Why Can't it Just Be Simple!!!!

A recent series of events makes me wonder why things are so complicated? I mean why do people make things so hard. If you like someone or want to be with someone tell them! Why do you have to play games, why do you have to flirt. Just say it I LIKE YOU!!!

People always say that life is complicated, why does it have to be? Can't we just be unfiltered and say what is on our minds, do what we want to do, and just be free? No, because that would be too much like right. I am not saying get rid of rules and structure, but I think too many people hide behind them.

This all I can say for right now......We shall see where this goes. Good Morning :-)

Is Sexuality Fluid???

Sexuality is Fluid....
I don't mean like: you wake up and turn gay (p.s. no one “turns gay”—that phrase kills me)
I was attracted to this Lesbian who was very masculine..Would I act on it? Iono but i remember forgetting she was a she and just concentrating on how sexy she was…
when it comes down to it attraction is not about parts, but rather the essence of the person standing in front of you!

This is a post from How to be Nola Darling (deux) a great tumblr site that I follow.  It got me to thinking coupled with a question about my sexuality from a friend lately.  The fact that I have never dated I have been asked on a few occasions (from a few bold people) was I a lesbian. Question took me off guard, but it also made me think.

I can say no I am not a lesbian, but I can see how sexuality can be fluid. Have I ever been attracted to a woman, yes, but that woman had very masculine traits, and some of my attraction was can I say....complicated, it was more about the person than the gender. I love men and what I desire when I am with a man that I am attracted to, but can't say the same thing about a woman. But I totally agree with his last statement....the essence of the person standing in front of you.

What are your thoughts on the subject? 

Life, Love, Me :-)

I promise I am trying to get better. Health is FINALLY under control, work is becoming manageable, and I am getting a social life. Still no date yet, but I am not giving up hope (although sometimes I get discouraged).  Tumblr and twitter have been my short random thought mistress. I still love blogger, but posting has been harder. The free times I have I just like to rest.

One thing that is different in my life is that I am really being tested on what I believe and who I have become. Ever thought you or see yourself becoming the antithesis of what you thought you would be, rather it be good or bad? Well that is where I am in life and I am trying my best to deal with. Not saying rather it is good or bad, but I do realize that everything in life happens for a reason and I am trying to figure out the reason for this phase in my life, so we shall see.

Love....think it is my motivation these days. Love of people, love of life, love of me.  After a few anonymous posts on tumblr (this option has been deactivated.....just ask if you want to know). I think love is an important emotion and action in life, and right now I am learning to love unconditionally. I am also learning that sometimes you can love someone, but it is better for you not to be in each others lives (don't assume romantic....friendships and family can be toxic too). So we shall see how this goes.....how I respond.....and what I learn.

Thanks for reading my thoughts. This is homecoming weekend for me!! It has been 9 years since graduating!! One of my good friends is coming in town and several events homecoming related and not that I plan on attending so we shall see.....

Till I blog again... Have a Great life!!! (was going to say week, but I am trying to blog again before week is over)

31 now......

Been meaning to update my life on my 30 while 30 list......so here it goes;-) Learned a lot about myself and although I did not complete everything I have not given up. Some things will be added to my bucket list. (sorry for typos....did from my new tablet and have no spellcheck)

1.  No tattoo, have a skin condition and want to get under control before I try, but design is finalized.

2.  No passport, but going to Bahamas next year and although you don't need a passport they suggest you have in case of emergency.

3.  Date.... I wish :-(

4.  Completed 30  random acts of kindness.....you should try it.

5. Read 10 books, once I got two jobs spare time was minimal.

6.  No spontaneous trip, unless you count trip to Atlanta I planned in a week.....that was spontaneous for me.

7.   No white water rafting, but going to still do.

8.  No grad school apps yet, had a career sidetrack, but in a good way. Going to work on a certification first that is really good in my profession.

9.  30 letters done, email and typed & hand written notes.

10. 5k happening in November.

11. Got injured during marathon training, trying again next year.

12. Saved money.....but doctor bills and meds took it up, but thank God I could afford them.

13. Donated hair and my hair has grown back!!!!

14. Lost 20, but also found some medical reasons why I haven't been losing weight and doctor is trying to figure out.

15.  No home......can't decide on where I want to live.

16. Became a clinical trials associate, close and better money.....one step closer!

17. Went to San Antonio and Dallas, past the Mississippi!!!!

18.  No big ticket item for my mother....but still will do.

19. Closet cleaned and goodwill blessed!

20. Did not visit graves of my father and my sister.......can't yet.

21. Some tough questions asked, but still have more.

22. Knitting is hard!!! Worked on more crocheting techniques.

23. Vision plan......still formulating work in progress.

24. No BIG concert, but did see Eric Roberson at Centerstage in Atlanta......progress!

25. First kiss...not so much :-(

26. Signature vegan dish...made. Brown rice and veggie dish, still working on a name.

27. Financial plan done! Now I just have to stick to it.

28. Art not purchased, money had to be spent somewhere else.

29. Speaking my mind........a little bit more.

30. I did have a fun year in spite of!!!!!

Trying Mobile again.....

Welll.....this weekend I purchased a tablet ago I decided to give mobile blogger a try. Easier to type (swype) longer post on here. So we are going to try again. I hope everyone has a great day! Going to try to make a post next to see it goes on here.

Living Life

To the right is me....I am still alive with blue hair.  I keep saying I am going to blog more.....not happening in my life right now.  Life is moving and honestly I don't know which direction I am going in right now. I am using twitter and tumblr more. You are welcome to follow me there.

For those who follow me and I follow you...Trust I am still reading your blogs (especially The Gayte-Keeper....don't comment, but I read one of the few I just don't skim).  I read blogs read daily to make me think and challenge my way of thinking. Sometimes even for pleasure :-) but I refuse to read bossip....can't purposefully kill brain cells.

Life is a journey and mine has taken a surprising turn.  My motto in life is now becoming.....

Never say Never......

Take it as you will. But like I said check me out on tumblr and twitter.  (not ready to open up facebook to everyone).

Tumblr: Humbly Musicstyle

Twitter:  Musicstyle

30 + 1

Friday is my 31st birthday....I am kind of excited. Last year around this time my grandmother had just passed and I was not in the best of moods. This year has been rough. Didn't accomplish all that I wanted to, but I did make some important changes in my life.  Life has been difficult, faced with some challenges I never thought I would, but guess what.....I am still alive.

My faith has been tested (still being tested) and I have questioned a lot of what I believe and what I have been taught. I do not know the answers to all the questions I have in my head, but I have more clarity. I still believe in God, just question a lot of what people do in the name of religion. Ritual without knowledge. I believe it is okay to question to gain understanding, an educated faith is a powerful thing, people act so much out of emotion, but when it comes to defend their faith....fall very short.

I am slowly finding my own path....