I am trying to be who I am rather people like it or not. Some people think it is so easy, but it is not. I mean so many people will never admit it will change who they are to please other people, it may be subtle, but they do it.

I write to get emotions and ideas out, it helps me process things. I don't know if people understand what I write or even care about what I write. My life is not always an open book and I like to keep it that way. Not everyone needs to know everything about you. One thing I am trying to do is accept who I am flaws and all (Great Beyonce' Song!). Life is short and you have to enjoy it. I love me and God loves me and that all that matters. I am not perfect, no one is, but I am great person if you take the time to know me.

So I have decided to list some qualities about me that I love and make me who I am. Some people might not like...oh well it is me :).

Oh...Picture above is an old picture of me at a friend's wedding rehearsal dinner...one of my crazy moments.

On to the list of things that make me who I am

1. I am tall, take it or leave it...I use to want to be 6 feet tall...I stopped at 5'11.5" oh well...when I have on heels it is on.
2. I am not the smallest person in the world. Oh well. I have gained weight and not happy about it, but I am in shape and will not have a heart attack walking up stairs, when I loose the weight it will be because I have worked hard (which I am doing...slowly) not because people keep commenting on my weight.
3. I can be needy...I give all to people, and sometimes I expect it back. Sometimes this irritates people, but I honestly care about people and their well being and wish more people did the same.
4. Back to the title...I am a dork and I do stupid things from time to time. Too many thing to put in one bullet point, you will see evidence as you read.
5. I love to cook and can throw down....a lot of women can not do this today, which is sad. Take out is not economical and healthy, plus homemade food taste so much better
6. I am a facebook addict. My page has merged with personal and work and now I don't put as much on it...I tried to go a week without logging on it lasted two days.
7. I love to read and will read almost anything. Although I am a very conservative person I will read almost anything. I have books ranging from Zane, to Zora Neale Hurston, to Michael Eric Dyson, to Harry Potter, to T.D. Jakes...and so on. I have books on sex, history, erotica, love, friendships, sports, history...I can go on.
8. The Last Dragon is one on my favorite movies of all time!!! I have it on VHS and DVD...anytime it is on TV I have to watch!
9. Something I rarely tell people and must people assume the contrary is that I have never been on a date or in a relationship....long story partly due to my own issues and partly due to my standards(my friends say I am too picky, I say I know what I bring to the table...meet me or beat me) I can explain more in depth...but it would take forever, ask if you want to know.
10. I love to dance, but never in public. When I am alone or in my car with no one around it is on.
    
11. Music...my first love can be an addiction for me. I love everything from gospel to gangsta rap....even some country. I am from Memphis and it comes out from time to time which my friends love to remind me
12. I am a lazy perfectionist. I love things to be right, but sometimes I hate to work hard sometimes unless I am passionate about it.
    
13. I love going to the movies by myself.
    
14. I am rhythmically challenged. I can keep a beat, but my dancing and soul is on the slim sad.
15. I do not talk to strangers...people look at me crazy when I say this, but oh well. People are special to me and just don't talk to anyone.
16. I love cartoons...old school ones. I use to love Pepper Ann on Saturday mornings...not completely old school, but it was the last of a dying breed of cartoons.
17. Friends think that I feel I always have to be right...no, but 9 times out of 10 if I open my mouth to say something or voice my opinion I have done my research and I am more than likely right...try me.
18. Friends and family are important to me. I think you have to keep good relationships with people.
19. I question everything most times. I think we have to many people who are feed information without thinking for themselves.
    
20. Most people will be shocked by what goes on in my head because they do not take the time to listen to what I have to say...inspiration for the title of my blog.
21. I love Hannah Montana...sad I know
22. I have come to the realization of who I love, but they do not know and honestly at this point in our lives they do not feel the same. I am ok with that. If it is meant to be it will happen. I know the person I will end up with will value me for who I am...flaws and all. If the person I love is to blind to see it, that is their loss. They will always hold a special place in the back of my heart.

Ok....I think that is all that I want to reveal now. It is time to go get my hair done and have a "ME" day. Hair, maybe pedicure, movies and a meal. I love Saturdays!!!

Her Heart

First thing Tuesday morning I woke up and downloaded the new Anthony Hamilton on I-tunes. This CD was a must have purchase and was fixed in the budget (trying to get better with this budgeting thing...I love spending money, but I do work hard for it so that is my justification). I love the CD!!! Last week I bought Musiq which I love too, but it took a few listens to find the tracks that I love. With Anthony Hamilton I had my songs on first listen which is very rare. Lately I have been going back to my first love...music.

There was one track on the CD that I makes me cry every time I listen to it...sad right?? That song is Her Heart. When you listen to the words to me it is a love song that inspires me which is very rare. When I listen to what is being said and the passion in his voice you feel the love he has for this woman....which today is rare, hate to say it. I truly believe to many people today fall in lust...not love. Sometimes loves comes eventually, but it takes time.

This man sees his woman crying from the hurt that he has caused her and he realizes how much she loves him and how much he loves her. Her heart is what he loves...Her inner being her soul, her personality. Her heart touched his heart. He sees the love she has for him and I think that so many people, men and women, miss this about the person who loves them unconditionally. The person who loves them through the good and the bad, the ups and downs, the highs and lows.

People always have their opinions on relationships and love, but do we really understand it fully? I mean do people really understand true love, unconditional love? A love that sees past all the flaws, all the hurts, and all the pains. I think people have this vision of what love is supposed to be based on movies, other people's relationships, and even songs, but they don't get to the heart of what love is. I think I Corinthians 13:4-13(NIV) says it best:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I keep listening to Her Heart on repeat...listen to it when you have the time. I must say the whole CD is a must have. Just not for the melodies, but for the words.