Insight into my random thoughts

Well....trying real hard to get back to blogging here and it looks like I am succeeding. For those who have not been following me or who have just stumbled across this blog, for the past almost a year I have been doing a Random Thoughts blog.  Check it out if you like.  Each day I write random thoughts for the day. For example, since today is the 22nd I wrote 22 random thoughts? This can be easy and hard some days. It gets harder when I get to the end of the month, imagine putting down 31 random thoughts??? Now all of the thoughts are not completely random, but they are my thoughts. Some are funny, some are cryptic, some are just blurts that come in my mind.

Here are a link to some of my favorites or most viewed thoughts.

Post Scandal Edition
Chest Pains are Never Good 
Thoughts While Waiting till Marriage
Things I have learned from 2 Chainz
The Yonce Did That!!!!!

Also, here is an example of the thoughts from today.....in case you don't go over to the original blog

1. Becoming more open

2. My love for you will it ever end?

3. Do you know that you are racist?

4. Pizza for breakfast is always good

5. I get that you want to change me but you can't

6. Should have sent to Starbucks

7. No good music has come out in a while

8. How well do you trust me?

9. I can make you smile

10. Looking forward to a day off

11. What did we so before smart phones?

12. Can I give up meat again

13. Facebook/twitter break is much needed

14. Going to make this a great day

15. Only you can prevent forest fires

16. Look for someone who challenges you intellectually

17. We will just agree to disagree

18. Liking that I am slowly getting back to my original blog

19. Jake from State Farm.....he sounds hideous

20. I will not get sick!!! 
21. Yes, I originally forgot #21

22. Big girls need love too

As you can say I am very random.....but they are my thoughts. They have been therapeutic, entertaining, and fun to do. Still deciding if I will continue to do them past a year....I committed to a year which is almost here.
So hope you enjoy and read!!!!
Back to our regularly scheduled program

Why? Why? Why?

After my last blog post there have been a lot of things going on in my head and my heart....One big question is why?

1. Why do I feel this way?

2. Why is it hard for me to be completely open and honest?

3. Why don't people understand?

4. Why do I let YOU get to me like this?

5. Why am I so different?

6. Why? Why? Why?

One thing I realize when I blog I get things out, but when I get things out I have to deal with them. I have to deal with why I am still attracted to you. I have to deal with what I have to work on internally. I have to deal with what are you to me, I mean are we just friends? I don't just a lot of things I am not necessarily ready to deal with.

This evening was a rare evening when I had nothing to do, no work, no meetings, no activities, no errands to run. So what did I do? I came home and read and watched tv. I came home to "me time" and that left me to my thoughts and my feelings....not always good. My mind begins to drift off to the what ifs and the past and what will be the outcome in the future....seems harmless, but not really.

How do I process these things without becoming self destructive. One of my coping mechanisms is food which has led to me being way to big so I must stop. So I think now....When I have the desire to eat when I know I shouldn't be eating I will write a blog no matter how long or small, no matter how random or nonsensical it is, just write to get things out. What else can I do? I am going to have to continue to think on this.

Think this is it for now....random I know :-)

Waiting till marriage.....

Where do I begin........

This blog is coming out of recent feelings and ideas I have had in my head and initially was just a blurt in my random thoughts blog.  At first I was like could I actually do it? Could I be that open? Well we shall see, if you are reading this post the answer to the last question is yes.

Close friends and few others know that I am a virgin and honestly hope to stay that way until I married......yes you read correctly. I am a 33 year old virgin.....yes adult virgins do exist. Has it been easy? Nope, but it is the road I have decided to go down. Why did I decide to take this road?? Well mostly because of my faith, but also in part to me feelings, my life, and just what makes sense to me.  My thought process is often different than most people.....but it makes sense to me.

I will not tell you how long it took me to finish this post because I kept going back and forth in my mind if I should write it? If I should post it? If I write it should I share it? Should I share it with my friends? I honestly don't know if by the time I finish this what I will do......time well. Post my go into rambling, but they are all my thoughts on why I chose to wait.

