Being a woman...more than being single or married

This weekend I went to a woman's boot camp at church. It was actually informative and I learned a lot. I usually get irritated about these things, but I gave it a chance and enjoyed it.  There were different speakers and interesting topics.  My church is to have a boot camp for men later this month and then a discussion with men and women in April.  Things were addressed that were not usually addressed in the church. Open and candid discussions were interesting.

Although I have said positive things there was one thing that continued to irk me.  Not necessarily negative or positive, just irritating.  Why (there goes the question again) do people define womanhood between being single and married? Not to negate the lessons on emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Topics were great, but one thing...every topic went back to men.  What I mean by this is that this was a boot camp geared toward equipping women to be great women...but a lot of things were being defined as being single or being married. I am a single woman with the hopes of one day getting married, but me as a woman is not defined by rather I am married or single.

I am not the independent woman who thinks that she has no need for a man, but I am also not a woman who is totally dependent on a man. I have dreams, aspirations, and visions that I want to fulfill in my life. Yes, a husband will compliment those things, but my life is not predicated on him. Being a great woman is so much more than baring children and being a wife.

I am a beautiful, smart, caring, and loving woman. I work hard, give back, and try to make a difference. I bring in my own income (rather it be small or big) and I provide for myself. I mentor, I teach, I reach out, I give back. I listen, I learn, I love, I live. I am me flaws and all, take it or leave it. I am far from perfect but I am on a journey of growth. 

These are just my thoughts. Debating if I will share with my friends on facebook...We will see.

Why ask Why????

I remember for as long as I can remember I was the type of person that liked to ask the question why. As a senior in high school I was voted most inquisitive (not because I was nosey...surprisingly). I don't know if it was because my mother use to make me read news paper articles and write the who, what, when, where, and WHY of the articles.  Things always fascinate me and I like to know the meaning or cause behind it.

Sometimes it frustrates me because I can't always get the answers to my questions. Sometimes it can be actually fascinating.  I do have to learn is that sometimes I might not get the answers to my questions.  This is hard for me, but I know...I can't always get the answer. 

Here are a few questions that I find myself asking frequently.

First list is I guess what you would call "deep questions"

1. Why are people so selfish?
2. Why do we let fear prevent us from doing things we know we should do?
3. Why have I yet to experience true love?
4. Why don't people get it?
5. Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again?
6. Why can't people handle the truth?
7. Why do people judge others without looking at their own flaws?
8. Why do people still prejudge people without knowing them?
9. Why is it so hard for people to see other people's perspectives?
10. Why can't I communicate my true feelings to some people?

Second list is just random why questions I have

1. Why do people ride your bumper when it is obvious that you are coming to a stop light?
2. Why am I getting gray hair already...I AM NOT OLD!!!
3. Why do men think young women can't cook?
4. Why can I wake up at the butt crack of dawn, but can't motivate myself to get up and productive?
5. Why do people want to speed in bumper to bumper to traffic?
6. Why do broadcast all the intimate details of their lives on facebook and get upset when they get put on blast by friends (and sometimes sites making fun of people)?
7. Why do music CDs have less music, but cost more?
8. Why do people not know their breath stinks?
9. Why did I try hookah and love it now?
10. Why ask why?

Okay just a few questions. If you have the answers feel free to let me know. If you have questions post them. Might and probably don't know the answers, but sometimes it is good just getting them out. Hope everyone has a great day! I have another blog post I am about to write. Don't know if I will publish yet...but need to get some thoughts out.

So Weak Right Now!!! HELP!!!

Okay...I am really weak right now. I am on this whole vegan kick and I am thinking about giving it up. It is not just the vegan thing, it is also giving up on the fast that I am doing for lent. HELP!!!

It has been about 3 weeks (started a little befand I am doing well...until yesterday. I have been researching more on vegetarianism, veganism, and so on.  I want to make sure I am getting all the nutrients and things I need to be healthy, which I can still do, but it is hard.  Also, going out to eat and eating with friends is VERY HARD!!! 

I recently decided to attempt to become a Pescetarian. This is a whole lot easier for me and I will not feel like I am depriving myself of foods that I enjoy.  This way I still get the nutrients that I need and I don't feel like I am missing out on things that I like.

I will make it through the day. The food smells will not get to me. The pictures of food that I can't eat that my friends are posting on twitter and facebook will not make me slip. The coworkers making homeade lasagna tomorrow is not tempting me!!! I will have positive thoughts. I am doing this for a reason and I have to think about the bigger picture!!!

Letting People Down

Last night I left a meeting and I was very, very frustrated!!! Did I mention I was frustrated??? So I vented on facebook a question that I ask myself from time to time...

Why Do I Mentor????

One of the parents commented that her daughter loves me and looks up to me.  This made me shed a tear. I posted the statement to vent, but at that point last night I was truly contemplating this question. I love mentoring, I love giving back, and I love making a difference, but one thing that irritates me or gets to me is the idea of letting people down.