Okay.......finally decided just do it as my random thought blog on it.

So..........

Here are my thoughts while waiting till marriage

My Thoughts

Enjoy!!!!

Why can't I post like I use to here???

Wish I could get more into updating this blog.....

My random thoughts blog is still going and I do enjoy posting everyday, although, my last couple of post have had technical difficulties, but they finally posted.  I really do miss my random posts here, and the consistency of how I use to post. This was my first....sometimes I go back and read old posts and think about where I was at the time in my life.

My life has changed so much in the last few years, I honestly look back at my past and it is a blur sometimes. I am thankful for what my past has taught me and I hope I continue to take what I have learned and use it to help me grow.  One thing I do know that I am definitely not the same person I use to be and I do think it is for the better.

There is a song that I am not what I ought to be, but thank God I am not what I use to be.....those words could not be so truer in my life right now.  After I few hard convos with some close friends I am learning so much about myself, how I view myself, and how others view me.  It is easy to say screw how others view you....but it is not that easy. I am me unapologetically, but I do think people should take the time to say hey, if 99 out of 100 people look at me and think I am a bitch....what am I portraying to these people? You get it?

I think this is all I can write for now.....started this blog yesterday, but got busy at work. Maybe I can commit to writing at least one post here a month to start.....We shall see

BUT......

If you still want to follow me and some of the things that are going on in my world and my mind check out my new blog

Very Random Thoughts of Me

I promise you will enjoy my randomness, my thoughts, and a piece of me I like to share with the world.

Hope everyone is doing well!!!

recent pic of me! skin is on struggle these days, but slowly getting better :-)

33rd Birthday

Okay.....This morning as I was writing my random thoughts and procrastinating on facebook I once again realized my birthday is around the corner!!! I will be.......shhhh!!!! don't tell anybody

Yes 33!!!! Well 3 years ago if you remember I did a 30 While 30 list  that I am still working on (will update before my birthday) well this year I want to do 33 new/different/random things the month before my 33rd birthday! I want to try new things, do things in the city and maybe outside the city that I have never done before.  This should be interesting :-) Nashville is an AMAZING city and there are so many things that I have never done and want to try so I think I am going to venture out.  I have started my research and I would love most things to be FREE or little cost, but I know that is always possible.

So......I am up for suggestions. What are some random things to do? Things that are outside the box! Fun things! Educational Things! Cultural Things! Random Things!!!

Here is the beginning of my list......

1. Live on the Green Concert Series
2. Warner Park (a jog, walk, or picnic there)
3. Tennessee State Museum
4. Want to go to a distillery somewhere or one of the local beer makers in the city.....need to research
5. Shakespeare in the park
6. Wild Horse Saloon (they have free line dancing classes)
7. Southern Living Idea House
8. Friend has me interested in going to the gun range....me shoot a gun??? This is going to be interesting
9. Dancing in the District
10. Zip lining??     
11. Talk to strangers while out at dinner (for me this is HUGE.....I don't talk to strangers)
12. Go on a date
13. Maybe Frist Fridays
14. Nashville Sounds Game

Like I said up to suggestions thoughts of fun low cost or free things to do?

One Word Answers

I could not sleep and read this in an old blog that I read...Hopefully when I am done I am tired enough to sleep.

Hair – beautiful
Your Mother – love
Your Father – missed
 Fav Food – greens
Dream Last Night – none
Fav Drink – water
What room are you in? – bedroom
 Hobby – scrapbooking
Fear – negative
Where were you last night? – church
Something that you aren’t –outgoing
Muffins – blueberry
Wish List Item – peace
Where you grew up – memphis
What you are wearing – tee-shirt
Your Pet – none
Friends – few
Something you’re not wearing – pajamas
 Fav Store – Target
Fav Color – pink
Last time you laughed –yesterday
Your Best Friend – Eloise
Best Place you go over and over – Atlanta
 Person who you email regularly –boss
Fav Place to Eat – Panera

I tag…
Anyone who reads this...I hate tagging people!