I know I am far from perfect and have as many issues as the next, but I wonder what if people knew all the thoughts and issues that I deal with.  I know my thinking can be abstract and different from the norm, but that makes me who I am. People always say in church that a person has a past, but what if your past is your present? What if your struggles are real and they are daily (which I think for most people they are)? Sometimes I wonder if the title of my blog came fully to life and people knew everything (within reason).

I am living my life for me, but I still have the fear of letting people down, rather it be friends, family, the kids I mentor, and even myself. My new change of becoming a vegan is something that I have not told my family yet, not out of shame, but out of they will really look at me crazy and more than likely not understand.  This is a simple thing in my life. What about the more complicated things...I know my family will not understand just by statements and actions of the years.

We will see what my next steps are. I honestly do not know. I do know that I can only be me, but me is an evolving person and on a journey and right now I am stalled. Life is going in the right direction, but in a funk. I need to get it together. Not a bad funk, but a stagnant funk....

Me...Creative??? Sure?!?!

Thanks to LC over at Loving Me for giving me this Creative Blogger Award!

Here are the rules of the award:

1. Thank the person who gave this to you.

2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.

3. Link to the person who nominated you.

4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth.

5. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.

6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.

7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

Seven things about me.....(or not) ;-)

1. When I graduated from college my first job was being a professional shoplifter.  I would  go into department stores and attempt to steal things to see how to get past security.  This was done to test staff and security measures in the stores.
2. When I was 4 years old my mother use to make me read the newspaper for an hour each night.  I was learning to read so she thought show me tough words and I might learn quicker.
3. My most memorable kiss...was with a woman. Still have thoughts about it from time to time. 
4. My mother use to travel across Africa on missions trip and teach women about sewing.
5. My bestfriend and I one summer traveled to NYC and spent the night in Central Park.
6. Growing up I use to want to drive around all day in a taxi just to see how much the bill would be and to see at what point the cabbie would kick me out.
7. I can walk around on a handstand while in the split position....I GOT SKILLS!!!

Okay....Which one is true???? (I will let you know if you are right....I promise!)

Nomination of blogs....not good at this. So if you read this you are nominated :-) 

You are a what????

Recently I announced on facebook that I was becoming a vegan. Well... I said I was removing all meat products from my diet and a couple of friends just assumed I mean vegetarian. Then I had to explain that I am giving up eating ALL meat products which includes dairy products also. Several people were very supportive, others were like really??? Most people who know me know I love meat and even have joked in the past with my friends that are vegetarian or vegan about tricking them into eating meat.

I wrote a little about the change a couple of posts ago, but didn't go into detail.  Why did I become a vegan??? It started off as me doing the Daniel's fast for lent and I took it a step further and decided to make it a lifestyle.  I will not say it has been easy, but it is not as hard as I thought. I just have to be creative.  Some people assume that you can only eat salads and fruits, which is so not true. I have experimented with several different recipes and after Lent I am excited to try some of the dessert recipes I have found and friends have suggested (I do have a couple of friends that are vegan).  

Do I miss meat. YES!!!! But I don't think of it as depriving myself.  I am just making different choices in the foods that I eat.  As many of my close friends know I love seafood, crab legs are my weakness.  I was actually in Whole Foods one day and walked past the seafood section and that was so hard.  I just make a choice not to eat those things.  Nothing wrong with them, just for me trying something different.

Will this change be forever....I have no clue.  I hope it will be for a while. I even think in the long run I might add seafood back into my diet, but don't think I will do anytime soon. I mean they say have 21 days you make it a habit. The longer I go without eating those things I think the easier it will be for me not to crave or miss those things.

I hope my friends continue to be supportive and understanding.  It is easy when I cook for myself, but going out to eat or going over to a friend's house to eat can be hard. Most people are like more power to you and they feel they could never become a vegan....I use to say the same thing, but trust it is not that hard. If I can do it, I am pretty sure anyone can do it!!!

Revolve 2010 The Complete New Testament

I think this book is an excellent read for teenage girls.  As a mentor I try to think of creative ways of getting my kids to read and this book does it.  It is the complete New Testament with added features that appeal to teenagers. It gives great tips on clothing, boys, make-up, and various topics that teenagers deal with.  It is a lot easier to read the other translations of the Bible which I think will help people or make people want to read it more. When I received the book in the mail it looked like a magazine which adds to the attractiveness of the book.  It is easy to carry around, slip in your backpack, and it's format will also be an eye catcher to people who see you reading it.

The content of the book is the Bible and it portrays the message and makes it clear and easy to read.  It even gives "facebook" profiles of various people in the Bible which appeals to the younger generation (and even me).  One thing I did notice that maybe the book might not appeal to inner city kids, because some of the stories and examples they may not be able to relate to. Overall I think the book gets its message out and serves its purpose. I would suggest to any teenager or parent trying to find a Bible translation for teenagers.